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and some lipstick...

I am gonna have lunch

with my buddy Walter...

and you are gonna teach me...

everything I always wanted to know

about women but was afraid to ask.

How ya doin', Walter?

- Amanda?

- In the flesh.

And what about that flesh?

Jesus Christ.

Susie, I'll have

a margarita, please.

So what do you think?

Did you get a good look at my legs?

- So, Steve never mentioned me?

- No.

Well, that's understandable.

We only just discovered each other

a few days ago.

I'm his half sister.

We have different mothers.

He sure did talk about you

quite a bit.

Really?

Check out that ass.

How'd you like to give her

a punch in the pants?

You're not gay, are you?

If I'm gay, Clint Eastwood

is a transvestite. Excuse me.

You don't look like Steve,

except something...

about the eyes that--

But you sure do act like him.

You always drink margaritas?

- Yeah.

- So does Steve.

Well, here's to Steve,

wherever he may be.

By the way, where is he?

I don't know.

He just said that he was going away.

- And he'd be gone for a long time.

- You're kidding me.

- No. He kept talking about Gauguin.

- Who?

Gauguin.

He was a French painter.

He decided to chuck it all

and move to Tahiti to paint.

He said he was

fed up with everything.

And between you and me...

he seemed very depressed.

Depressed?

Last night, three of his ex-girlfriends

were throwing him a dinner party.

When he left me,

he couldn't have been happier.

Maybe the party didn't turn out

exactly like he planned.

Steve is not the kind of man...

who would suddenly decide

to chuck it all and not tell me.

- Did you check his office?

- For what?

I don't know.

Maybe he left you a note.

- You heard anything?

- No. It's very strange.

Beth, this is Amanda Brooks,

Steve's sister.

- How're you doing?

- Mind if I look in his office?

- Maybe he left a note.

- Go ahead.

But when I cleaned up his desk,

I didn't find anything.

- You're his sister, huh?

- Half sister.

We only just discovered each other

a few days ago.

Oh, 'cause I've been his secretary

for two years...

and he never said anything--

- Nothing.

- Did you look in the drawer?

- Yeah.

- Let me have a look.

He told Amanda he was gonna chuck it all

and be like Gauguin.

The painter?

- I can't believe he wouldn't call me.

- What's this?

- What?

- It's a note. Says "To Walter."

- Where'd you find that?

- In the drawer.

I looked--

"Dear, Walter.

I'm fed up with my life.

I've decided to chuck it all

and start again like Gauguin.

I asked Amanda, my half sister,

to stay in my apartment while I'm gone.

Take her to lunch. You'll like her.

She's got a great pair of--

So long. Steve."

- Was that his handwriting?

- Yeah.

What's the matter?

He's really gone.

Yeah, it looks that way, sugar.

He always called me that.

You must have been

really crazy about him.

I hated him. I just--

I always cry when I'm

really, really happy.

Sorry. Excuse me.

I'm sorry, Mr. Freidkin.

Mr. Freidkin,

we just found this.

- Steve's sister.

- Half sister.

Our Steve?

Why, that son of a gun.

He didn't know about her

until a couple of days ago.

Talk about your family secrets.

You should read the note.

What note?

- This is a joke, right?

- No, he's gone.

- I don't believe it.

- You must be Arnold, Steve's boss.

- How you doing, Arnold?

- Yes.

Steve told me a lot about you.

Well, not all bad, I hope.

No, not all of it.

We're gonna miss him.

He was one hell of an advertising man.

He was that, yeah, but...

I think he can be improved on.

Oh, really? How's that?

Why don't you take me to your office.

I'll tell you. How's that?

You're sure I can't

get you something stronger?

No, thanks. Except for

the occasional margarita at lunch...

I make it a habit

not to drink on the job.

You sound like your brother.

- Who do you work for?

- You, I hope.

I'm flattered.

Have you had experience

in advertising?

Hire me and I'll get you

the Faxton account.

Get me the Faxton account

and you're hired.

Hire me, I won't tell you wife

about apartment "J" on West 57th Street.

My God.

What else did Steve tell you?

He told me you pay him 200 a year,

plus fringes. I'll take 250.

Why should I pay you more

than Steve's getting?

Steve didn't give you a hard-on.

Denise.

You knew Steve Brooks

pretty well, didn't ya?

- "Knew"?

- Well, know.

- Pretty well.

- So tell me.

What adjective would you say

best describes him?

A**hole.

That could also be a noun.

Major a**hole.

Sounds great.

When do you start?

Tomorrow morning.

What can I say?

- How about you show me the ropes?

- Sure.

Goddamn Italian shoes.

Yeah, well. It's gonna really be

great working with you. Steve and all.

- Why don't we have dinner tonight?

- Yeah.

How about a little sushi

at Aiko's.

- Okay.

- Great.

See you later, bud.

Well--

Let's see which one

of your guides...

is available

to give us some answers.

Jesus.

Greetings, sahib.

Multiple blessings

from the eternal spirit.

It's Pasha.

Pasha, is it appropriate

that we speak?

Exceedingly so, sahib.

The answer to your question is...

in order for Sahib Brooks

to be...

reincarnated, he must

first be dead.

He's dead.

He is?

Well, isn't he? I mean, you're

supposed to know about those things.

If, indeed, Sahib Brooks'...

immortal soul has left

the bondage of this earth...

it is reasonable to assume...

it has not yet arrived

at its predestined spiritual abode...

or of course I would know of it.

Okay. Let's say that he is dead...

and he has been reincarnated

as a woman.

- You see, the eternal soul--

- Let me finish!

Sorry, Pasha.

Could it still be the same man

in a different body?

Although the grand design

provides for...

almost any possibility...

I have never heard of such a case

as you speak of.

But I will investigate and report

to you the next time we communicate.

In the meantime,

peace be with you...

and Brahma, the supreme soul...

the essence of the universe...

guide and protect you.

That really takes it out of me.

Pasha wasn't much f***ing help.

Aside from the fact that this....

woman claims to be

the late Mr. Brooks...

is there any other reason why you might

think that he would be dead?

No, of course not!

What other reason could there be?

You've reached 555-6731.

Please leave a message

and I'll call you back.

Hello, Kurt,

you ps ychic, ps ycho fag.

Margo, get your ass to Bloomingdale's.

I'll meet you in an hour.

Oh, yeah, that's pretty.

Where are you going?

I'm going to Aiko's.

Don't you think something

a little less formal for sushi?

Yeah, probably, but maybe

we should get it anyway.

Bound to be other nights

when I can wear it.

Oh, bound to be.

You think I'd look good

in something like that?

There's not much

you wouldn't look good in.

I bet you say that to all the boys

who become girls.

You need a bra.

We're about the same size?

Oh, yeah. I think we--

- Cash or charge?

- What's the total?

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