Tall Men Page #2

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i promise.

How long do you think

that'll be?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm sorry.

What're you gonna do, right?

Yeah, it's done.

I'm so sorry, Terrence.

I'll look around.

I'm sure somebody's hiring.

I'll find you something.

I appreciate that.

Tell you what,

how 'bout

Lucy and I come by

on Saturday.

I'll even bring

my cribbage board.

Sure.

That will be swell, guys.

Holy mother of Mary.

Thank you for calling

the card.

- How can I help you?

- Yes, yes, hello.

I have a little problem

with the bill you've sent me.

Sorry to hear that, sir.

Can I have your

customer number?

Yes, you can.

I am customer 1-5-2.

One moment please.

Hello, customer 1-5-2.

I understand you're having

a billing problem.

I'm the billing director.

How may I help you?

Yes. I hope you can.

As I was telling

the lady before,

the bill

you guys have sent me

is incorrect.

Oh? And how is that, sir?

You see,

it says that I owe you

$30,000 here.

$30,358.51 to be exact.

Yes, yes,

but that's not the problem.

The problem

is that I don't owe you

that much money.

And how is that, sir?

You see,

i did purchase a vehicle

at $6,000,

but that is the only thing

that I've purchased so far.

Yes.

Okay, I've done

the math on this

and according

to my calculations

at $6,000 with

a 4% interest rate,

I owe you $6,020.

That's equal out

to a monthly balance

of $120.40.

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, customer 152,

i am so sorry.

I know what

the problem is now.

As a matter of fact,

we've had similar problems

with other customers

on this matter.

Thank you.

That is a relief.

Would you guys

want to go ahead

and send me a new bill?

That is the correct bill, sir.

$30,358.51.

You just told me

that you see the problem.

The problem is, sir,

that you failed

to understand

the 4% is a daily rate

compounded daily,

not a monthly rate.

Plus there's

a transaction fee of 50%

of each total purchase.

What?

Yes, sir.

But that's crazy.

You guys can't do that.

It was explained in full detail

in your welcome letter

that came with your card.

You didn't

read the welcome letter,

did you, sir?

Another thing

that was explained

in the letter

is that there

are no minimum payments.

All payments

are made in full

at the end of each month.

But that's Saturday.

You don't expect me

to pay that all at once.

You have 48 hours to comply.

Thanks for calling the card.

Have a nice day.

Yes, hello.

I'd like to report

an intruder.

An intruder.

Terrence mackleby?

Yes.

I'm detective towner.

This is detective knotts.

Did you report a

4-15 here this morning?

A 4-15?

Uh, yes, I think so.

-Can we come in?

- Oh, oh, yes, please.

So the intruder was standing

at the foot of the bed?

Yes.

Can you describe him for us?

He was tall.

Uh, how tall?

I couldn't really

tell you exactly,

because I was lying down.

I can tell you that he almost

touched the ceiling.

He was very tall.

Did he say anything to you?

No, he didn't say a thing.

He just turned around

and walked away.

-How did he leave the house?

-The front door.

Did you see him leave

through the front door?

No, but I think I heard him.

How do you know

he left through the front door

if you didn't see him

leave through the front door?

I think he left

through the front door.

I'm gonna go

look around outside.

I call her Wanda.

I painted her

about two years ago.

I was having

a couple of problems.

I know she's kind of morbid,

but I keep her up there to--

to remind me

to take my medication.

Knotts, come in.

Yeah.

I think I found something.

Roger.

What do you think, dick?

Size 16?

Probably 18.

Based on the density

of the soil

and depth of the print,

I'd say he's seven feet tall,

maybe 320.

Probably 340.

That's a big fella.

Well...

Mr. mackleby,

we checked the whole house

and there are no signs

of forced entry.

Are you sure

you locked all the doors

last night

before going to bed?

A hundred percent.

You don't have any friends

who may have a key,

maybe thought

it'd be funny

to give you

some sort of scare?

No, no.

I only have one key.

I can't even imagine

anybody I know

wanting to do that to me.

People do strange things,

Mr. mackleby.

Did you hear that?

Hear what, Mr. mackleby?

You didn't hear that?

I didn't hear anything.

You hear anything, dick?

Nope.

In the meantime,

keep all your

doors and windows locked.

This is my personal number.

Feel free to call me

if anything comes up.

I will, believe you me.

Good day, Mr. mackleby.

No refunds!

No refunds. Hah-haha!

It's just that

there's this one--

unh-uh! No refunds.

Is it a lemon?

Well, no, it's--

no refunds.

It's just that--

sorry.

I can't hear you.

- Just--

- bye.

Hello?

Hello, customer 152.

How are you this morning?

Mother's milk!

Now really isn't a good time.

I have to call the police.

My car's just been stolen.

Oh, no, customer 152.

It hasn't been stolen.

Your car

has been repossessed.

What? You took my car?

-Yes, sir.

-You can't do that.

Of course we can.

If you purchased an item

with your card, sir,

and do not pay your debt,

we're entitled

to full possession of

the item or items.

That is according

to the agreement

in column two, line five

in the application

you signed.

Of course,

you probably didn't

read that either,

did you, customer 152?

That's ridiculous.

How do you expect people to pay

with that kind of interest?

You have until 6:30 P.M. tonight

to make your payment, sir.

I don't owe you a thing.

You took my car.

We're square.

Oh, on the contrary,

customer 152.

You still owe us the interest

and transaction fee.

That would be

$24,358.51.

I can't pay that.

Even if I could,

how would you

expect me to get that kind

of money to you by 6:30?

Well, one of the many

benefits of being

a lucky member of the card

is that we provide collectors

to come to your home

to receive payment.

What're you guys?

- A bunch of loan sharks?

- No, sir.

We're just hardworking

Republicans

trying to make a difference.

Thank you, customer 152,

and have a nice day.

Hi, Terrence.

Did you have a nice nap?

I brought you a monkey lamp.

What's with the 1-5-2?

That's my customer number.

What're you going to do?

I don't know.

I know I can't pay it.

Just claim bankruptcy again.

If you claim bankruptcy,

you have to wait

another seven years

before you can claim it again.

Did you bring

your cribbage board?

No. Funny thing about that

is Princess over here

comes by the bus

in a tizzle

says we gotta get

to the store

before it's closed.

Wants to get you

a monkey lamp.

- That's why I forgot it.

- I told you, Lee,

that we needed

to get to the store

because it was important

that we get something nice

for Terrence.

I wanted to get

something nice for you

to cheer you up, Terrence.

Losing a job

can be devastating.

I like monkeys.

I like monkeys, too.

We can just play cribbage

another time.

It's not a big deal.

I think I want a pb&j.

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