Tales from the Golden Age

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TALES FROM:

THE GOLDEN AGE:

Urban legends from the Ceausescu era,

also called "The Golden Age",

in communist propaganda.

THE LEGEND OF THE OFFICIAL VISI

I see.

We do, Comrade Secretary,

we have flags and flowers...

We've got in some nice cows too.

Well, better to have too much

than too little.

We got what we could together.

Pigeons? No...

We have pigeons that fly,

but not trained ones.

We'll figure something out.

You're making an inspection today?

We'll sort it out by six.

Yes, sir!

Comrade Mayor is on duty.

I'll tell him... Sir!

Mihaita, keep an eye on the phone.

- Gogu!

- What is it?

- We'll need some pigeons.

- Pigeons? Right.

Today.

Comrade Sandy is making

an inspection today.

- Oh, dear!

- We'll need them by 2 pm.

How many?

Don't know.

See what you can find.

- Where's Comrade Mayor?

- He was at home.

Hey, listen up!

I'll be gone half an hour,

but I'm watching you.

Everything has to be ready

when I get back. Got it?

You! Come with me!

Listen, where's Florica?

Pa! Come out a minute!

What is it?

Oh, hello!

Florica, we need pigeons

by two o'clock.

Isn't the motorcade passing tomorrow?

Yes, but the general

inspection is today.

I don't have any pigeons.

You had some last year.

They were my brother-in-law's

and he ate them.

Where does he live?

At Viziresti.

Wait a second...

- When do you start the carousel?

- Tomorrow.

Any chance tonight?

If the Comrade Policeman

gives us petrol.

I could've given you some last night

but you didn't show up.

Parrots are no good.

Come on!

Hurry up, Victor! The motorcade will

be here by the time you're done!

Fix up those holes!

Get a move on!

We have an inspection this afternoon!

Hello, Dinca!

Clean up that cow sh*t!

Hello!

Blue goes next to the pole!

Put the blue end at the pole!

What are you staring at?

You've nothing to do?

Where's your flag?

Unfurl it all the way!

All the way! That's it!

What I wish for you, dear.

Sweet Romania, my glorious

country, my beloved land:

Wish you a strong hand,

A powerful weapon, and...

UP to Your past...

Out of your past...

Out of your great past...

As great a future, at last!

Well done, Vasilica! Go.

- Comrade Mayor...

- What?

Nothing. Why are you so jumpy?

Gheorghita,

this visit has me so worried!

Relax! It'll all be fine!

- Did you call at Pucheni?

- Yes.

They were told the motorcade

isn't stopping in the villages,

but to be ready just in case

The county office called.

There'll be an inspection

along the route.

A rehearsal. Don't get nervous,

or else I'll get nervous too.

- Did you take your tablets?

- I haven't had time.

Take them now!

Oh, Gheorghita, I wish it were all over.

Relax, it'll be fine. You'll see!

I understand.

I understand.

We put up flags...

That's all we had...

I understand. Good day, sir!

I spoke with Bulbucata

and we must have red party flags.

I've asked them to send us some.

At Adancatele, they asked why

nothing was hanging from the trees.

Let's hang some fruit from the trees

so they're not bare.

It'll look ridiculous.

We'll make a stand with fruits

and vegetables, like Harvest Day.

Shall we make sarmale with

cabbage leaves or vine leaves?

Both! Stop asking me questions!

At Branesti, they wanted slogans,

but not at Bulbucata.

They say one thing, then another.

Yes.

With the inspection, they haven't

had time to eat or drink.

He'll be starving when he gets here.

Fine!

We'll give him some of our wine

to perk him up!

You think he'll stay for lunch?

I suppose. We're the last village.

No pigeons,

but we have these Cornish hens.

They're no good. They can't fly.

What are you up to?

A**hole! Watch your whore

of a daughter!

It's coming!

The car's coming!

Put the books under that box.

Hurry up, Victor!

They'll catch us out of breath!

It's coming! The car's coming!

Come on. Everybody up!

The banners!

Get that out of here!

Bring the cow over!

Bring the cow over! Quickly!

Come on! Everybody up!

- Who's at the banner with you?

- Mihaita.

- Where is he?

- He has stomach cramps.

Cramps?

Altogether, now...

Hurray! Hurray!

Peace! Peace!

Why have they stopped?

Quick, bring the bread and salt.

Come on, Pioneers!

Down with the neutron bomb!

Welcome to our village!

What's with the cow?

Why is it on the road?

At Bulbucata, I heard they

brought some animals out.

They were sheep, not cows.

The delegation includes guests

from India. So, no cows.

No problem, we'll get rid of them.

We should get some sheep.

They're grazing, Comrade Mayor.

Get them!

Gogu!

- Yes, sir!

- Bring some sheep down.

What are you doing here?

I thought they might recite a poem

if the cavalcade stops.

- It won't.

- Just in case...

Look at his ears!

- He's Comrade Mayor's grandson.

- So what?

Vasilica, go home!

Send your sister here.

What's that fair doing here?

What fair?

It's the village fair tomorrow,

we organize it every year.

- Have it removed.

- Yes.

Remove it.

We found some pigeons

to throw in the air.

- White ones.

- Make them white.

So, can you get some sheep?

We're doing our best!

What's that smell?

It's from the chicken farm.

The wind brings it.

Come and see our stand.

If you shut it down,

why did I bother coming?

It's an order!

Who from?

It's a Party decision.

Let's try and talk with them.

Stay out of this!

It'll take time.

Hey!

Take it down!

I'll tell you a better one.

In '79, I visited the

People's Republic of China and India!

They served us snake.

Did you eat it?

Sure! We couldn't offend them!

But I pretended.

- Would you like some?

- Trout!

You have trout here?

We have a trout farm in the village.

Did you know trout's the

easiest fish to digest?

Indeed, fish is the healthiest meat.

It contains iron.

Look! These red dots.

Where?

There!

- I don't have my glasses.

- They're iron deposits.

Wow! I had no idea!

Go tell the farm

to prepare a load of trout.

No.

- Yes, it's a pleasure.

- Another drink?

OK, but this time, everybody drinks!

Just a drop for me!

Cheers!

Here's to tomorrow's visit!

Where's the toilet?

Over there.

We've got the goats.

They called to say...

- Sheep!

- Yes, sheep...

They're on their way.

Well done!

See? No problem.

It's not over until they've

passed through tomorrow!

Our Comrade Mayor

is very pessimistic.

Comrade Sandy is a nice fellow.

I heard he was tougher.

That's his way.

He works hard and plays hard.

He loves music, parties,

fiddlers, traditional music...

He's from the country too.

Gheorghita, you have musicians?

- Gogu.

- Yes, sir!

- Florica!

- What?

Drop everything and come with me!

Come and sing for Comrade Mayor.

- I bring my cembalo?

- Yes!

Hurry!

- Another drink?

- No!

I have to work tomorrow

and we should go now.

Just a drop.

Everybody!

- Not for me.

- Comrade Mayor, I said everybody!

Cheers!

Hey, come here!

You know the song Tudorita?

The one that goes...

That's it!

Come and sit here

so I can hear you better.

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