Taxi

-How'd I do?

-4:
32. Incredible!

One last record

before I leave!

Keep the stopwatch

I don't need it anymore.

Speech! Speech!

Where is my little Daniel?

Like you all know

Daniel resigned last night

He's leaving the 2 wheelers

for the 4 wheelers

Thus reversing the path of human evolution

that started on all fours,...

...and finishes on 2 wheels!

I want him to know

he was the best of all of us,...

...and most of all,

a very good friend.

You're going be missed by all of us you know.

Excuse me Lily, was that a kiss?

or did your lips just slip?

It's not that I didn't like it

but I don't know what to think...

Is it clearer now?

Yep.

They slipped again,

You must be really clumsy.

And now to celebrate

Daniel's departure,...

...I announce the big parade!

Open your eyes wide, Lily,

because you won't see again in your lifetime.

-How many are there?

-A lot.

Here are the best.

Go for it!

Holy sh*t!

Excellent!

-A little party?

-Are they from the pizzeria?

-Bacon pizzas. -Excuse us but

we would like to see your papers.

I'm sorry we left them inside

if you want we can go and get them now.

-Ok but make it fast. -No problem,

Thanks. lets run!.

It must have been 5 minutes now.

-Be careful - there could be some oil.

-Oil?

Yeah, it's my flat

but it's also kind of a Garage.

I hope that...

Hmm, its ...special.

-Daniel.

-Yes?

It's been 2 years

since we met each other.

Why did you wait until the day you leave

to show me your flat?

-I'm really bad at decision making.

-And what made you decide?

Your cleavage.

It's nice, heh?

The dress is brand new.

Ok then

we will try not to damage it.

Are you sure it's okay

after years just as friends?

We prepared the terrain well,

it's time to build on it.

-Maybe we could wait a little bit longer.

-No, if we wait longer,..

...you'll just get frustrated

and I don't want to be impolite.

-Oh, no.

-What?

-It's 6 o'clock.

-But it's Saturday.

-Yes, but I must go to work.

-What?

You just stopped working last night,

you didn't find a job during the night?

No, it's for my future job...

...an appointment I booked

a long time ago.

But you waited for our "appointment"

for a long time.

Yes, a long time plus an hour.

And when I say 1 hour, that's a maximum.

Hey, blue boy, you take a number over there.

Don't forget your photos next time.

-How long have you been a driver?

-25 years yesterday.

I'm retired since this morning.

It's the first morning I can relax

and read the newspaper in 25 years.

Ah I see.

Wake up number 247!

I am here!

Your form, 2 pictures...

sign here... and here.

Profesional Licence,

circulation certificate,...

...aquisition authourisation ,

the notebook, the plate and the sign.

-That's all?

-Yes.

-Nothing more after 6 years?

-You want me to sing "la Marseilleise"?

No, but a smile would have been nice.

Lily!

It's 12:
00, I went

to buy croissants...

...and, meanwhile, I married

the baker.

Goodbye and farewell.

Congratulations, Mr. Daniel.

You're welcome.

Yes, we insist.

Ok then...

-Hi, Daniel!

-Hey, Paulo!

-You're working in tourism now?

-Yes.

Your party was great

we drank like hell.

-Yep, it was great.

But your bike sounds weird. Is it ok?

Isn't there a strange noise?

Does it work well?

Well?

I use super-unleaded.

I just ran from 2 cops, you should have seen that.

Ok I'll tell you, 2 police

on bikes on the Avenue.

Before they were in first gear,

I had made it to the beach.

They were furious.

I hit full speed and left them

standing. They couldn't believe it.

They won't forget

Paulo that easily.

They didn't forget you Paulo.

Hey girls!

still wearing the moustaches?

Go, Paulo.

Hey girls - going to the beach?

It's a free ride today.

You will love it.

Want to come?

Hey are you a "taxi",

or a nice taxi?

The driver

is super nice.

He opens the door, doesn't make you car-sick,

Doesn't speak unless spoken to.

-and he carries your bags if asked nicely.

-Thank you, perfect.

And where are we going Miss?

You see the pink house over there,

with a big door?

-Yes, I see it.

-That's where we are going.

Do you prefer any route

in particular?

Put all that in the kitchen,

I'll organise it later.

-You have enough food for a week here.

-Oh no, my son is coming for lunch.

-All that for one meal ?

-No. On Sunday he prepares...

...all his meals

for the week.

His flat is so small

there is no kitchen.

and he's unable to cook

even an egg.

Look.

that's him in the picture.

He's a computer programmer.

He works at IBM.

-Everybody has their thing.

-And you. What is your "thing"?

I love driving, but

you probably didn't have time to see it!

My son's taking his driving

test for the 8th time.

At the end of the street,

we are going to take the first...

on... on ...on?

On the left,

Mr. Carbadec.

On the left, on the left!

On the left! Are you crazy? We are going to crash!

Holy sh*t!

In the 10 years I've worked here

I've never met such a complete idiot!

Can't you distingish right from left?

-Yes but you needed to tell me earlier.

-Maybe I should have sent a fax?

LEFT LEFT! It's not so difficult Man!

You turn a steering wheel and press a pedal!

I'm only doing my duty.

-And what is your duty?

Who the hell would hire a moron like you?

A circus; a zoo; BT or what?

Umm, a little bit of each...

"POLICE"

Ah you should have said it earlier.

Should I have sent a fax?

Excuse me.

Can I offer you something Mr.Inspector?

Thank you it's superb.

Thank you. You are so nice,

I'll keep your card.

I don't want to be rude but

I need to go work.

Is it ok if I eat in the Taxi?.

Sure go ahead,

go to work!

Can you save my life?

Basically, no.

Ok...it depends on your symptoms.

I have a flight in 25 minutes.

If I miss it I'm a dead man.

If I catch it,

you are a rich man.

Humm... you are lucky man...

I'm no doctor but,...

...I really like emergencies.

Buckle up please!.

Maybe we should go now.

Let's party!

A white taxi

doing incredible speed!

Screwed my radar!

We'll take care of it. Got his number?

No; didn't have time. It was too fast.

Keep your eyes open!

That's your job!

Do you think we are going to make it

on time?

If we're going to miss it maybe

we should take our time.

It will be ok, we are going slowly now,

but on the motorway we can get up some speed.

Ah I see, I see.

Don't take risks for me

I don't want you to lose your licence.

No problem,

I don't have a licence.

Oh fantastic.

Leaves you time to read the paper and

maybe a have a coffee. Have a good trip sir.

Thank you.

I don't understand.

On the computer I'm unbeatable.

First in Monaco,

Eight pole positions.

But on the streets

I'm a disaster.

Hey. How did you do?

Failed again.

No! You can't...

Champagne does get better with time...

...but this is almost

past it's sell-by date.

What happened?

Hit a butcher shop.

Makes a change from a paper stand.

You know what?

You should put a Mouse in your car,

instead of your steering wheel.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes