Sweet And Lowdown Page #3

Did you like that?

I knew you would.

They say I'm a wonderful lover.

You got a terrific body.

You really do.

Round. I like round.

And I don't mean fat.

You got some heft.

Makes a fella feel like

he's been someplace.

Now get dressed.

I'm tired.

I gotta go to sleep.

If I don't get my sleep,

I'm cranky.

I'd give you cab fare, but I

don't assume it's a long walk home.

First time I had sex,

seven years old.

The guitar. Right.

Well, that's why

we came up here.

All right, you get dressed.

I'm exhausted.

What's your favorite song?

Oh, look who I'm askin'.

I lived in Detroit...

and Canada...

and New York...

St. Louis.

My father was in the army.

I never got along with him.

He used to hit me with a belt.

He's dead now.

Got asphyxiated.

I'm pretty sure

my mother's dead too.

She used to get spells.

I don't know if her family

put her away somewhere...

or if she's dead.

She used to foam at the mouth.

She sang beautifully.

The most beautiful music

I ever heard.

Except for this...

gypsy guitar player in France.

Can you believe I can't

listen to him without cryin'?

Give us a shot, would you?

So I'm gonna be busy later.

Somethin' came up.

You just go get yourself

home by yourself.

Now wait.

What was that look for?

What did I do?

I got business.

We gotta spend

every minute together?

Look.

You go get yourself a cab...

and I'll see you tomorrow.

Where the hell am I?

Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania?

I take one puff in New Jersey,

I end up in Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania?

I gotta get a cab.

I need a taxi!

Can I get a cab?

I'm sorry, Emmet.

I had no choice.

- We got a contract.

- Look, I run a first- class hotel here.

- This was an emergency.

- Yeah, an emergency.

What kind of emergency?

- My father died.

- Again?

How many times

can your father pass away?

I'm gonna come clean with you.

I got abducted and I was threatened.

You were gone for four days.

We had the police out.

I'm tired of shootin' crap every night

to see if my main attraction will show.

It's over.

Look, I gotta borrow

a few bucks for cab fare.

You're kidding.

How much?

Nine hundred dollars.

What's the matter?

Oh, I know this routine.

Look, I'm a free agent.

I do as I please.

I might as well tell you.

I quit the job.

I told him to take that job

and stick it.

So the band's leavin' for Hollywood

two weeks sooner than I thought.

I didn't tell you

about Hollywood.

We're makin' a movie.

Yeah. Just a little short one.

Just a couple of minutes of me and

the boys playin' that tune, "All Of Me."

You know? Good.

What are you lookin' at me

like that for? What?

Look, I got together with

a couple of guys, we had a few drinks.

One thing led to another...

and the next thing I knew,

I woke up out of town.

Look, I don't have to

account to you. All right?

We're not married.

I'm not the marryin' kind.

I can't settle.

Whole idea leaves me cold.

So I thought I'd...

I thought I'd...

buy you some lunch...

and say good-bye.

And I'll be comin' through here again,

I'm sure, sometime.

But you really are

a spoiled dope, you know?

I take you out to buy you things

or go to the movies, you're fine.

But the minute somethin'

doesn't go your way...

I gotta go, and there's

no way you can come with me.

I mean, you got responsibilities.

You got a job.

You have...

underwear and socks to wash.

And I can't have my life cluttered.

I'm an artist.

A truly great artist.

I need to be free...

so I'm saying good-bye, okay?

Look. How many fingers I got?

Ten, right?

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six.

There's eleven. You see?

All right, look.

If you come, it's not a free ride.

I'm not a charity organization,

all right?

I don't know what I'm doin' here.

Hey, if you come, you work.

What's the matter?

Nobody said it was

gonna be a picnic.

You know I can't

risk my hands.

Well, that might not be a bad idea.

And now, folks,

Chester Weems, a housepainter...

And now, folks,

Chester Weems, a housepainter...

will play the saw.

Fast falls the eventide

The darkness deepens

Lord with me abide

The scarlet tanager.

The barn owl.

And you are?

Homer P. Risley.

What is your profession, Homer?

Profession?

I'm a birdseed salesman.

- Oh, a traveling salesman.

- That's right, you got it.

And I see that

your instrument is the guitar.

Yeah, that's right.

I've had a few lessons.

No need to be nervous, Homer.

This is a wonderful audience out here.

Birdseed salesman, Homer Risley.

Boy, those guys were ready

to break out the tar and feathers, huh?

Next time you're gonna hustle somebody,

don't play so great.

I can't remember the tunes

if I play badly.

I wonder if Django

ever hustled any suckers.

Look at her. She's frownin'.

She doesn't like it.

Well, they deserved it.

They were jerks.

She's too good-hearted.

A genuinely sweet person.

I like that, respect it.

Won't get you anywhere in life.

I had a dream last night.

I had a dream

we all went out to Hollywood...

and I became discovered

as a major star.

You? A major star?

You were dreamin'.

Why not? I got a good face.

We're in a short subject.

We're the backup band.

We're in the background, Emmet.

We're lucky to be in focus.

You can always get attention

if you know how to do it.

In this dream,

I was standin' there surrounded...

by gorgeous actresses.

See? That she don't like.

Relax.

I'm with you now.

I'm not one of these guys who turns

his head every time some dame walks by.

I've had plenty

of beautiful women.

And I always

put 'em in their place.

Yeah. "Love 'em and leave 'em,"

that's my motto.

Love 'em and don't look back.

I never once regretted.

Not one time did I ever regret

dumping a beautiful dame.

You gotta keep your guard up.

If you don't, them pretty ones get

their worms in you, and then it's over.

You're done.

Particularly if you're an artist.

I've seen too many guys

cryin' in their beer.

Me?

I'm gonna be a star.

All of me

Why not take all of me

Can't you see

I'm no good without you

Take my lips

I wanna lose them

Take my arms

I'll never use them

Your good-bye

Left me with eyes that cry

How can I

Go on, dear

without you

You took the part

That once was my heart

So why not take all of me

The reason Emmet

hated Hollywood so much...

was because Hattie

was discovered, not him.

That was the truth of it.

She was out there watching him film.

Every day she would hang out on the set.

And one day, for, you know,

some crazy reason...

a director, who happened to be working

the same lot Emmet was on, noticed her.

And the director thought, "This girl

is a dead ringer for May Talmadge."

He was making a movie with

May Talmadge, who was a big star.

And he thought Hattie is exactly what

he wanted to play May Talmadge's sister.

And this is

a 30- second part or something.

When he found out that Hattie couldn't

speak, it didn't make any difference...

because the part

had no dialogue.

He just knew he had to have

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