Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Page #3

Well, when you put it like that,

it sounds ridiculous!

See, she's looking at us

like we're freaks.

I bet that's why you took

our picture, wasn't it?

To show your friends?

Bro, that's a good thing!

Maybe she has hot friends.

- Looking for this?

- Don't break it.

No, no, no. Please.

How many times do I have to tell you?

We don't break things, we fix them.

Donnie already wiped the phone, genius.

Problem solved, moving on.

- And who put you in charge?

- You know who did.

Ooh, tension!

It's been like 30 whole minutes

since you guys had this argument.

Leonardo, if we want to make it home

before Master, we gotta hustle.

Leonardo?

Do not say a word about this to anyone.

If you do, we will find you.

April O'Neil.

We're on the move, Raphael.

Raphael?

Yeah!

We'll find you, O'Neil.

I'm sorry, that came across

super creepy, okay?

We will find you, though.

I was on fire, bro!

Did you see me back there?

Guys, I totally talked to a girl!

Shut up, Mikey!

Yeah, bra!

Mikey, was that you?

Pepperoni.

Leonardo. I know those names.

I know those names.

Raphael, Raphael. Leonardo.

Good evening.

This is April O'Neil,

reporting live from my daddy's lab.

I know it sounds pretty boring,

but actually,

he does some pretty cool stuff.

Time to put the camera away, April.

Aw, Dad!

And now I will show you

something amazing.

It's supposed to be

from a different planet

- in outer space!

- Here we go.

Ah!

Mr. Sacks,

what sort of experiments

are you doing here?

Oh, that's

a very complicated question.

We're trying to change the world.

Look at the camera!

Hello, Splinter.

And these are

my little turtles, Leonardo,

Raphael,

Michelangelo and Donatello.

The fans want to see you!

I knew it.

The vigilante, I saw him.

I saw them! I saw them.

I've known them since I was a little girl.

They were my pets.

They were my childhood pets,

and they were named after

Italian Renaissance painters.

Mom, I want to move back home.

Is he here?

I don't see him.

Donnie?

My thermal scans indicate

there's a 74% variable

that there's a 61% chance he's not...

That he's not here, guys.

- That he's not here.

- Okay.

Fall in, quietly.

Dude.

So, guys, if it wasn't already

obvious with that girl,

dibs.

If Master Splinter catches us,

he'll send us back to the Ha'shi.

I ain't going back to the Ha'shi.

Every time we're in the Ha'shi,

it's because of you.

Well, bro, you won't have

to worry about me

dragging you down anymore.

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm going out on my own.

First chance I get.

How are we gonna finish our

hip-hop Christmas album, bro?

You're the hype man!

Shut up.

Shut up.

I got glop in my eye.

Shh! He's not going anywhere.

We all stick together.

Sorry I spit in your eye, bro.

- Shh!

- Guys? Guys.

We got a bogey.

Uh...

Where have you been?

We weren't...

I forgot to soak my retainer!

I'm totally sleepwalking!

Look, Mikey's sleeping and walking.

He's totally innocent.

Enough! You disobeyed a direct order.

Why did you go above ground?

What happened?

Very well.

If that's how it's going to be,

to the Ha'shi!

O'Neil! All right, what was

so important I had to get here?

- Okay. Are you ready?

- Yeah.

Okay.

You know how

- I saw the vigilante?

- Yeah.

But I had no photos

or evidence to show you,

so I just sounded crazy.

- Yes.

- Okay. But I saw him again.

Well, I didn't see him again,

I saw them, because there's four.

There's not just one, there's four.

And I was standing as close to them

as you are to me right now.

What'd they look like?

I'll show you.

What?

Like this.

Like turtles?

Well, they don't look like turtles

because they are turtles.

They're over six feet tall

and they speak English.

Oh, my God.

I was awake all night, please look,

I was awake all night

googling all of the thwarted crimes

over the past three months,

and this symbol

appeared at every single one.

Look! Every single one of them.

This one, look.

Here, here, here, here, here.

And it's an ancient Japanese symbol

that means "family."

Wait, it's on my laptop.

I can't believe

you brought me in to do this!

It's here, it's here.

This is my father's lab.

This is the same lab

where these things were born

or created or mutated.

Or, I don't know the terminology,

but will you please just look at what

I'm showing you and listen to me.

It's all connected.

The turtles are the vigilantes

and the vigilantes are these turtles.

Pizza has cheese,

tomato sauce, all your favorite stuff.

Eat it. You guys need nutrition. Or not.

I just want to be clear.

You are now telling me that there are

four six-foot talking turtles

walking around New York City,

and no one has seen them but you?

That's what I'm telling you.

I don't mean to laugh,

but is there anything else

we should know about them?

They're ninjas.

I'm sorry, what?

And they do karate.

Okay, get out.

O'Neil!

It could have been worse.

I just got fired, Vern.

How could it be worse?

Maybe it's good.

Maybe you should take a little time,

take care of yourself.

Come on, let me give you a ride.

Not unless you're going

to the Eric Sacks estate.

- April... Hey!

- I'm not giving up on this story.

You gotta put that to bed.

Would all of those other great reporters

that you worked with,

would they have "put it to bed"?

No. That's different.

How is it different?

They all started exactly

where I am, right?

I'm not driving the Channel 6 news van

onto the Sacks estate.

- Who asked you to do that?

- Uh, you did.

And a "thanks" would have been nice.

Maybe one day

you're gonna be thanking me.

So, what do you want with Eric Sacks?

My dad used to work for him.

He's the only person

that's gonna be able

to tell me whether or not I'm crazy.

Crazy about what?

I don't need you to laugh at me also.

Oh, come on, O'Neil.

This is the Fenwick Express,

it's a judgment-free zone.

A cocoon of safety.

Promise?

I'm insulted that

you would suggest otherwise.

Ooh, 11 hours in the Ha'shi.

Are you sure none of you want to tell me

where you were last night?

How you holding up, fellas?

Ah! I ain't breaking

if Donnie ain't breaking.

Experiencing intense nausea

but not breaking.

Guys? I'm in the zone!

There is literally nothing

that could break me right now!

Starting to break.

Of course, you've all tasted

the five-cheese pizza.

But this,

cheesemongers have speculated

of its existence for centuries.

Da Vinci's original masterpiece.

I submit to you...

...the 99-cheese pizza.

Oh!

It's not possible.

Mikey, it's a trap!

A pizza with that variety of cheese

is a culinary impossibility!

- Shall I list the ingredients?

- No.

Cheddar...

- Provolone...

- Mikey, don't you do it!

Asiago...

Keep it together!

Taleggio...

I don't even know what that is.

Mozzarella, of course.

All right, all right, all right!

We left the lair because the Foot

were taking hostages

and we kicked some serious butt,

and there was this girl

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