Temps Page #2

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"dugga-dugga-dugga-dugga."

-Yeah.

-Hey, got you a drink.

Hope you don't mind germs,

'cause I took

a little sip there.

- Oh!

- Shh!

-Ugh! That is really gross.

People work here.

I work here.

-Can I ask your honest opinion.

What do you think

of this jacket?

-No, you may not, and I love it!

-Did we miss anything?

- No, I was just telling Curtis

how awesome his jacket is.

- It's kind

of getting warm in here.

- I'm so confused.

Are you in a relationship?

- We're just trying to keep it

in the moment.

- I don't know what that means.

- I don't, either.

Jefferson says it a lot,

seemed kind of romantic

as I was getting

out of that Josh situation.

- You were getting

out of a something

that started

in junior high situation.

So a toe fungus

would have seemed romantic.

- Oh, well...

I like being in something

that's maybe not so defined.

-Okay, but if a...

Relationship isn't defined

as a relationship,

then is it really

a relationship,

because it seems like half

of what makes a relationship

a relationship

is being able

to call it a relationship.

Am I right?

- Whatever.

You know, whatever.

I'm happy.

And the sex

is f***ing animal style.

-I don't know.

You always struck me

as the person

who needed an update

on her Facebook status

in order to go

f***ing animal style.

-That was the old Steph.

-I want ice cream.

Do you want ice cream?

I want ice cream.

- Yeah.

- Guess who sent me

a relationship request.

-Oh, things are getting serious.

What are you gonna do?

- I don't know.

I'm gonna...

Ignore her for now

and then just hope

that she forgets she sent it.

-Yeah, that's cool.

I have an uncle who sends me

candy crush requests,

and I just ignore them.

I'm never gonna play

that game, okay?

- Oops.

Dropped some sh*t there.

-Thanks.

Don't worry about it.

-Oh! Mmm!

- In order, nape of the neck,

eyes, and teeth.

- Nape of the neck?

Dude, you're a liar.

-I am not a liar.

- That's the kind of list

a guy makes

when he's embarrassed

to say the first thing

he looks for are tits.

-Tits?

-Yes, every guy looks for tits.

- No, you...

You can't help seeing them,

they're right in front of you.

What I look for

is a nice nape of the neck.

-I guess you have a point.

- Well, what's the first thing

that you look for?

-Tits.

-Hey, guys.

-Oh!

-Nice nape.

- Who do you think was the genius

who first took a Popsicle stick,

jammed it in a hot dog,

and then dipped it in a fryer?

- I notice you haven't accepted

my relationship status change.

-What?

- Yeah, I sent it to you,

like, two or three weeks ago.

It's not that big a deal,

I just figured

maybe it's time our status

reflected our relationship.

I did notice that you had time

to post those hilarious

workplace memes.

Classic.

-Well...

Remember how, um...

Refreshing we thought

this thing is that we have?

- What is this thing

that we have?

- This?

- This.

Us, you and me... this.

What is it?

-Complicated.

- Then how about it's complicated

as a status?

Just some indication

that we're together.

- Steph, it's only been,

like, a month.

-It's been almost three.

-Really?

- Do you really think

I'd be doing the things

we've been doing

with some random guy?

- We haven't even

been on a real date yet.

-Date?!

You don't even buy me drinks.

- Yeah, 'cause

that would make it a real date.

-Oh. Wow.

I...

Are you embarrassed

by me or something?

-No!

No, Steph, you are...

Way one of the coolest, sexiest,

funniest chicks

in the world, probably.

-Then what the f***?!

-The f*** is...

I don't know, why can't people

just be happy

with the way things are?

You know, why can't people

just live in the now?

Why does everybody have to label

and compartmentalize

everything in their lives?

- Because, Jefferson,

that's how we make

an informed decision

on what we keep

and what we throw out.

-Like Josh?

-Yes. Exactly like Josh.

And whoever first decided

to jam a Popsicle stick

into a hot dog was an a**hole!

This is disgusting!

-Stephanie!

Steph!

Estephania!

Hey, that's my corn dog!

That's my corn dog!

You know what,

I don't want to be tagged

in anyone's photos, either.

It's a creepy invasion

of privacy.

- I agree.

- This sucks, man.

It's like I get punished

for knowing what I want.

-What do you want?

Holy crap!

That's Allison Segal

from high school.

- Look at that,

it's Allison Segal.

- I want out with her once...

Junior year.

- You did not go out

with Allison Segal.

You never went out with anybody.

And Todd Parker went out

with Allison Segal.

-No, that was me.

- Well, Todd Parker

went out with her, too.

Then again, he crushed,

like, every girl in high school.

I wonder what he's up to?

-He's probably in jail.

- Or witness protection.

We should call him.

Will and Nicholas, too.

Those were good guys.

-She didn't recognize us.

-Or she did.

- She looks exactly the same,

only more professional,

like a businesswoman,

not a prostitute.

I wonder if she's single.

- No matter what I do,

I'm gonna befoul this thing

with Stephanie.

-Yeah.

-What?

-She's probably single.

-Oh.

Yeah.

Where you at today?

-Hell.

-Me, too.

I'm back working

with the HWANG again.

-Oh. My favorite.

Say hi for me.

-I thought about it,

and maybe we can go out

on a real date,

just so you can see

how much I suck at dating

and why I shouldn't do it.

- Are you asking me out

on a date?

- For strictly scienti...

Scientific purposes only.

-I'd love to be experimented on.

-Are you bored?

-What? No, no.

- Oh, great. I'm boring you.

I'm boring.

- Stop it, you're not boring.

- I actually know that I am.

It's okay, just go ahead

and say it,

come out and tell me.

- What you're sensing right now

is not boredom,

it's just

like when I get hungry,

I just get, you know,

one-track minded

and, you know,

I just get tunnel vision.

It's like boom... food.

Just...

-Boom, food.

-Tunnel vision.

-Right.

-Your hair looks really nice.

Did you do something different?

-Kind of.

Thanks for noticing.

-It looks really nice.

-I'm glad you like it.

- Oh.

Dave Matthews?

-No, way worse than that.

- Jack Johnson,

'cause he's about as bad

as anybody I can think of.

- Why do you want to know?

- Because I think you can tell

a lot about somebody

from their most embarrassing

music purchase.

Dashboard confessional.

-I like dashboard confessional.

- Oh, god!

- I like them!

-I like dashboard.

-Oh, man, that...

You really do have

questionable taste in music.

Really questionable.

Jason Mraz.

- Not gonna tell you.

- Come on, I told you mine.

- Oh, you told me you downloaded

a bright eyes album one time.

How embarrassing is that?

- Super embarrassing.

- I own all of his albums

plus an EP.

-How can you say he won?!

Look, he's... he's sulking back

into the ocean,

a defeated beast.

-She's returning home.

-Godzilla's not a woman!

- Um, she had a kid

in "Godzilla's revenge," hello!

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