Taking 5 Page #2

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I don't know,

but I could pay you back.

I could set up a payment plan

and even include damages

for pain and suffering.

"Pain and suffering"?

That is, like, so Law and Order,

but that's not going to work

for me, Gabby.

She doesn't like it.

From now on, Gabby Davis,

your life at Highland High is over.

She's finished.

Whatever. You can't just...

That goes for you too.

Duh.

Lainey.

Losers!

Shove off, Gabby.

Thanks a lot.

Hate you, Devon.

We should consider homeschooling.

Don't worry.

Kira's all talk.

"Don't worry. "

Don't worry?

Hello, Godzilla in a cheerleader skirt

declared social war on us.

Gabs, we'll be fine.

Losers.

I'm telling you, Gabs,

this is all going to blow over.

You'll see.

People have really short

attention spans.

Nice work, idiots.

Cute accessories, girls.

Losers!

You know, I really feel

it hasn't been that bad.

- Are you okay?

- I'm fine.

I'm totally fine.

Okay.

We are the biggest losers

in the history of the universe, Devon.

Future civilizations

will conduct studies

on just how pathetic we were.

We need to think big, Gabs,

bigger than Kira.

We need to do

something so freaking cool,

it won't even matter

what Kira and Lainey say about us.

Is this where you tell me

you just discovered

your teenage superpowers, Buffy?

Update.

Do you see that?

I'm trying not to freak out.

Gabs, that's today.

Great.

Great, so we'll just take off,

go meet 5 Leo Rise,

convince them to play

for the school,

everyone will love us,

and the Kira curse will be over.

That is the most genius idea ever.

Yeah, except I was joking.

Well, I'm not.

What?

You know, ladies...

and dude...

your love

really keeps the band going.

So let's keep going, shall we?

Come on, let's hurry, please.

I can't believe

you convinced me to skip school.

I've never done anything

like this before.

Gabby, focus.

We need to get the band

to play for our school,

or we'll be stuck

in social Siberia forever.

How are we going to convince them?

Remember when 5 Leo Rise

took that leukemia girl to her prom?

Yeah.

- We'll just say you have cancer.

- That is so wrong!

Do you want to be

Kira's punching bag forever?

- Look nauseous.

- I'm so nervous I'm going to throw up.

- Good.

- What?

- You kind of look like you have cancer.

- So fine!

Hi, who's next?

- Hey, how you doing? I'm...

- Oh, my God, Ritchie, hi.

It's me, Devon.

I'm your biggest fan ever.

- My best friend here, Gabby Davis.

- Hi.

Remember her name, 'cause one day

she'll be a famous scientist.

She collected all these labels

to win the concert for our school,

but they accidentally set on fire

along with a popular girl's hair.

If I don't do serious damage control,

these b*tches are going to

ruin our social lives,

so can 5 Leo Rise please

come play at Highland High?

Absolutely.

We'll be there tomorrow.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Yeah, we'll ride

into your school on unicorns.

Hey, I'm Mason.

Do you have something

you want me to sign?

No, I don't need an autograph.

I need a concert.

All right, fair enough.

See that?

If you looked like that...

...maybe I'd say yes.

You all right?

Kind of starting to freak me out.

Gabs.

Duh...

I have cancer.

Well... we didn't give it to you.

No. See, Ritchie,

this is really important.

This is a matter of life and death,

and I'm your biggest fan.

- Would you just...

- Some help here.

You have to.

I bought all of your music.

I bought all of it!

...money for my hair,

and it's really sad.

Oh, my God, let me go!

Don't you touch her.

Ritchie!

Crazy psycho fans, man.

You mean, when I said I had cancer,

Mason didn't do anything?

Not even a glance.

Gosh, that is so unlike him.

No. It's all a lie, Gabs.

They're all fakes.

Even Mason.

So you're telling me that my life

is just going to be

one big giant ball of suck.

Listen to me.

When you run

into the aggros of the world...

I'm beginning to think

that there's a lot of them out there...

you have to fight back,

or people are just going

to bully you forever.

Come on, do it.

- I hate you, Mason.

- Good. Do it again.

- Hate you, Mason!

- Come on, mean it this time!

I hate you, Mason!

- I hate every penny I spent on you.

- That's right, they owe us.

- And they're going to pay.

- How?

We're going to kidnap the band

and force them to play.

Yeah.

Wait. No.

That's probably not the best idea.

It's the only way and you know it.

As for you, Ritchie,

you are so over.

I, Devon Thompson, do solemnly swear

to adhere to the following rules.

Number one, I promise to not have

any boys in the house.

Number two,

I promise not to skip school.

Number three, I promise

not to drive the car. There, that's it.

You left that last part out.

I'm boycotting the last part.

A boycott's not an option,

cupcake.

Fine.

I swear to recognize Danielle

as in charge while you're gone.

Why does she get to be in charge?

Look at her.

Because you can't even be trusted

to drag a bunch of labels onstage

without setting them on fire.

You retard.

Okay, girls.

The phone number to McCune

Mystery Manor is on the fridge.

Please try to get along.

Your father and I

are really excited about this.

It's a weekend of fine dining,

intrigue, and murder.

Where everyone's a suspect.

Bye.

Gabs.

- Let's go.

- Okay.

Hello. Lincoln's been

expecting you. Come on in.

Here it is,

where the magic happens.

That's it, I'm out.

Oh, don't, okay?

Remember, he's never been caught,

and he would do anything for you.

So you ladies ready to talk

a little business or what?

Well, Lincoln, I'm a...

great admirer of your work.

Big fan.

Indulge me.

How do you do it?

Well, first I come up with an idea.

Then I do a little R&D...

that's research and development.

Then I plan it out.

Great, 'cause Gabby and I think

you're ready for something bigger.

- Huge.

- Something... legendary.

Like what?

Oh, I don't know...

kidnapping 5 Leo Rise

after their concert on Saturday?

You can't be serious.

All right, no.

This chitchat's been great, ladies,

you know?

It's time to go.

Gabby, I told you.

He's no legend.

Wait, hold on.

I'm as legendary as it gets,

but what you're talking about

is a real crime.

You remember Ian Fuller?

He tried to hack into the Pentagon.

He was 17,

but they tried him as an adult.

Now he's spending

his college years

behind bars

in an orange jumpsuit,

and... I don't look

too good in orange.

Oh, I guess you're right, Devon.

Wait. So you expect me

to get locked up

so you guys can meet

your boy band boyfriends?

They aren't our boyfriends.

- Yeah, we hate them.

- Hate.

We want to humiliate them.

If Gabby and I have to do this solo,

then we will.

It's interesting.

So you still got that basement,

right, Devon?

And when do your parents get back?

Tuesday.

See, now I know

what you're capable of

with the whole

setting-Kira's-hair-on-fire thing.

"Oh! Oh, my God!

My hair!"

It was good. I liked it.

But you guys are definitely going

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