Tape 407 Page #2

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and Iraq?

They are not beautiful places.

They are...

actually, parts of them are.

Now, the parts I saw were not

particularly beautiful,

at least when I was there,

but, yeah,

that's where I've been.

That's cool.

So you've seen like, houses

blow up and gunshots and stuff?

Trish, he probably

doesn't want to talk about that.

Nah, it's fine.

Yes, I have.

I've seen some ugly, ugly stuff.

But I'm going

to do something different now.

Like what?

Uh, something a bit

more peaceful.

Like?

Like, well, ironically,

traffic.

Traffic?

That's boring.

Compared to watching

houses blow up.

Perhaps, perhaps,

but self-preservation...

...is an instinct

that I possess, so...

Yeah.

I agree with you on that one.

I don't think I could watch

people getting...

Besides, have you been stuck

in traffic in L. A?

It's not quite so peaceful.

Oh, I know.

We're stuck in it every day.

- Exactly.

- For hours and hours.

You could do it on,

like, road rage.

[Laughs]

I could do it on road rage.

Why not? Why not?

- That'd be cool.

- Yeah.

Well, that's...

Is that a shot against me

or something, Trish?

- Yeah.

- Really?

- It is. Mm-hmm.

- I'm a good driver.

I don't...

I don't get mad.

Well, what's your story?

What's your story?

Well, we are coming back home

from our Christmas vacation,

so we're going home to L.A.,

and she has

to get back to school.

Yeah, sad.

And I'm a photographer,

or, like, I'm trying to be one.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I just kind of started.

Is she messing with me?

No, I'm serious.

She really is.

- No, for real, for real.

- Oh, that's great.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- So...

- Hobby?

You want to make

a career of it, what?

Career.

Yeah, I just finished school,

so now it's time to...

...get on it.

Okay.

She takes pictures

of everything.

Well, that's... you should

take pictures of everything.

- Thank you.

- It's important.

You got to keep

that camera going.

Yes, I do.

Um, uh, do you wanna

tag along, this thing,

I have

one assistant, but, uh,

you're welcome

to tag along, observe.

- Really?

- Sure.

Can I come too?

Oh, my God,

thank you so much.

Um, you're welcome,

and, yes, you may come,

but only if you don't say

a single word the whole time.

Ha... she can't come.

Not one single word?

Not a single word.

- That's impossible.

- No, see, you already failed.

- Hey...

- Ah!

It doesn't count!

Ah! Ah!

No, I'm kidding.

You can say...

we'll say six words.

You can say six.

Fine.

- That was one.

- If I can come.

Two, three.

"If I can come..."

No, she can actually say

"six words," those two words.

She can say "six words."

Oh, "six words."

Gotcha, that's it.

You're gonna fail.

Whatever.

Can I give you

my information?

Please do.

You guys wanna play around

with this little gadget?

Yes.

Can I please use it?

No.

She has a track record

for breaking things.

Be careful.

I promise,

I won't break it.

If you do, I will break

your legs.

- Really?

- No.

Good, 'cause I like my legs.

I know. I'm kidding.

I'll break your arms.

Um, I'm kidding.

[Laughs]

Play around with it.

I'll show you

how to use it later.

- Okay.

- Okay?

- Sorry we've been

kind of ignoring you, ma'am.

That's all right.

So do you fly often?

I do, yeah.

I fly a lot.

Do you like it?

Yeah, I do like it.

It can get a bit tiring

sometimes, but, um...

Yeah, I like it.

Do you like it?

Yes, I love flying.

- Do you?

- Mm-hmm.

- Good.

- Yeah.

Do you fly a lot?

Yeah, my sister and I,

we go all over the world.

- Really?

- Mm-hmm.

Good evening, passengers,

this is your captain speaking.

As we're about ten minutes out

from New Year's Eve,

we'd like to invite

all the passengers...

...who are interested

to join us in a celebration.

Please accept a small token

of our appreciation...

...and have a glass of champagne

and join us in a toast.

Also, the flight attendant will

be handing out party favors...

Sweet, I totally want

one of those sparkly hats.

There are sparkly hats?

Yeah.

Noisemaker?

Yes, sir?

- What time is it?

- It's almost midnight.

We're going to do a New Year's...

New Year's countdown.

Is he still angry?

Yes, the angry

bald guy.

Angry drunk bald guy.

- There you are.

- Thank you.

Absolutely.

Sir, noisemaker?

There you go.

Thank you.

Hi, noisemaker, beads?

Can I have a hat, please?

Yes, you may have a hat.

Oh, I hope she doesn't

take all of them.

There you go.

Happy New Year.

Hi, noisemaker, beads?

Don't take a hat,

Don't take a hat.

Happy New Year.

Sir, noisemaker, hat?

Uh, I think I'll...

can I get one of your beads?

One of your necklaces,

little Mardi Gras.

- Oh, yes, absolutely.

- Thank you.

- Happy New Year.

- You too.

Hello, would you like

a noisemaker, hat, beads?

Um, please,

a sparkly hat.

A sparkly hat.

Yes.

Here you go.

And can I have

a blue noisemaker?

A blue noisemaker...

there you go.

- Thank you.

- And you?

Can I have a noisemaker

and beads, please?

Noisemaker and beads,

absolutely.

Do you want

to pick a color?

Sure, uh, I'll take red,

thank you.

There you go.

Happy New Year.

Oh, you too.

Are we going to have

a countdown soon?

Um, the countdown should be

in about ten minutes.

Cool.

Noisemaker, beads?

- Noisemaker.

- Noisemaker.

Of course.

There you go.

All:
Seven, six,

five, four, three, two, one!

Happy New Year!

[Noisemakers honk, people cheer]

[Auld Lang Syne playing

over P.A.]

[Noisemaker honks]

Happy New Year!

Thank you, Sis!

Whoo!

Eww, gross.

[Lips smacking]

- Happy New Year.

- Happy New Year!

You too.

Nice banana!

[Laughing]

Wow.

[Noisemakers honking]

Yikes.

[Noisemakers honking]

Thanks, cool.

Happy New Year.

You've had some drinks,

so you're happy now.

[Rattling, rumbling]

Thank you. Whoa!

[Bell dinging]

Holy smokes.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we are experiencing

some turbulence.

The seatbelt lights have been

turned on, and we ask...

Trish! Sit down.

Hang on.

We should be through it

in just a few minutes.

- Thank you.

- Trish.

Sorry, excuse us.

[Grunts]

- Trish!

[Rumbling, clattering]

Come sit down!

[Auld Lang Syne resumes]

[Bell dings]

- Ow.

- Hello.

Buckle up.

Put your seatbelt on, okay?

- Listen to me right now.

- Okay.

- Okay, is it on?

- Yes.

Okay, good, now hold...

Everybody stay calm.

Just make sure

your seatbelts are buckled...

...and that your seats

are forward.

[All screaming]

- Jessie!

- Please stay calm.

Make sure your seatbelts are on.

It is turbulence.

Yes, sir?

My wife, she just

went to the restroom...

Absolutely, sir,

I just need to finish...

...the check of the plane.

[All screaming]

Please remain calm.

It is just turbulence.

Just stay in your seats...

...and make sure that

your seatbelts are buckled.

Please make sure

that your seatbelts are on.

You buckled?

[Rumbling, screaming]

[Retching]

# #

Trish, I'm really scared.

I know. Me too.

[Creaking, rumbling]

Bang!

[All screaming]

Should the cabin experience

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