Suspicion Page #4

Johnnie dropped a packet of money

at Newbury, I can tell you that.

These bookies don't trust a chap for long.

Not a chap like Johnnie, that is.

I don't believe you.

I don't believe a word you're saying.

Put my foot in it again, have I?

My dear, you mustrt take it so seriously.

After all, it's Johnnie.

Wonderful chap, there's nobody like him.

But I needrt tell you that.

He couldn't have sold them.

He wouldn't, without asking me.

Here he comes.

Don't tell him I've said a word.

If you want to see Johnnie

at his very best...

just say something about chairs.

He doesn't need more than one second...

to invent the most howling lie

you ever heard.

I wouldn't have missed this

for anything in the world.

- Beaky.

- Johnnie, how are you?

- What are you doing here?

- I just popped in to see you.

I'm so glad to see you.

How's my little Monkeyface?

- What's the matter, darling?

- Nothing. Why?

You sure?

Your wife seems to be missing

some chairs, old boy.

Your pipe's not lit.

Let me get you a match.

Thanks, old bean.

- Here you are, catch.

- Thanks, old boy.

About those chairs, old bean?

The missing chairs, old man.

Yes, the chairs.

I imagine the American came

to get them this morning.

What American?

Didrt I tell you about him, darling?

How stupid of me.

He dropped by about a week ago.

A friend of Melbeck's.

I think you were out riding.

Go on, old man.

Anyway, he admired the chairs.

Extravagant fellow.

Offered 100 apiece for them.

Can you imagine? Anyone would take that.

I wouldn't.

Wouldrt you really, dear?

That never occurred to me.

As a matter of fact, I told him you would.

Why didn't you mention it?

I'm sorry, darling, but I thought I did.

That's all right.

If they're gone, they're gone.

They're gone, all right.

Shall we change for dinner?

You are an angel.

Hold on a minute.

You say he offered 100 apiece for them?

- That's right.

- Let's have a look at the check.

- He'll send it along.

- I bet you 10 to a shilling...

you wouldn't dare let your wife pick up

the telephone and ask Melbeck...

if he ever saw this American.

Are you implying

that my husband is a liar?

Don't mind Beaky, he's only joking.

I prefer jokes on other subjects.

Are you staying for dinner?

I'm spending the weekend

unless you throw me out.

Johnnie's friends are always welcome,

as long as they remain Johnnie's friends.

Hello, Isobel. Good afternoon.

- I'll see you tomorrow.

- Admiring your display?

It's nice.

You are our only local celebrity.

- Are you going my way?

- Yes, I am.

- How's Johnnie?

- He's fine.

I just bought your latest for him.

He's an ardent admirer of yours.

I don't believe there's one of your stories

he hasn't read.

- What's the matter?

- I just remembered something.

Will you excuse me?

I want to make some inquiries.

- Certainly.

- I'll see you for dinner soon.

- Delighted.

- I'll phone you, then. Goodbye.

Hello, old girl.

Mr. Thwaite, I owe you an apology.

Good. I mean, what for?

I'll explain to you later,

but I'm afraid I've done you an injustice.

An injustice? Thanks very much.

I forgive you from the bottom of my heart.

You seem a bit hot under the collar.

Not angry, are you? Don't answer. You are.

- Must be about old Johnnie.

- Would you excuse me? L...

You mustrt be angry with Johnnie.

It's a waste of time.

If you want to get sore with me,

that's different altogether.

I annoy everybody, always did.

But not Johnnie. You mustrt, really.

Would you mind, I want to speak

to Johnnie alone. Could you...

- You mean out in the garden?

- Please.

Hello. Don't move. Just stay like that.

I must watch the expressions

on your faces.

What've you got there, old bean?

You'll find out soon enough.

This is a red-letter day.

- Yes, sir?

- What have we to drink in the house?

Gin, brandy, champagne and Pimm's No.1.

- Bring them all, and get a move on.

- Very good, sir.

Stand aside.

Remember that necklace you admired

in the shop window in Regent Street?

It's yours.

And here... No, that's for Ethel.

Beaky, here's a little present for you.

- What is it?

- It's a secret.

- Stick.

- That's the finest that money can buy.

- Thanks, old bean.

- Hold those a moment, will you?

Darling, do you remember this?

I saw the hungry eye you gave it

last time we were up in London. It's yours.

Thank you, Beaky.

Here are some hats for you.

Never did like your hats

from the moment I ever saw you.

- Like the funny hat you wore on the train.

- I don't understand.

- What made you do all this?

- Now, dear, don't be angry.

If you don't like the hats,

you can always return them.

I got a present for myself. Do you mind?

I say, old girl, this is a nice stick. Strong.

- Dog?

- That's right.

- All dogs are fond of me.

- Go to Monkeyface.

But, Johnnie, you haven't told us

what this is all about.

- Yes, what's it mean?

- I have the pleasure of announcing...

the Goodwood Cup was run today

and I backed the winner.

A 10-to-1 shot, and I had 200 on it.

200 at 10-to-1, that's 2,000.

- That's amazing.

- What do you mean?

- The way you worked that out so quickly.

- What?

- You know, the little sum.

- You're pulling my leg, old bean.

Darling, what's happened to your tongue?

- I suppose you disapprove of my betting.

- Not with 2,000 in her lap.

Come on, smile. I know I've been naughty,

but it's all for you.

- See that? That's Johnnie.

- Go on, darling, smile.

Where did you get the 200?

- That's not a very tactful question.

- Where did you get it?

You know very well there was no

American. I got it for the chairs, of course.

You sold the chairs

to gamble all your money on a horse.

Not exactly.

I owed the bookies some money.

It's an ancient story,

but you know how bookies are.

I got the 200 to pay them off.

But then, along came this hot tip and...

Darling, come on, give us a smile.

Come on, old girl. I know.

- You tickle her chin, and I'll make faces.

- Think that will work?

Come on, smile. Come on, dear.

- Do you see the glimmer of a smile?

- No, not a thing.

- Know any other tricks?

- Yeah.

I got something that never fails.

I make a noise like a duck.

No, that's not doing it.

- Shall I do this at the same time?

- Yeah, try that.

Come on, dear.

I forgot something. Darling, look.

It's a receipt from a certain shop

for a certain pair of chairs.

Paid in full,

and they deliver within the hour.

- Look, she's smiling.

- I dare say she is.

My darling.

Well done, old bean.

I say, look. Ethel's done her stuff.

What about celebrating?

You can always trust Beaky to say

the right thing at the right time.

Come on, old bean.

I could do with a pull at the beaker.

Ethel, a present for you. Turn around.

Mr. Aysgarth.

It's much too good for me.

You shouldn't have done that.

- Thank you, sir.

- Don't mention it.

What will my young man think?

- Don't forget the box.

- Yes, sir.

- Don't forget my hat.

- No, sir. Thank you, sir.

- This is yours, old girl.

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