Tallulah Page #3

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- Maybe.

- Because it was wet.

Sorry.

[Margo] Don't you have one?

Why? Is that gross?

Yes!

Is she all right sleeping there?

Yeah.

Her breathing is so fast.

Is that bad?

No.

Isn't she just the coolest,

weirdest little thing you've ever seen?

Yes.

She's just so little.

She's got those, like,

tiny little toenails,

it just blows my mind.

Then they grow up and hate you,

and it really blows your mind.

Yeah.

Well, good night.

[Tallulah] Good night, Mommy.

Don't use my toothbrush again.

[juicer whirring]

Oh!

What are you doing?

Juicing!

Where did you find that juicer?

Oh, up in the cabinet, still in the box.

Please stop that noise.

Dude.

The guy at the bodega

sold me 16 for a dollar.

They were four for a dollar,

but I talked him down,

or we talked him down, that's right.

I'm gonna make a lemonade

stand on the back of Jim.

- Jim?

- Yeah, it's my van.

Dude, freshly squeezed lemonade.

Are you kidding me? I'm gonna kill.

No, stop that sound. Tallulah, stop it.

[Tallulah] Oh, sh*t.

[sighs]

Has she eaten?

- Not really.

- All right, I think I...

Oh, God, got some cereal or something.

[Margo] Here you go.

No milk or anything, huh? Just like that?

Are you breast-feeding?

She has a bottle.

Why don't you make her one?

And she needs a change of clothes.

Where are her things?

Stolen.

Some a**hole broke into my van,

stole my suitcase.

I got some stuff in the stroller, but...

- Does she have a toy?

- I mean, a couple.

But she doesn't like toys.

She likes things like shoes, pans and

stuff like this.

Do you know what I mean?

Do you have any sugar?

Lemonade! Fresh-squeezed lemonade!

Who wants some lemonade?

You want lemonade?

I know you want lemonade.

Come on, it's organic.

It's organic. You sir, you want some.

You need it. Hydration is important.

Looking at your skin, you need it.

Lemonade, do you want lemonade?

Discount, I'll give you a discount.

You'll enjoy it. Yes. Yes.

[baby whimpers]

You cannot do this here.

Oh, really? Well, what's this?

As if the neighbors don't have enough

to talk about.

Get in the apartment,

this is embarrassing.

No one's even watching, who cares?

Cool down.

The doorman is staring.

The doorman is staring

because he's thirsty.

Lu, no.

It's hot out, dude.

Here, Manny! Enjoy.

Oh, my God.

[horn blares]

Hold on, it's coming up.

I've got the little girl exiting.

- There you go.

- Stop, stop.

Turn around, turn around.

Thank you.

That's her, that's her.

Oh, damn it.

- [Tallulah] Can I do anything?

- No.

I'm fine, just...

stop watching me.

[Tallulah] Do you always get

this stressed out when you cook?

Well, I don't usually have an audience.

Do you have a turtle or frog or something?

- No.

- Just a tank?

It died, years ago.

I don't know why I still keep it.

Oh! Oh!

Here, let me help.

Were you raised by wolves?

I wish.

Okay, stop. Get out of the kitchen.

Take her, and wash your hands

while you're at it.

[mouth full] Okay. Come on, munchkin.

Chicken's dry.

At least it's not dirty like the broccoli.

You might want to cut that up for her.

Hmm.

Those books have your name on them.

I wrote them.

What are they about?

The family unit,

from a historical perspective.

My last book was about cultural shifts

in the perception of marriage.

It's f***ed up.

Yes, in a nutshell.

Is that how you afford all this?

All this?

Well, the furniture

and the fancy paintings and...

Hmm. Most of it's my husband's.

The fancy paintings are his.

Why didn't you change it?

I can't. This is faculty housing.

No one can know he's not here.

Come on. Are they really checking?

It would drive me crazy,

living with someone else's stuff.

I mean, it's one thing

if it's your own shitty art.

You're very rude.

[sighs] I'll stop talking.

I hate the paintings.

Happy?

[distant siren]

[buzzer]

[engine revs]

F***!

[knocking]

[Margo] Were you leaving?

I'm not used to sleeping in a bed.

I'm comfortable in the van.

It's not safe to leave a baby alone.

Didn't anyone tell you?

I'm figuring out this whole "mommy" thing

on my own.

- You have no idea what you're doing.

- I know.

I cannot believe this kid

has made it this far.

I have half a mind to call Child Services.

Well, f***!

I've never done this before, okay?

You ask about these things, Tallulah.

No one knows how to do it, but you ask.

Well, I've never had anyone to ask.

[children laughing]

[whistling]

[whistling]

Well, don't eat the grass.

Don't eat the grass.

I guess I shouldn't knock it

before I try it.

It's not good.

Don't do it.

What's your plan, Lu?

Lie in the grass?

I mean, with your life.

Did you have a plan?

Yes, of course I did.

And what was that?

Well, I suppose it changed.

I was finishing my thesis

when I got pregnant.

All of our friends were these

hyper-academic, ambitious people

and Stephen was right there

at the center of it all.

I suppose it wasn't cool to admit it,

because it was painfully conventional,

but I really just wanted to be married,

and to have a family.

My plan was to be a mom.

How did that work out?

I guess it didn't. They both left me.

[Tallulah] You're naive,

that's your problem.

[Margo] Don't say that. I hate that word.

Your plan depended on other people.

People suck, and they'll

disappoint you every time.

That is no way to live.

Look, I'm not saying

that we should go around,

dicking each other over

all the time, but...

like, look...

When I was six,

my mom took me

to this weird apartment building,

and she sat me up on the stoop,

and told me to wait.

And she was just gonna go run

some errands,

and come back.

And, um...

I sat there for hours,

and it got really cold,

and then, this old Buick pulls up

and this tall skinny guy gets out.

A guy I'd never even seen before,

and he was like, "Hey, I'm your dad

and you're gonna come home with me."

Um... and then I never... I...

I never saw her again.

But I wouldn't have cared

if I hadn't needed her.

So...

I just think it's better to not be needed.

She needs you.

She doesn't know any better!

You cannot keep living

in your van, it's dangerous.

- You live alone.

- It's not the same!

You're out on the street,

you could be robbed or attacked!

You could slip in the shower,

choke on an egg roll or something.

Who would find you?

No one. For days!

My cleaning lady

would have a horrible surprise.

Yes! That poor woman!

- Yeah.

- Don't do that to someone.

Thank God there's gravity, right?

What do you mean?

Hmm, like just sticking us

here on the ground.

Like some magnet at the center

of the earth and the lava,

just keeping us stuck.

It's not a magnet.

What if it stopped, you know?

Or what if it stopped

just right in the spot where I was?

I feel like that could happen.

And if there wasn't anything

keeping me here anymore

and I just floated off the planet...

I guess I'd grab a tree

or branch or something

to stay connected to the earth.

You know, so I wouldn't go floating

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