Sweet Bird of Youth Page #8

- Your companion. Now, where is he?

- Who wants to know?

This is the assistant manager,

and I am Tom Finley Jr.

Well, I hardly imagined

that you were a senior.

Out, both of you.

Hatcher, better wait for me

downstairs, please.

- Now, Miss Del Lago...

- I am the Princess Kosmonopolis...

Shut up.

Miss Del Lago, you ought to be

more careful of the company you keep.

Operator.

Op... Just a moment, please.

Do you want me to call the police?

All right, you go ahead.

Do that, Miss Del Lago.

You tell them you spent the night

in an orgy with a criminal degenerate.

No, hon. Never mind.

Now, knowing him,

I figure you were victimized.

You're a rich, famous,

respected person, princess.

You don't want any trouble.

Thank you.

And now, if you are through

trying to frighten me...

...or shake me down, or whatever,

I would like to finish my breakfast.

Yes, ma'am. Go right ahead.

May I ask you

what Mr. Wayne is to you?

You may not.

He's... He drives my car.

He's in my employ. He's my driver.

What are you doing here in St. Cloud?

Okay, he brought you here. Why?

We're just passing through.

- That's all.

- Well, fine. Just pass right on through.

But you tell that scum

to drive you out of here quick.

- On whose authority?

- Mine.

Well, even in this impossible place,

you couldn't represent the law.

There isn't any law

that covers the Chance Waynes.

Not after what he did to me

and to my family.

- What?

- You just never mind.

- What did he do?

- Never you mind.

You tell him that I said

if he don't pass through...

...his life ain't worth spit in the wind.

Well, sometime you come on back

and see us, hear?

We'll lay out the red carpet for you.

Okay?

Well, so long, Miss Del Lago.

Nightfall. Now, you and him

be gone by nightfall.

You hear me?

Oh, where? Where did he put it?

Where?

Oh, Chance.

Chance.

Operator.

Operator. I want a bottle of vodka

sent up here at once.

Yes. Well, then send me

a bottle of anything.

And operator?

Operator, I want you to find

Mr. Chance Wayne for me.

Well, page him.

And try that happy

cocktail bar of yours.

- Change for a quarter.

- Thank you.

Did you arrange to have that

prescription filled yet?

I'll check, Mr. Wayne.

Hello? Professor Smith?

You can't beat Boss Finley

by making speeches about God...

...or by heckling him about chastity...

...because the Boss has a patent

on that jazz.

He's a low-down hillbilly.

And it takes a hillbilly to cut down

a hillbilly, and that's me.

Don't bother about my name.

You just appear at that rally tonight

and ask him one question:

Why did Boss Finley make Dr. Scudder

chief of staff at the hospital?

Operator, are there any calls

for a Chance Wayne?

No, I mean outside calls.

Well, page me if there are, will you?

Chance?

Chance "High-Stepping" Wayne.

Hey, hey, Miss Lucy.

Honey, you used to be so attractive,

I couldn't stand it.

Now I can. Almost stand it.

Well, boy, you still look like

a million dollars, there, Miss Lucy.

Confederate money.

Hey, a year ago you would have

laughed at that.

- Well, I must be faint with thirst.

- Thirsty? Here?

Don't you know this is the land of

Bourbon, Sodom and Gomorrah Finley?

- Can I help you, Miss Lucy?

- Yeah. Drop dead.

What happened to your finger?

It got caught in your big,

fat blabbermouth.

Hey, honey, you wanna laugh?

Listen. Last night, Finley gave me this

for an Easter gift.

Well, he has always been generous.

Well, that's not all he gave me.

He gave me the treatment,

the full Finley treatment.

Ending up canceling my rooms,

my credit and my welcome.

And this morning, I was handed a ticket

to New Orleans. One way.

Well, that man has an irresistible passion

to see other people traveling.

Does he know you're back in town?

I would say he is

aware of my presence.

What's in the pill, honey?

Well, when you are having fun,

this makes you have even more.

Are you? Having fun?

Baby, I'm having a ball.

Honey, I'm an expert

at pretending to have fun.

You are having a wake, not a ball.

Mr. Wayne? Phone, Mr. Wayne.

Isn't that Alexandra Del Lago?

Who?

Oh, Aunt Nonnie.

Yeah, it's me, Chance.

Miss Del Lago, will you

autograph this for me, please?

- I'm sorry.

- Not for me, for my little girl.

- Just write, "To my dearest Josephine."

- I'm looking for my glasses.

- Miss Del Lago, please.

- Some other time.

- Tell Heavenly that I will be there.

- You shouldn't be seen here...

...in this condition.

- Chance. Chance!

Get this drunken bum out of here.

Hey, hey, relax!

Relax, buster.

Chance.

- You all right, princess?

- Oh, Chance.

If you'd stayed upstairs,

that would not have happened.

- Oh, I did. I stayed.

- I told you to wait.

I waited. I waited forever.

But then a young man...

Princess, not now.

I've gotta do something.

Will you just wait upstairs?

Chance.

Chance, listen to me.

We've got to go away from here.

Princess, please, I haven't got time.

We'll just pretend that we're going

for a drive.

- Yeah, but...

- We'll forget about the bags.

I had a visitor, looking for you.

He was a horrible, vicious young man

with evil in his heart.

And he said that if we weren't

out of town by nightfall, he'd...

Oh, Chance, I didn't know

where to find you.

And at first I felt panicky,

and then I got a little high again.

- I'm sorry.

- Look, I know, princess...

...but I gotta go now.

- Oh, Chance.

Chance, Chance, let me tell you.

Let me tell you the strange and

wonderful thing that happened to me.

I realized that your coming back here

and the things that you'd hoped for...

...poor baby, I knew that your comeback

had been a failure, like my own.

And at that moment,

I felt something in my heart for you.

It's a miracle. It's a wonderful thing

that has happened to me.

I felt something for somebody

besides myself.

You know what that means?

That means that my heart is still alive.

Still alive, Chance.

Well, you've got a wise heart,

princess.

Oh, I need you.

And we need each other.

We'll help each other.

You won't find me ungrateful.

Chance, I am truly ashamed

of last night.

I will never degrade you...

...nor myself.

I understand. Now, please, princess.

You want a screen test?

You'll have your test.

I'll honor that contract.

I'll make it good.

I'll make it even better.

Oh, princess, you are a glorious,

beautiful, lovely...

Monster. Drive, baby, drive.

Break every speed law from here...

No. No, baby.

- Princess, I got unfinished business.

- Don't leave me again. Not now.

- I got to.

- Chance!

Chance.

Chance, you'll never come back.

They'll cut the life out of you.

- Princess, go up to the room and wait.

- No, please. Please, baby.

I can't be alone now.

Don't ask me to stay. Please.

Just give me this one last break.

Oh, Chance. Chance. Chance!

Don't send me back

to that room alone.

We could both do

with some comfort, honey.

Southern Comfort, 100 proof?

Thank you, miss.

Give the hicks a show, miss.

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