Teeth

Hey, Brad!

Don't splash your sister.

She ain't my sister!

Well, it's my sincere hope

that she will be.

No!

Hey, try to be friends, okay?

No, goddamn it!

- Hey!

- Bill.

Just...

cut him some slack.

Let's see yours now.

Kim.

Ow! Ow.

- Son?

- Ow!

What's wrong?

What happened?

Brad?

Bill, what is--

What is it?

Let me see.

Show your dad.

Let me see it.

Oh!

Oh, God.

Aw, that doesn't look good.

Dawn, honey, are you okay?

Dawn, you all right?

Dawn?

Dawn?

We have a gift...

a very precious gift.

And... what do you do with gifts?

Do you go around giving them

to everyone you pass on the street?

No!

No, those wouldn't be gifts.

They'd be, like, a handout.

So... what about

the most precious gift of all?

Are you gonna give that

to the first guy who buys you

a big bunch of roses?

No way!

No way?

And, um...

I'm not just talking to the, uh, girls.

You guys...

you have the same gift to give.

Are you gonna give that

to some girl

'cause she looks like

she just stepped out of a music video?

No.

No, you're gonna hold onto it

and share it with

the mother of your children.

Yeah, definitely.

I mean, that's

what the ring is all about.

The way it wraps around your finger,

that's to remind you

to keep your gift wrapped.

Wrapped...

until the day...

you trade it in for that other ring...

that gold ring.

Get it?

You were so good!

Because you know

this goes way beyond sex.

If you used your hand on yourself,

do you think that's pure?

No way!

And is any of this--

groping, touching-- okay?

- I missed you.

- I missed you!

This whole break, I've been calling--

That job that I have--

Ugh, mine too.

Who thinks that oral sex...?

And my-- my mom.

She's sick again, so, um...

You see,

there are no loopholes

with the Promise.

- I'm sorry, Dawn.

Yeah, sorry.

There is no back door.

Hey, guys.

- Hi, Tobey.

Oh, Tobey!

This is our friend, Dawn O'Keefe.

Tobey Cobb.

Tobey just moved here.

We were best friends back home.

He starts school with us tomorrow.

Hi.

Hey.

So, I hear there's gonna be

No way.

Phenomenal!

It's you, you know.

Oh, I don't know.

It is.

People really related

to what you said, but...

especially the way you said it.

# My heart, my heart #

# Bye-bye, bye-bye,

bye-bye, my heart #

Hey, Dawn!

Hi, Mrs. Kitchens!

# Oh, my heart, my heart,

my heart, my heart #

Hi, baby.

Come on in.

So, how'd it go?

They asked me to come back

to the next one and speak.

Well, of course they did.

Hey, sweetheart.

Did you have fun?

Yeah, they had awesome music.

- Mm-hmm?

- And, uh, food. So...

Oh, Kim, you're warm, baby.

You have pain today?

Let's talk about young people stuff.

Uh, Gwen and Phil say hi.

They are so adorable.

Wills of iron.

Well, things were a little different

when we were growing up.

Hey.

It is different now.

Hey, honey, we're not complaining.

You are a blessing.

Both our children are blessings.

Brad!

I got you, b*tch!

I got you so good! Whoo!

# To know what it's like #

# To dance with him... #

# He's so close I can feel him #

#...won't give in

to the feeling 'cause #

# Love is worth waiting for #

# Love is worth waiting for #

# My heart is... #

All right,

here's your chance.

Make a move, stud.

Hmm... gimme.

Give me it.

Mm-hmm.

Love is worth waiting for!

Wait? Yeah, I'll wait

for the b*tch to get her panties off.

What kind of soda

do you guys got, huh?

- We got cherry.

- Let's pop that cherry!

Go on!

Sorry!

- Hey, Tobey.

- Hey, Dawn.

Quite a welcome.

Dick.

Great. You're not allowed

to actively thwart it.

All's fair, dude.

Okay, dude.

So, questions?

That's it, then, for the penis.

Let's move on to the...

to the, ahem...

uh, the next page.

The female... privates.

- Um, there's something weird in my book.

- Leave it.

I have it too.

A sticker.

What's it hiding?

The state school board

has rightly ordered it be concealed,

a detailed diagram of-- of the--

Vulva!

Oh, my God.

That's f***ed up.

Why are they covering that up?

That should be obvious.

They showed the penis picture.

- That's different.

- How so?

The sad thing is, Ryan,

you'll probably never know.

Right?

Uh, Dawn.

I think I can tell you how it's different.

Girls have a natural modesty.

It's built into our nature,

and so depicting...

They do!

Oh, great!

I read about that one.

Phil, that's rated R.

Oh, I hear it's good.

I'm not saying we should see it.

You know what, even the PG-13

is gonna have heavy making out.

Well, there's...

Sorry.

It's okay.

Bunny.

How'd that happen?

I was a little kid.

No one ever told you?

No, they never figured it out.

What?

I think she bit it.

She... who?

Dawn.

A baby bit the end

of your finger off?

Here, hit this.

Hey, guys,

where are we going?

You'll see!

Isn't this a big make-out spot?

Only at night.

Do you think this is a good idea?

We're in a group.

We'll police each other.

Right?

Is this private property?

Watch out

for the poison ivy.

- Whoa.

Phil, what are you doing?

Whoa.

Wow.

Is that a cave?

Yeah.

People go there to... you know.

You like that?

You know, I do have

a perfectly good p*ssy.

I'm sure you do.

Well, I do.

Other boys like it just fine.

Ow.

Well, f*** them, then.

Hey, Mother!

Hey, come over here.

Get in.

Come on, get in!

Whoa!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

A little too close.

You get what you deserve.

Really?

Knock it off!

Ugh!

Brad!

No, never.

It's never even been a big deal.

I just... always knew I wanted

to wait until marriage.

So, no one's ever even touched your...

Absolutely not!

Gosh.

Why, are...

- Aren't you?

- I'm a virgin.

- That's great.

- Mm.

In His eyes.

Oh.

It was just once...

about a year and a half ago.

Right.

Still dealing with the guilt.

Actually, you're...

probably stronger now.

Your resolve.

Because you've been there.

I mean, you've seen

the dangers firsthand.

- Where's the arroyo bridge?

- I'll show you.

WOMAN ON TV:

What's happening to you tonight?

Keep quiet!

Alive?

I can't believe it,

enduring for centuries like this.

And under all that heat.

Oh, no!

Yaah!

What is wrong with me?

Purity.

Purity.

Tsk.

Back then,

these snakes were born

into an environment

with very large mammals,

so the diamondbacks

that developed a rattle

had a big advantage

over those that didn't.

They didn't get stepped on.

You mean suddenly,

out of nowhere,

a baby snake was born

with a big rattle?

The prevailing theory

is that it would have been born

with an incipient...

Primitive.

Thank you, Ryan.

...rattle-like mutation

that would have developed

over thousands of years of evolution,

but we don't know for sure.

Got that right.

It's also possible that it happened

exactly as you said,

and that one day

a baby diamondback was born

with a fully formed mutation

that just happened to be

extremely beneficial to its survival.

Does this seem irrelevant

to all of you?

Because it's not.

Now, I know a lot of you

subscribe to other theories.

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