Tales of the Riverbank Page #5

It's the ferrets again.

Oh, no, this is

the giddy limit.

Oh, my giddy aunt.

- Sonia:
Oh, no!

- Ferret:
Here we go.

Sonia!

- Sonia!

- Help!

We've just got to

try and rescue Sonia.

I'm not leaving without her.

Hammy:
We've got to stop

them making dirty money.

Listen, pal, if you think you're gonna

get past those ferocious ferrets,

and take Sonia away from them fat

cats, let alone their money,

you're living in a dream land.

Oh, darkness.

- What's with her?

- She's having a vision again.

Oh, right.

Betty:
Oh, here it comes.

I see darkness.

I hate to pick you up

on a technicality, dear,

but you can't actually

see darkness.

Roderick:
This isn't right.

It's the middle of the day.

This is coming

from that factory.

Not good. We should...

- Uh, run?

- Exactly.

This is horrible!

Who's that? Is it a worm?

Dive, super-pike, dive!

Oh! Oh, I see the big dirt.

So do I, Betty.

Hind legs:
We all do, lady.

We're all going to...

friends, it's been

a privilege sailing together.

- I see us falling.

- Falling? Falling where?

Computer voice:

Rat. Pollution level six.

Keep away from all girls.

Ah-choo!

Guinea pig.

Pollution level nine.

Full of hot air.

Hamster. Pollution level seven.

Simple cell structure.

Please speak slowly.

Rabbit. Pollution level five.

Conversation causes earache.

Owl:
So what had they

fallen into?

A secret underground

community of some kind.

All very high tech,

with doors that opened

with an impressive... Whoosh.

Al fresco!

Si. It is I. It is good

to see you, my friends.

How did you get here?

Well, the sky,

she turned black,

and the ground,

she disappeared.

Then there was soap and

brushes and bubbles,

and then, we are here.

And where exactly is "here"?

The headquarters

of the brotherhood

of underground

resistance personnel.

- Burp.

- Excuse you.

- I'm sorry?

- It's their name, miss much.

B-u-r-p. Burp.

Yes, burp.

Our periscope spotted you

in a bit of bother up there,

so we thought you might

like to drop in.

- Thanks for that.

- Miss much:
Yes, thank you.

Oh, think nothing of it.

We've lots of animals

hiding here from the big dirts.

Perhaps I could

show you around.

- Who are burp?

- I've heard of them before.

They're a legendary group

of freedom fighters

who strike against

oppression, injustice,

and anyone who wants

to harm animals.

- They're bound to help us rescue Sonia.

- Brilliant!

They're all highly trained

professionals.

Ruthless and totally fearless.

Oh!

- What is it?

- It's all right.

It was just my shadow.

Gets me every time.

I never really fully

got used to it.

Sorry.

"Totally fearless." Huh!

Airplanes. I know those.

Hammy:
Look!

It's amazing!

Betty:
It's so colorful.

Miss much:
He needs a duster.

Wow! Look at

all this equipment.

Roderick:
Looks like they're

gettin' ready for a war.

They don't keep it very clean.

Look! The w.M.D. Factory.

Indeed, yes.

That's our eventual target.

We're planning to attack it

to stop them

destroying the countryside.

- Great.

- Yeah.

When's that happening?

There's a lot of details

still to be worked out.

Anyway, let me show you

the entertainment area.

This way! Oh, no.

No, sorry. This way.

No, actually, no.

I was right. This way.

It was right the first time.

No. Actually, no.

It is this way.

What an extraordinary place.

- Betty:
A party!

- Don't get too close, Betty.

They may not be our sort.

Do you have a lot of parties?

Pretty much all the time.

We of the underground

movement must keep up morale

in case we ever

decide to do something.

One day, we will pounce,

and make those fat cats pay for

the damage they've caused.

What stopped you?

Oh, you can't hurry

into these things.

How long have you not been

hurrying into these things?

- Three years.

- That's terrible.

Is it? Oh, dear,

I thought it might be.

But our homemade ginger beer

is the talk of the riverbank.

You must try some.

Time for a little live entertainment.

Oh, no.

Is this thing on?

Okay, good evening.

My name is hind legs.

Um... okay.

My mother asked me how long

I was gonna be on this tour.

I said, the whole time.

Oh, dear, he's lost them.

Boy, tough crowd.

Okay, this reminds me

of a time when, uh...

Boy, it's hard to see...

Sonia?

... That's not screamin'

it's hard to breathe

when you're drowning

in what you're feeling

we have to save her if

it's the last thing we do.

Last thing? Oh, dear.

It's exactly that kind of talk

that stops us doing anything.

We mustn't be too hasty now.

I don't care how ferocious

the ferrets are.

- We've got to beat the fat cats.

- Good for you, brave hammy.

I suppose we could all

have another vote on it.

To be quite honest with you,

I very much doubt that

any decision will be made.

So we'll do it

without your help,

- your chicken-ness.

- Hind legs:
I'm in.

It might surprise you folks,

but before

my career in show biz,

I was a marine,

sergeant first class,

- special rodent squad.

- Well done, that American.

What would you suggest

as a starting point?

Well, in any

military operation,

you need soldiers,

equipment, and a plan.

We've got soldiers. All of us.

- Right.

- And I'll handle the plan.

So what about the equipment?

Oh. Oh, you're all

looking at me.

Hello.

Um... well, we do

have a few things

I suppose you could borrow.

So a period of intense

training and preparation began.

The animals worked

themselves into

the peak of physical condition.

The air attack was readied.

Pieces of equipment

were clicked into each other

with satisfying clunk noises.

Meaningful looks

were exchanged,

and nets were crawled under

for no obvious reason.

Come on now. Come on.

Come on! Come on,

you can do it!

Stirring music was played

at every opportunity,

and yet more meaningful

looks were exchanged.

Never in the field

of animal conflict

was so much

to be attempted by so few

with so little chance

of success.

But even so,

nothing was going to make

our brave band

give up trying.

Hind legs:
We're ready as

we're ever gonna be.

We're going in at first light.

Does it have to be first light?

I'm not at my best

in the morning.

Uh... ah.

First light it is then.

Sorry.

This is the w.M.D. Fact...

as I was saying,

this is the w.M.D. Factory.

When they're just making waffles,

marmalade and doughnuts,

the waste pollution is kept

within acceptable safety limits.

But when turned into

a money-making machine,

it pollutes

the air and the river

with deadly poison...

The big dirt.

Worm reconnaissance

tells us that.

Sonia is being held

prisoner here in a cage

over a pit of

red-hot molten marmalade.

- Help!

- There she is.

- Sonia!

- Help.

I'll have

those little bleeders.

That's no way to treat a lady.

Poor Sonia.

Now here is the enemy.

This is what we're facing.

The fat cats.

The fat cats are protected

night and day

by an army of

ferocious ferrets.

They have built

underwater defenses here

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