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And Sheila isjust another

rich, horny broad looking to get laid.

So go for it.

What's the big deal here?"

- Zi pper.

- No, it's a bodysuit.

It has one of those--

You know, those--

Those snappy crotches.

Unsnap it.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

It got very weird.

Suddenly, I felt--

I felt like my panty hose

were strangling me.

I got the shakes.

I couldn 't breathe.

And then she started kissing me.

And I fainted.

I am so goddamn confused.

I feel like my brains

are being ripped apart.

- Did you do any drugs?

- You know I never take drugs.

That's right.

You never do. Did.

Jesus Christ.

- It really is you, isn't it, Steve?

- Yes! Yes!

Okay.

All right. You want me to tell you

why you couldn't handle it?

Unless you'd like me

to jump off the f***ing roof.

- She's gay.

- No kidding.

- And you are a macho, homophobic--

- Homophobic?

Yes, and gay-- male or female--

scares the living hell out of you.

- Where are you going?

- To jump off the f***ing roof.

I should be so lucky.

Son of a b*tch!

Morning.

- Amanda, morning.

- Morning.

I understand you saw the layouts

for the Brewster Mills jobs, right?

- Yeah, it sucks.

- Hey, it's only a rough draft.

- Women buy these products, Dan.

- I think I'm aware of that.

No, that's a man's concept

of what appeals to a woman.

Well, all the women I showed it to

thought it looked terrific.

What women? Your secretary?

The ladies in accounting?

What are they gonna say to

Mr. California-suntan-vice-president?

- Arnold thought it looked great.

- Oh, Arnold would.

He's about as sensitive

to a woman's needs as Jack the Ripper.

Hey, maybe you're right,

but why are you so pissed off?

I'll tell ya why

I'm so pissed off, buddy boy.

I'm sick and tired of being treated

like a piece of meat.

- Hello?

- Morning.

I called you twice.

Yeah, I just got in.

So, tell me...

have you thought any more about giving

Freidkin & Booth the Faxton account?

Well, you're all business

this morning, aren't you?

Well, it's very important to me.

I'll give it some more thought, and when

I decide, I'll give you a call, okay?

- Okay.

- B ye.

- Sheila?

- Yes?

- In the meantime--

- Yeah? In the meantime?

In the meantime,

could we have dinner?

Sure.

We can have dinner at Sardi's.

Sardi's? Couldn't we go somewhere

a little less public?

Well, that's no fun.

I want to show you off.

I'll pick you up at 7:30.

B ye.

- Come on.

- Where we going?

- We're going to the gym.

- Why?

I'm gonna whip your ass.

Okay. Game to 1 1?

- I'll spot you two.

- Game to 1 1. You can shove your two.

Ray.

Don't get nervous.

Come on, Walter. You're not gonna

let a girl beat you, are you?

Shake hands with fate!

Call the foul!

Call the stupid foul!

- Come on!

- Tie score.

Next basket wins.

- Yes!

- Yeah!

- Whoa! Bravo!

- Nice game.

- Way to go.

- First time you beat me.

What are you talking about?

I never played you before.

Yeah, that's what I said.

First time you beat me.

And the last time.

Well, you played

pretty damn good for a girl.

Don't be so f***ing condescending,

Walter.

I play pretty damn good for a man.

Miss Faxton?

- Bring me the wine list.

- Yes, of course.

Unless you'd rather choose?

Oh, no. It's your evening.

You know,

I think we have a problem.

What's that?

No give-and-take.

We both want to be the aggressor.

Somebody's gotta be the man, right?

What are we gonna do about it?

- Flip a coin.

- Ha, ha. I'm serious.

You know,

if you were really serious...

you wouldn't have taken me

to this place.

Where would you

like me to take you?

You come here often?

I used to when I was a man.

When was that?

Not so long ago in another life.

Did you like being a man?

Oh, yeah.

What's it like?

Compared to what?

Being a woman.

Don't get me wrong.

I'm not--

You know, being a woman...

it's not half bad.

It's being both

that is the b*tch.

I'll drink to that.

- How you doing, ladies?

- Aw, f*** off.

What a shame. Didn't your mother tell

you nice girls don't talk like that?

Bet you don't talk like that,

doll face, huh?

Only to a**holes who don't pay attention

when they're told to f*** off.

Oh, I should have guessed.

Which one likes to be the man, huh?

Tonight it's my turn.

You talk like a man.

You fight like one.

Guess you really must have been one.

Come on.

Let me take you someplace

where you can be yourself.

Wherever that is.

- Go ahead.

- Okay.

Some place.

Good evening, ladies.

May I take your order?

- Two margaritas.

- Right away.

- See? That wasn't so difficult?

- For who?

You can tell Freidkin

he can have the Faxton account.

Thanks, Sheila. Thanks.

Wanna dance?

Yeah. Sure.

Sure.

- Who's gonna lead?

- You are.

Okay.

Geez. I forgot how to do this.

This doesn't feel right.

- I can't.

- Then I will.

I really wanna work this out.

- Okay.

- I'm terribly attracted to you.

Oh, God.

Sheila, don't do this.

It's not that easy. You'll have to

give me one good reason why I shouldn't.

Listen to me.

I only came on to you

to get the Faxton account.

That's the only reason?

Yeah.

You're cruel like a man.

Sheila, listen to me.

Let me explain to you.

- Listen, you don't understand.

- But I do.

- You having a problem, Miss Faxton?

- Hey, f*** off, okay?

- It's all right, Nancy.

- No, it's not all right, Nancy.

I don't like being grabbed.

Oh, geez!

As you could see,

I'm not doing very good so far.

Would it be kosher

if I prayed to You for a little help?

Well, I'm not giving up yet.

It's 3:
00 a.m. in the BigApple,

and coming to you direct...

from the Gahena Casino,

located on the Hades turnpike...

a stone's throw from the center

ofthe Earth, the molten music...

of Judas Iscariot

and his 30-piece orchestra.

What is that smell?

Brimstone.

You'll get used to it

after a few hundred years.

Who in hell are you?

Who in hell do you think I am?

You look like the devil.

Well, you don't look

so good yourself.

Just a little

netherworld humor there.

Hilarious.

What do you want?

You.

- Your time's up.

- Says who?

Have you found one female

who likes Steve Brooks?

Well, I haven't

talked to them all yet.

You'd just be wasting your time.

You see, I know who they are...

and they all think that Steve Brooks

is a selfish, inconsiderate...

unredeemable male chauvinist pig.

I don't believe you! You're

not to be trusted. You're the devil.

Anyway, you know, He/She didn't give me

any timetable on this thing.

- Look, you hate being a woman, right?

- Well--

There's no fun in PMS

or shaving your legs.

And what have you got

to look forward to?

Guys like you used to be,

always trying to get into your pants?

Cellulite, menopause.

I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

Right now there's a shortage

of good recruiters.

I bet there's not a man alive

who wouldn't sell his soul...

for the chance

to jump in the sack with you.

Forget it!

Sooner or later

I'm going to get you anyway.

Come along now, and I'll guarantee you

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