Teaching Mrs. Tingle Page #2

You, however, should consult your dictionary.

Of course, I wasn't suggesting that it was

irony is the opposite of what is

or might be expected.

For example, if Miss Watson...

was expecting an A on her history project,

she might find the actual

result to be... rather ironic.

I pray your Salem witch...

escaped such literary infractions.

Please, sit down.

Miss Tucker?

You're number two. By one point.

Pity.

I know how much you were counting

on being valedictorian.

I'm really sorry, Leigh Ann.

And I take it you're number one?

Only by a smidge.

But who knows? Maybe you'll get an

A on that history project...

and just turn everything around.

Congratulations, Trudie.

Do you mean that? Thank you.

That is so sweet.

That's what's always impressed me

most you are so sweet.

And real.

I know things haven't been easy for

you and I love the way...

you're always able to rise above.

Thank you. It's so very evolved of you.

Sorry about that scholarship.

I hope you weren't counting on it. Oh, well.

Have a nice day.

I heard that. You can still get that scholarship.

How? You've got one week to take her down.

you're only behind by a point.

Study hard, and you can beat her easily.

You don't understand, Miss Gold.

History cost me big time.

Mrs. Tingle hates me.

Miss Tingle's a b*tch. She hates everyone.

She even hates me.

You can do this, I know you can.

I believe in you.

There's one week left, and

Trudie Tucker has built this

Leigh Ann. Trudie Tucker...

is a pale faced Harvard trust fund

twit whose good grades...

are a result of good ass kissing.

She doesn't need the scholarship. You do.

As Guidance Counselor, you've

been my pride and joy for four years.

You deserve it. You just gotta

believe in yourself, honey, that's all.

Thank you, Miss Gold.

I can't believe I'm doing extra credit.

You need it. You have one week to

bump B*tch Trudie from the throne.

You know, I don't really have

to be a writer. I mean

I could do something a little more practical.

Forget that.

You are going to be valedictorian.

You're going to get your scholarship.

You're going to go to college,

and you're going to pursue your dreams,

and I am going to see to it.

My last piece of business

before I freak to Hollywood.

I'm gonna miss you.

All right, come here, cheese ball,

and don't make me cry.

You know I'm easy.

Can we make this a three way?

What do you say?

Now, what are you two lovely ladies doing...

on this hard, wooden floor?

Seating arrangements for graduations.

You are going to graduate, aren't you?

Celebration's al ready begun. Get serious.

Be cool. That's a no no.

You want a beer? I have more.

What are you trying to do, get us expelled?

I'll have one.

Jo Lynn Okay

Now, why is it we never dated?

We did, almost, once.

We were this close to hooking up

at Mandy Kate's birthday party.

Sophomore year, when I was

still an A cup with braces.

It was kind of a disaster. That was you?

I thought that was somebody else.

And why is it we never dated?

Could you cut the alcohol?

You are so typical. Some of us

would like to graduate.

And some of us could help you do that.

What is this? Oh, just Tingle's final exam.

Where did you get that?

You're not the only brain around here.

We could get in serious trouble.

I made a copy of the original.

She'll never even know.

You sure it's authentic?

Tempting, isn't it? Sort of

brings up all those moral questions.

Slither away. Let's go.

Don't be so hasty, Leigh Ann.

You just think about it. I'll leave it right there.

What are you doing? You are such a loser.

Oh, really?

I think the race is still on

for that title, Miss Watson.

We were just

Doing seating arrangements for graduation.

Extra credit. Extra credit.

Has it come to that?

Actually, we were just

finishing up, right, Leigh Ann?

Right.

Take it easy, Miss Tingle.

Well, well, well.

Final exams aren't until next week, Miss Watson.

Look, Mrs. Tingle, it is not what you think.

Save it for Mr. Potter, dear.

Mrs. Tingle just let us explain, Mrs. Tingle.

The smartest girl in school caught cheating.

The irony of it all.

Sh*t! What's she gonna do?

She went to go turn us in.

Excuse me, Miss Banks.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Tingle.

What can I do for you?

I'm here to see Mr. Potter.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Potter isn't in.

Is there something I can help you with?

Yes.

You can tell him his dereliction

of duty does not go unnoticed,

and it is urgent that I speak

with him first thing in the morning.

Understand? Certainly, Mrs. Tingle.

Skank.

Leigh Hey, what's up?

Basically, we're screwed.

What happened? What'd she say to Potter?

No, he's gone for the night.

She won't do it until the morning.

Good. That gives us time. For what?

Counteract. Solution mode.

It's her word against ours. We're dead.

Wait, I know.

Luke and I will go to Tingle and just

explain that you weren't involved.

Yeah, I'll tell the b*tch the truth.

She won't believe you.

Yes, she will. She'll have to.

We'll just give her the facts.

No. it won't work. Look, face it.

We're going to be expelled.

No graduation, no nothing!

We'll just go to Tingle, okay? It's worth a shot.

This is such a bad idea.

We don't exactly have a lot

of choices here, Leigh Ann, okay?

Don't be so pessimistic.

Look at this place. It looks haunted.

You can't go to a teacher's house at night.

It's inappropriate.

This is never gonna work.

Yes, it will. Just follow me.

It's after dinner.

She's probably just had a feeding

and feeling a little giving.

Okay, who's gonna do the talking? I'll go.

No, Leigh, let me.

The innocent always look more

guilty when defending themselves.

I'll go. What are you gonna say?

The truth, of course.

Look, I'm gonna get you to college.

It's never gonna work.

What do you suggest, we kerosene the place?

All I'm saying is Tingle's not stupid.

Look, you wanna know why we never dated?

This, right here, shining example.

What?

Sit.

Mrs. Tingle, I...

I am so sorry to bother you at home,

bit it is urgent that I speak with you.

You see, there's been

a horrible misunderstanding,

and I'd just like the chance to explain.

Um, well

You see, Leigh Ann wasn't cheating.

I mean, come on.

We both know she would never do that,

and I'm sure you're probably wondering...

how the exam got in her bag,

'cause I know that's

what I'd be wondering if I were you,

and, um okay, uh

it was me.

There. I stole the exam.

Leigh Ann wasn't involved at all.

I mean, if anything,

she was just trying to talk me

out of it, because

Well, l guess things just haven't

been going too well for me lately.

My mom has been

very, very sick.

Well, we had to take her to the hospital ...

because she got this blood clot in her leg, and,

she's actually in intensive care

right now because the blood clot...

went up her leg and into her kidneys.

The doctors say it could be headed for her heart,

and...

maybe even her brain.

Well, they've been

watering down her blood, but...

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