Temps

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- Good morning, beautiful.

-What time is it?

Eh, 9:
00ish.

-Oh.

-Thanks for sleeping over.

-Mm-hmm.

-Feels weird sleeping alone.

Like I'm... Sleeping alone.

You want to move in?

-Ugh, no!

You have got a bad case

of the bed sprawl.

Plus, things are getting

pretty serious with Jason.

-Jason with the hair?

-No, Jared with the hair.

This is Jason with the glasses.

- Didn't you just go out

with him, like, on a first date?

-Uh-huh.

And it was a great first date.

And we've been texting...

All the time!

Anything?

- Just the same three jobs

I'm not qualified for.

This sucks.

-You hated that job.

- Yeah,

but at least I could pay rent.

-Just get a temp job.

Jason!

- Who would ever want to

work a temp job?

-Wakey, Wakey, eggs and bakey.

-Actually, no bakey.

But there's a goat cheese

and squash frittata

in the fridge.

You can heat it

in the toaster oven at 350

or totally ruin it in the micro.

Amaretto mimosa?

- Oh, no, thanks.

I gotta four-day gig

at mbst&t starting today.

- No way!

They just moved me to mbst&t.

I was totally planning

on having a lame day,

and they've gone

and messed that up.

Did you already

put in your money?

- I put it in the ledger,

but I didn't red-light it.

- What have we got,

like, 75 days left?

- 84 if we want to make it there

by Thanksgiving.

- It's a small price to pay

for another

epic Jefferson and Carter

ski adventure!

Whoosh! Whoosh!

We feeling the pink today?

-Yeah, let's give it a try.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I think that works.

- Oh, yeah.

Shake that moneymaker.

All right, guys,

I need you to go through

these boxes here,

make sure we shred anything

older than seven years.

Dates are on the top

of these folders.

Any questions?

-That suit, Ann Taylor?

-Um... It is.

-You really wear it.

-Thank you, Jefferson.

-Mrs. HWANG?

- Yes.

- Stephanie.

Cal staff sent me over.

- Okay,

why don't you come with me.

-Ann Taylor?

-I'm telling you, man,

these things are a gold mine.

-Ann Taylor?

-Ross.

-You really wear it.

-We have 2,500 of these

that need to be stuffed

and metered by lunch.

As soon as the other temps

are finished shredding,

they can jump in

and help you out.

-Okay.

- I know, not much time.

- I'll do my best.

- I'd prefer

you just get it done.

-Okay, I'll do that.

-Are you talking back to me?

-No?

- There's a reason

you're a temp worker,

you know that, right?

-Because I got laid off?

- I'm gonna let you in on

a little secret.

They don't lay off

the good workers.

- All right,

I'm gonna go stuff these.

- Please do that.

- I'm going.

- Go.

- Okay.

- Hurry!

- I am.

-Let's go.

Temps.

- Don't take it personally.

HWANG hates girls.

All right, are we doing this?

- And go!

- No, no, no.

- Corner back, corner back!

Oh! Damn it.

-Winner!

-I demand a re-do.

- Is this what you guys

normally do around here?

-Uh...

Sometimes we raid

the office supply closet

and see if we can make a fort

out of anything.

That gets real challenging.

-You enjoy being a temp?

- Temping is just a means

to an end, really.

We're actually skiers.

-Like professional skiers?

- Yeah, kind of.

- Except we don't get paid.

We're going to mount hood

this year.

It's a Straga volcano

or strata volcano.

- Strata volcano.

- Yeah.

-Strata volcano.

- So skiing and temping.

Any other life plans?

- I take it you're one

of those live to work people.

- I appreciate the value

of a life's work, yes.

-What's yours, then?

- Oh, well, I...

Went to school for accounting.

-That sounds thrilling.

- Well, what's your life's work,

skiing?

- It's actually not

just about skiing,

it's about, uh, seeing as many

incredible places

and meeting

as many incredible people

and gathering

as many meaningful experiences

before shuffling off

this mortal coil.

You know,

things you can't really do

from a cubicle

or a corner office.

Ever been skiing?

- I was more

of a field hockey girl.

-Me, too.

- I have a boyfriend.

- Was that for me or for her?

- You.

- Oh.

Okay.

Congrats?

- Sorry, I was just

trying to shut this down.

-Shut what down?

- This little banter

we have going on.

-Why?

- Banter usually

implies ulterior motives.

- I'm not hitting on you.

-Good.

-Would you like me to?

-No.

- Seems like maybe you would like

him to hit on you.

Call 'em like I see 'em.

-I'm Jefferson.

-Stephanie.

-So what's your man list?

- My man, oh,

what are you talking about?

-You know, list of qualities

a guy has to posses

in order for you

to open up

your secret sexual side.

-I don't think I have one.

But if I'm trying to waste time

and not do work,

I'd say um... He's gotta be nice,

but not too nice.

-Okay.

- Uh, and he's gotta

like kittens, puppies, and kids.

- This is not quite as secret

or sexual as I was hoping for.

-We're at work.

- Hey, I'm sorry,

can I talk to Stephanie?

She's the cute girl

I was just making out with

in the broom closet.

- Shh!

- Shh!

- Shh!

- Shh, shh!

- Shh!

- I have to say

as a casual observer

of the female species,

you're all highly contradictory.

Because as far as I can tell,

most girls not only have

but, in fact, enjoy many forms

of loud, raunchy, kinky sex.

-Gross.

- See and yet none of you

will ever admit

that you like, want, or have

these various kinds of sex.

What is that?

Is that some kind of agreement

that you all have

where if you don't

talk about it,

it doesn't actually happen?

Like, if a random girl

and a random guy

have sex in a random forest,

yet no one is there

to randomly see it,

can you still call her a slut?

Not that I would ever

call anyone a slut.

Unless you want

to be called a slut.

Even then, I think I would have

my hang-ups with it.

Hello?

You want to get some lunch?

-What are we gonna talk about?

-The weather.

-I like to be tied up.

-Or we can talk about that.

- But we can't.

I'm a girl.

So you ready for lunch?

-Yes.

-Oh, my gosh!

Josh and I would never

come into a store like this.

- Well, maybe that is

why you broke up with him.

- I like it.

- Mm-hmm.

-Um...

I don't really do that.

- The...

- Yeah.

-Oh. Oh, sure.

Good.

- It's just I...

I have lockjaw.

- Ooh!

- Yeah.

- That doesn't sound fun.

- Not at all.

- Well, I should have asked.

That was... sorry about that.

- Okay.

- Um...

-Oh! That is really gross.

People poop in there.

I poop in there.

Oh!

Ah!

You know we have friends

waiting, right?

- No, I'm sure they're fine.

- Oh!

- Jefferson and I hit

the mountains every single year.

We're going to mount hood

next year... near Portland.

You know

that's a strata volcano.

-Oh?

-Okay, stop, stop.

You're starting to act like

that vibrator we got.

- Exactly what does that mean?

- It means you know

how it only has the one speed?

Mee! Mee! Mee!

You know?

- Mee!

- Is that Annie Taylor

that you got on?

- Would you like me to be

a little bit more variable?

Maybe... A little bit

more, "rah!"

Or, "errr!" Or,

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