Teachers

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(TEACHER TEACHER PLAYING)

(STUDENTS CHA TTERING)

All right, all right. Get back now.

Get back. Get over there.

All right, hold on, you little animals.

I'm coming now.

It's cold out there, ain't it?

All right, come on.

Get through those doors.

Oh, come on. Move it. Move it.

Come on, get off it. Hey!

Danny, check this out, man. Piece of cake.

- MAN:
either one of these schools...

- Sit down.

...you can go to...

- GRACE:
Mr. Rubell!

- What happened?

- We've got another one.

Stab wound.

- Who stabbed you?

- I don't know.

Of course. Call an ambulance.

I don't want no ambulance.

It's not for you,

it's for the insurance company.

WOMAN:
Send an ambulance

to JFK, please.

Oh, would you call the nurse, please.

- MAN:
Mr. Rubell.

- Just a moment. I'll be right with you.

(PHONE RINGING)

Oh, Ms. Hammond,

what can I do for you today?

- Do you know that kid is bleeding?

- Yes, I do.

- Well. This is for you, Mr. Rubell.

- What's that?

It's a notice informing you

we'll be holding depositions here.

If your teachers can't remember

to bring their records with them,

we'll come to the records.

- We want to start tomorrow.

- Fine.

Is that student bleeding?

- Yes. We're taking care of it.

- Good. Good.

Oh, Principal Horn, this is Lisa Hammond

of Kemel, Keating and Hess,

attorneys at law.

How do you do?

Her firm is handling the Calvin case.

- What?

- John Calvin. Suing the school.

Oh, yes.

Well, Ms. Hammond,

I think you'll find that we're

trying to cooperate fully with you

in this matter.

Mr. Horn, our client is suing the school

because he graduated

but he can't read or write.

I should think all of us would be

cooperating to help clear this up.

GRACE:
Mr. Rubell?

- Mr. Rubell!

- Yes.

We have at least 10% of our teachers

absent again today,

and we're having trouble finding subs.

Scrape the bottom of the barrel

if you have to, Grace, please.

- Mr. Rubell, I'm going to need...

- Is Jurel in yet?

On a Monday?

(RINGING)

(MAN SIGHING)

(RINGING CONTINUES)

Hello?

Mr. Jurel, Mrs. Wensel from Kennedy.

Are we coming in today?

Or are we taking another of our famous

three-day weekends?

No.

What time is it?

It is 7:
45,

We are already 10 minutes late, Mr, Jurel,

Well?

Well, what?

Are you going to teach today?

Yeah, I'll be in very soon.

Oh, why, thank you, Mr, Jurel,

It's so nice of you

to take into consideration

the trouble you cause

other people by your...,

I thought you said

you were an airline pilot?

I am.

Didn't I just hear that lady

say something about teaching?

Yeah, well, I gotta go teach a class

on cabin pressure.

Oh.

You know, oxygen masks. Things like that.

Do you want some coffee?

- Sure. You want some help?

- No. No.

Coffee's brown, right?

How do you like it? Black or burned?

Look, I'm really running late here.

Maybe I'd better skip the coffee.

Yeah, that'd be my move.

Yeah.

- Call me sometime.

- Yeah. Sure.

(GROANS)

LISA:
Mr. Rubell,

I have a list of the teachers

- that I would like to meet with tomorrow.

- Must have the time down.

- It's important that we start...

- Lee, would you do this for me, pal, please.

None of you seems to take this lawsuit

very seriously.

And you, Ms. Hammond,

take things too seriously.

That was your problem

when you were a student here.

- And it's your problem now.

- And you were a rotten English teacher.

I know.

Do you know that kid's bleeding?

You should report that.

- Well?

- Well, not to me. I'm here to give a lecture.

How thrilling. Auditorium across the hall.

You are always hogging that machine.

Of course.

Every day. Day in and day out

you are on that machine.

I have been trying to use that machine

for three weeks,

and every time I try, you're here.

Well, today is my day.

I want to use that machine.

I need that machine.

That machine needs me.

- I fail to see any reason for your...

- Oh, you fail to see?

You fail to see?

Can you see this? You son of a b*tch!

(PEOPLE EX CLAIMING)

- Oh, my God.

- Today is my day! My day!

- Ms. Bloom, in control.

- My day.

- You control yourself. This is a school.

- My day. My day.

Grace, hold up.

- Ms. Bloom! Ms. Bloom!

- My day! My day!

Please control yourself. This is a school.

Ms. Bloom!

- Ms. Bloom, please, control yourself.

- WOMAN:
Put her on the floor.

Ms. Bloom, stop it.

- Nurse!

- Come on, now. Nurse, help, help.

(ALL CLAMORING)

Ms. Bloom, calm down.

Who is that?

School psychologist.

Must apologize for the heat.

This hallway is the warmest part

of the whole building.

Most of the tenants just

leave their doors open,

so you can get the heat.

We're a real friendly building here,

you know.

Are you sure he's safe? I mean,

he isn't dangerous or anything, is he?

No. I assure you,

there will be no problems with Mr. Gower.

He's completely harmless.

He merely has a few problems with reality,

that's all.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Oh, this place would be just

marvelous for Herbert.

It's only four blocks from the hospital.

Yeah, well, the apartment's upstairs.

(MAN SINGING)

(SHOWER RUNNING)

- Yes?

- (SIGHS) Hello, Mr. Stuart Van Ark?

Yes.

Mr. Van Ark, this is Mrs. Wensel

from Kennedy High.

We want you to come in

and substitute one of our history classes,

It may be for several days,

Can you make it?

Yes.

She poured ink, ink, all over Ditto.

Oh, God, I'd have given anything

to have been there to see that.

Can you just imagine his face?

(GIGGLES)

I tell you, Alex, it's never dull

around here on Mondays.

- Oh, you ought to...

- Excuse me?

Could you tell me

where I might find room 127?

Yup. Just go back, go down the steps,

turn right and it's right around the corner.

- Thank you very much.

- Yeah.

(BELL RINGING)

Well, back to the trenches.

My God, it's a stampede.

Where are you going?

I thought you didn't like school!

MAN:
Move it! Now!

(STUDENTS CHATTERING)

Hey, Timmy, if you're not running

for President, sit down.

All right, will you?

All right. If you're not here, speak up.

(ALL LAUGHING)

All right, boys and girls!

Ladies and gentlemen.

Today we're gonna delve

into the fascinating world

of radiator repair.

Oh, we're supposed to be learning about

social studies, not radiators.

Learning is limitless, Tim.

(BELL RINGING)

Hold it down, please.

Hold it down.

Paller?

- Paller?

- Here!

Look, just raise your hand.

That's all I need.

Please, can you keep it down? Please!

Frame? Please. Not those pants.

Not again. All right.

Hold it down. Please, please. Hold it down.

Henson? Henson? How are you, Henson?

- Pretty good.

- Good to see you.

- Alvado?

- Alvedo!

What?

Yesterday you said it was Alvado.

No, I didn't, Mr. Rosenberg.

Yes, you did.

And the day before it was Alverus.

No, I didn't!

You're trying to get me into trouble, man.

(ALL LAUGHING)

What's so funny?

I don't find anything funny.

Aren't you going to take attendance?

Attendance?

Oh, yes.

Sarah, I asked for a wrench,

not a screwdriver.

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