Take Me Out To The Ball Game Page #2

known as the Wolves...

"...all rights and interests in said club...

"...have been bequeathed to the late

Colonel's young and distant relative...

"...one K. C. Higgins...

"...who will arrive in Florida

on the 10th instant to assert ownership...

"...and actively participate

in the management of said club."

- Who's K. C. Higgins?

- He'll probably want to pitch.

We got to take orders from a dopey kid

who never swung a bat?

- Looks that way.

- Not to me!

I don't know about you,

but I want us to win the pennant.

You don't cop any prize money

finishing in last place.

This happened to Baltimore once.

They had to dig them out of the cellar.

- Lf this guy opens his trap, I quit!

- So do I!

Wait a minute. Quiet.

Wait a minute now.

How about a little fair play here, boys?

You guys don't even know this Higgins.

Now here's what I say.

He's gonna arrive here Sunday morning.

Until then, let's keep an open mind.

Above all, let's not judge him too hastily.

The little rat!

You take the back end.

Are you Mr. Higgins?

K. C. Higgins?

- Higgins?

- No.

Good.

- Are either of you Higgins?

- No.

- I'm so sorry.

- That's all right.

I never did have any sense of direction,

Miss...

- K. C., Miss Higgins.

- Thank you.

You're welcome.

Florida Palms Hotel, please.

K. C. Higgins!

He's a girl!

Miss?

Are you looking for someone?

Yes, I am. Michael Gilhuly,

he's the manager of the Wolves.

Could you point him out to me?

Lt'd be an awful long point.

He's down at the railroad station.

He went to meet the 12:10.

That's the train I came in on.

I must have missed him.

I wonder how he missed you.

Mike ought to be along very soon.

Where are your manners?

Give the lady your seat.

- I'm sorry, ma'am.

- Won't you sit down?

One of our very nicest chairs.

Go read your funny papers, kid.

Mike's in a nasty temper this morning.

Boy, is he mad!

What seems to be the trouble?

He's gone to get the new owner

of the club.

Is that bad?

Bad?

On the trip down, you didn't run into

a little fathead named Higgins, did you?

A little fathead?

Some, lamebrain from Providence,

Rhode Island.

Excuse me, but I'd better...

You better wait until Mike cools off.

Now, look, baby doll...

Just put yourself in my hands.

Fast worker, that boy.

Just met her, and he's rounding third.

It's a sad situation, miss. Picture this.

Here we are, the greatest team in baseball,

the champs...

...and this little fathead from Providence

will come here and teach us the game.

- How do you like that?

- It's very depressing.

Don't ever be a ball player.

I'll try and avoid it.

Let's talk about you.

What are you doing tonight after dinner?

I hadn't made any...

- After dinner?

- Yeah, how about stepping out a little?

Just the two of us?

Aren't you ball players

supposed to be in training?

Who, me?

- I don't believe in it.

- You don't say!

What time do you usually get in?

We're supposed to be in by 10:00.

It's all right for the others,

but I usually get in about midnight.

Except, of course,

when I have an extra special date.

Then I get in about 2:00 or 3:00.

Tonight I could stay up until 5:00.

Really?

Won't Mr. Gilhuly get mad?

What I always say is,

what the boss doesn't know won't hurt me.

You get it, sister?

I get it, brother.

Here he is.

I'd like you to meet a friend of mine,

Miss...

Higgins. K. C. Higgins.

- I'm afraid I missed you at the station.

- I'm sorry.

That's all right.

We've had a very interesting chat...

...Mr. O'Brien and I.

Haven't we?

We sure have, Miss Higgins.

Just call me "Fathead."

Take it easy, now, Eddie.

Papa!

What's bothering you, Ed?

You swing like a rusty gate.

- He's lost his batting eye.

- Yeah.

Mr. O'Brien, you're stepping in the bucket.

How's that?

I said, "You're stepping in the bucket."

Thank you.

Maybe you'd like show me how to do it.

If you don't mind.

I'd like to.

Slappy, would you get me

the water bucket, please?

May I?

You see, here's what's happening.

Instead of stepping into the ball, like this...

...you're stepping over here...

...and into the bucket.

Let me get this straight.

When I stand at the plate, I'm like this.

No, I hold it a little higher. Up here.

You see?

And while waiting for the pitch,

I wiggle a little bit.

Like this.

Just to get myself set.

Yes, I've noticed that.

Now, as the ball comes over...

...try stepping into it

as you bring the bat back like...

I'm so sorry, Mr. O'Brien.

Would you try it, please?

Pitch to him, would you, Joe?

But easy on that arm.

Yeah, easy on the arm.

Okay.

What a poke!

That's four bases in any ball park!

That's the idea, Eddie,

but don't try to kill them all.

You know Charlie Davis of Cincinnati

only hit 279 but he batted in 102 runs.

Why don't you get Charlie Davis?

Cut the cracks, Eddie!

Mr. Gilhuly, I seem to have

taken over your job.

Not at all, Miss Higgins.

Please forgive me.

I'll see you back at the hotel.

Let's get busy! Get around there.

Come on, Dennis.

Look out!

Ain't that something?

She's the kind of girl

I've always dreamed about.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to be married

to a girl who played baseball?

I remember this time last season,

we were playing Scranton.

Great town!

Anyway there's a dame named Maxine

that's kind of sweet on me.

A very refined, artistic little chick

with plenty on the ball.

- A kootch dancer from the circus.

- That's what I mean.

Goldberg, give me the bread.

Anyway, this minx is really warm for me.

One night, she's walking me home

after the show...

...when all of a sudden

I hear a flute playing a kootch dance.

You know like this.

- Good evening, boys.

- Good evening.

- Evening, Miss Higgins.

- Hello, Denny.

Sit down.

What do you think it is, a formal affair?

Is she gonna eat with us, too?

Hey, watch your language, fellows,

and your table manners, too.

She called me Denny.

This may not be such a good idea.

You're kind of cramping their style.

They're not used to eating with skirts.

I mean, ladies.

The sooner they get used to seeing me

around, the better it will be for all of us.

Yes, ma'am.

Would someone be so kind

as to pass me the bread, please?

- Yes, indeed.

- With pleasure.

Thank you very much.

Mind your manners!

What's the matter?

I had my pinky out, didn't I?

Temper, Mr. Zalinka. Temper.

Have you boys seen the fashion page

in this week's Vanity Fair?

There's the cutest pair of pants

with a peg top and a narrow bottom...

...if you'll pardon the expression,

and the sweetest pair of...

Look. We're plastered all over the paper.

Pretty nice.

O'Brien To Ryan To Goldberg

What does it say?

- Shall we tell them?

- Shall we?

By all means.

"O'Brien

- "To Ryan

- "To Goldberg

"What a great double play!

"The other team never can get to score

- "In every inning

- "We keep them from winning

"Each time that they try for a rally

"That's when we save the day

"Someone's on first

and the game is in doubt

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