Tales of Terror Page #2

Mr. Fortunato Luchresi himself.

Bravo! Bravo!

As you know, gentlemen,

Mr. Luchresi is without doubt the foremost

wine taster in the civilised world today.

Huh?

That's nonsense!

I can tell the taste of any wine

just as well as he can.

Liar!

If we may proceed...

I said, l can tell the taste of any wine...

just as well as anybody!

Afraid to try me, huh?

You coward!

You poseur.

l say call the police!

One moment!

Please.

Sir, unless you are intent

on mere rabble-rousing,

you have just made a most grave

and serious accusation.

An accusation which I am prepared

to follow up with action.

That is, if you care to take the risk.

We will take the risk.

- Oh?

- Oh, yes, yes.

My name is Fortunato Luchresi,

at your service.

Montresor Herringbone!

What are we waiting for?

Bring on the wine.

Bring on the wine.

Pinot Noir, Burgundy,

Clos de Vougeot.

Vintage... 1 838.

- Quite passable.

- Correct!

Give me more. Don't be so stingy.

Burgundy. Volnay, 1 832. And...

it's from the better slopes of the vineyard.

It's... it's very good.

Correct.

I don't believe it.

Mmm.

Mmm... Bordeaux... Cabernet...

Chteau Margaux.

Vintage... 1 837.

A bit heavy for a Margaux.

Correct!

Mmm. Mmm!

Chteau Petit-Village...

1 828.

It's very good.

Correct.

Well, I must say,

you seem to know your wine, sir.

I should, I should.

However, l feel I must comment on

your most unorthodox method of tasting.

Huh?

The accredited procedure is, of course,

to partake of a small mouthful, like this,

whoosh it around in the mouth like that,

and then inhale like this,

thus releasing the aroma...

You do it your way and I do it my way.

Ch...

Chteau...

Ch... teau...

Savignon!

It's very good.

Who dat... who dat...

- Who dat... who dat...

- Please, sir.

- Knocking at the door?

- Please, sir. Please.

Am dat you, Sam?

- Couldn't you walk a bit more upright?

- A little upright?

- Yes.

- A little bit more upright...

Who dat... who dat...

Am dat you, Sam?

Please, sir.

Who dat...

Hey, why... why don't you

sing with me, Sam?

- My name is not Sam.

- But sing with me!

- Who dat...

- Shh, shh, shh.

I know the way. Follow... follow me.

Here l am, young and handsome.

- Oh!

- Oh.

I want you to meet a friend of mine.

A very good friend of mine.

The best friend I ever had

in the whole wide world.

What was your name, friend?

Luchresi.

Fortunato Luchresi

at your service, ma'am.

I am Annabel Herringbone.

I was just trying to help my friend home.

He had too much to drink!

Asseyez-vous, Sam.

No, really, I must be going.

Asseyez-vous, Sam.

Thank you.

Come on and sit down, friend.

Siddown!

- You... you live in the city, Mr. Luchresi?

- Yes. Yes, I do, Mrs. Herringbone.

My, what a lovely cat!

Well!

- You like cats?

- Oh, l adore them, yes.

I have several of my own at home.

He's... resting.

Yes, he's... resting.

Oh.

I think he's ill.

Oh.

With women...

with women you have to assert yourself.

Take my case, for instance.

I tell my wife to give me some money.

I want to go out for the evening.

Well, sir, it used to be

that she gave me trouble.

Argued with me and tried to withhold

what was rightfully mine.

But now she just gives me

all the money I ask for,

and I can stay away the entire night

doing exactly as I please -

which happens to be drinking.

- Since when?

- Since when?

Huh?

Seems to me...

since that day I went to

that wine sellers convention and met...

And he assisted me home and I...

l introduced him to my wife.

- Good night, my treasure.

- Good night, beloved.

Let me look at you again.

Until tomorrow night, heart of my heart.

Oh!

Good evening, dear.

You gave me such a start.

- Why?

- I didn't expect you home so early.

You didn't?

I thought it would be nice if l came home

early and we spent some time together.

But I see you've already gone to bed.

Oh, yes. l... I was very tired.

Exerting yourself?

Exerting?

I had a very strenuous day.

And a more strenuous evening, l assume.

I beg your pardon?

- Isn't it a little too late to beg my pardon?

- I... I don't know what you mean.

You lie! You dirty, faithless

little trollop, you!

You lie!

So you know.

How long has this been going on?

Long enough for me to realise that

our marriage is a farce, a mockery!

You can no longer

wound me with your cruelty.

I have found, at long last, love.

How touching.

Mock me if you will, but this is the end.

You and l are finished.

I'm going to leave you

and become Mrs. Fortunato Luchresi!

You are?

Congratulations.

Good afternoon, Mr. Herringbone!

- How very nice to see you again.

- And how nice to see you again!

- And how well you look.

- Thank you, sir. And yourself as well.

- Thank you. Come in.

- Thank you.

- After you, sir.

- Oh, thank you.

And how nice of you and Mrs., uh...

Mrs. Herringbone to invite me for dinner.

Oh, we're enchanted to have you, sir.

Most delighted, I assure you.

- Please.

- Thank you.

Ah, the cat!

The cat. What a charming fellow he is!

- Yes, isn't he?

- Yes. And is Mrs. Herringbone about?

Oh, yes. She's very, very busy

preparing our dinner.

- May l offer you some sherry?

- Oh, l'm delighted, sir. Delighted!

- Amontillado?

- That's correct, sir.

Ah, but what an amontillado!

A wine to conjure memories

of taste buds in transport.

I'm terribly happy you like it, sir.

To your health.

- And to yours, sir.

- Thank you, sir.

- A draught from paradise.

- That it is, that it is.

Let me fill your glass.

Look, mine is always empty.

- Well, I cannot resist.

- That I've noticed.

- I beg your pardon?

- No, nothing, nothing.

To your long life.

And to your long life, sir.

Right now l have a better chance

than you have.

- You spoke, sir?

- No, no. Nothing.

- Let me fill up your glass.

- Well, just a bit more.

Where did you get this... -

pardon me - this excellent wine?

Oh, I've had that in my cellar

for a long, long time.

- Indeed?

- Saving it for a very special occasion.

- Oh, today?

- Yes, sir.

- What occasion? Surely not my presence.

- That's part of it.

And what is the other part?

Your death.

What are you doing?

I'll give you three guesses.

- Surely you can't mean to?

- Wall you in, yes.

- But why?

- Ask your treasure, your heart of hearts.

- What?

- Ask Annabel!

Annabel? l...

Ann... a... bel?

You... you killed her.

You notice everything, don't you?

Help!

Please, let me go. Help!

Don't make so much noise. I don't like it.

- You're insane!

- That may be, but... very clever.

The way I put that drug

in your amontillado

with the consummate skill of a Borgia.

And this whole arrangement.

- They'll never find you behind this wall.

- You can't mean it. You can't mean it!

Haven't I convinced you

of my sincerity yet?

I'm genuinely dedicated

to your destruction.

Help! Help!

Help!

What kind of a man are you, anyway?

Make love to my wife

and doesn't even talk to me!

It's an excellent jest, sir.

We'll have many a good laugh

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