Temps Page #3

---

- We're gonna have to have

a serious talk,

because that doesn't

qualify as a movie.

- Okay, regardless of

how you feel about it,

she would still be the winner.

-Okay.

Seriously, I just want you

to think about this, okay?

Who would win in a fight...

A giant, pre-historic dinosaur

with clear back problems

or Kong,

the eighth wonder of the world?

- Radioactive mutant lizard,

no question.

- Ugh, you!

You're a lost cause.

You're beautiful,

but god damn it,

you're a lost cause.

I had

a really good time tonight.

- Yeah, me, too.

I better go, though.

-That would probably be best.

-Yeah. Yeah.

Otherwise, it's like there's

this giant elephant in the room

that I want to...

f***.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Go turn off the TV.

That was like...

Some of the most normal sex

we've ever had.

-Is that a bad thing?

-No.

Creed.

-You brought creed.

Wow. That is...

So much worse

than I could have thought.

-I know! I know.

You crack me up.

- So this is how

it's gonna be, huh?

Every morning when I wake up,

you're gonna be here

taking away my opportunities

to walk around naked.

It's 4:
00 in the afternoon.

- I'm a night owl.

Hoot! Hoot!

- Well, if you want to walk

around naked, be my guest.

- I'm gonna hold you to that.

Where's Jefferson?

-Out getting wine and cheese.

We're going to see

a movie tonight

at the Hollywood cemetery.

- Ah, you're running

the bases backwards.

-Running the bases backwards?

-Means you start with sex

and then you do

all that couply stuff.

-Yeah, I guess.

- Now, the pancakes

with orange zest.

-Curtis?

-Dude!

- Oh, my god,

is that a real newspaper?

-She's dead.

-Allison Segal? How?

-Her heart exploded.

-Gross!

Should we say a prayer or...

Something?

- I'm gonna be honest,

I feel little weird

saying a prayer

over a pair of used panties.

-What?

I have a pair from every girl

I've been with.

- Yeah, that's a little...

That's just creepy.

Okay, Steph, back me up on this.

This is a little...

- oh, actually,

I can't say anything. I...

I do have a pair from

all the girls I've been with.

- If only we had stopped her

to say hi.

She could have been the one

to find a cure to cancer.

-Was she that smart?

-Or... Stumbled upon it.

-I never knew Allison very well,

but in high school,

I was always a big fan

of her perky b*obs...

- don't say that,

you piece of sh*t!

-Oh, Curtis, cool out!

Cool out, man.

-Jesus, Curtis, calm down.

Not a...

I'm sorry, I never knew you felt

that strongly about her.

-She was my first.

- I thought Janet Moler

was your first.

Orally.

- Sometimes I don't get Curtis

at all.

- Haven't you ever been

madly in love?

- Please,

he was not madly in love.

I didn't even

know they were going out.

-And what about you?

- I thought I was, once.

Turned out to be the flu.

- I'm serious.

- I'm serious, too.

Just once,

then I lost all self-respect.

-What happened?

- Ugh, I don't know.

It was like a year ago.

We were going out for a while,

and then suddenly she decided

she needed to find herself.

Apparently, she'd been hiding

inside another man's penis.

-That's a good place to hide.

Bet you didn't think

to look there.

-Are you folks ready to order?

- Sure.

Go ahead.

- Uh...

The, um, the chicken special.

How does that come?

- Baked, broiled, barbecue,

stuffed, flame-broiled,

peppered, on in a nice pot pie.

-Um...

The... the broi...

Broiled chicken special.

- Me, too.

- How would you like the potato?

- Baked.

- What are the other options?

- Baked, whipped,

scalloped, Au gratin,

country-fried, French fries.

- Can we possibly substitute that

with like a fruit compote?

- Just get whipped.

Everyone likes whipped.

- I do like whipped.

I'll get whipped.

- Soup or salad?

- Salad.

- Sure.

- Two salads.

- Ranch, Russian,

thousand island, blue cheese,

ranch peppercorn, ranch

vinaigrette, house Italian?

- Do you have Roquefort, or is

that the same as blue cheese?

- If they had Roquefort,

she'd say Roquefort.

- Unless they were

the same thing.

- We have blue cheese.

- House Italian for me, please.

- Can I switch that to the soup?

- Veggie, beef barley,

chicken noodle, cream of celery,

or matzo ball.

- Just go with the salad,

house dressing.

- Sure, yeah. Does the special

come with bread?

- Yes, white, wheat,

rye, marble rye, pumpernickel,

sour dough, kaiser roll,

or bread stick.

- Can we just get a variety

in a basket?

-Two specials, broiled,

potatoes...

One baked, one whipped...

Two salads, house dressing,

basket of bread.

Anything to drink?

- Two cokes.

- I'll be up all night.

- Coke, diet coke,

sprite, root beer, iced tea,

lemonade, O.J., coffee,

tea, or milk?

- One coke, one...

- Sprite?

You're very decisive.

- Maybe that's your problem,

you need to be more decisive.

- Well, I have way

more problems than that.

I think.

-I'm sorry, you guys.

We're all out of chicken.

- Hey.

- Hey, how's it going?

Am I interrupting?

-Not at all.

I was just warming up,

loosen out all those bugs.

- Mm-hmm.

What for?

- Well, after seeing

Allison right before she died,

I realized she saw me

for who I was.

She saw that I had the soul

of an artist.

- Wait, what?

What does that mean?

- I'm gonna be a dancer.

- Like as a job,

you're gonna do it as a job?

- It's not commerce

of the wallet,

it's commerce of the spirit.

We only live once.

I need to find a way

to express myself.

-Through dance?

-Yes.

How do you express yourself?

-Um, ah, I'm not sure I do.

-That's your problem.

- Why does everybody think

I have a problem lately?

I'm actually very happy

with my life.

-That's your problem, too.

Plans and projects

- no f***ing way!

Todd Parker!

- Jeffy! Wow!

Hey, how are you, man?

-Oh, where have you been, man?

Curtis and I were just taking

bets on whether you were

in prison or witness protection.

- Oh, no, no, no.

- Still cruising the b*tches

and slapping the hos?

-Eh, not so much.

- They must have named an std

after you now.

I swear, you had 30

different strands of chlamydia

that one summer.

Speaking of b*tches you crushed,

did you hear

about Allison Segal?

- Yeah, it's sad.

- F***ing terrible.

-By the way, this is my wife.

-Oh.

-And my little girl, Claudia.

-Your...

Your little...

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you. Hi.

- This is Jeffy.

We were... Pals.

- Yeah.

- At school.

-Yeah, yeah.

Wow! Look at...

Todd Parker and Fam.

This is just...

You know what?

Can I get a picture of you guys?

This...

Curtis is gonna

laugh his ass off.

Oh, wow!

Uh, a little closer.

A little closer.

Yeah. That's all right.

I'll widen out. Nice.

Oh, you would not believe

the trouble we used to get into.

This guy.

- Yeah, she's heard the stories.

- Uh, Claudia's getting

a little grumpy here.

I'm gonna take her to the car.

It was nice to meet you, Jeffy.

- Nice to meet you.

- See you in a bit.

I'll be right out.

-Bye, Claudia.

- Sh*t, man,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes