TerrorVision

Stanley, Stanley,

quit screwin' around!

Stanley!

Stanley, I'm right in the middle

of my program!

For Chrissake, Stanley!

Lay off me, beautiful,

I almost got this baby wired.

Yeah... it's gonna be... dynamite.

Whoa!

Hey, my TV flipped out.

I missed the new Noodles video.

Earth Station Putterman

is at it again.

Oh, Daddy.

- ... but I think it's okay.

- I think this thing is a piece of-

He's such a dork.

He thinks he's a genius,

what can you do?

Oh, I'll get it.

And one and two.

Hi, Gramps!

Hey, honeybee.

You know the one

about the U-2s?

- Uh, the band?

- No, the spy planes.

Oh, yeah, I think

I saw 'em on MTV.

MTV?

Phooey!

Je-sus!

What's with this thing, Norton,

I'm gettin' electrocuted here?

I tried to warn you, Mr. P.

These do-it-yourself 100s

are kinda temperamental.

Yeah, gimme a break guy,

I need a hand here.

Sorry, Mr. Putterman, no can do.

The warranty covers repairs only.

You insisted on the 100, Mr. P.

I told you they were trouble.

Yeah? Well, when

I get through with her,

she's gonna be

the hottest dish in town.

...four, five, six, seven, eight.

one, two three...

Hi Dad, how was downtown today?

Downtown, phooey!

I'm sick a downtown.

Used to be the place to go,

talk to people,

disseminate your literature-

feel like you were doin'

some good in the world.

Now it's just bums and weirdos

and kooks coming out

of the woodwork.

Getting so decent folks

won't even stop and talk.

Oh, Daddy, don't be so paranoid.

Hey, soldier,

got that radar up yet?

It's not radar, pop.

It's a satellite dish,

you know a TV receiver.

Satellite, you say?

I wonder if it could pick up

recon satellites?

Keep track of enemy

troop movements.

It might be a handy little addition

to my home defense unit.

Holy tomato.

Ahh! Brain shot!

Belly down, soldier, the geeks

aren't through with you yet!

Bam! Bam! Bam!

Hey, hey, hey,

would you guys grow up?

- Hi, Dad.

- Hey, Sherm.

I gotcha, Grampa.

Captured your radar too.

Hell of an assault, soldier!

Damn fine show of fire power.

Say, Mr. P, you mind

if I grab another Heinie?

Look, Norton, if you're gonna hang out

and guzzle my Heinies,

the least you could do

is give me a hand here.

Sorry, Mr. P., the contract

says repairs only.

You want repairs?

- I'll show you repairs!

- Mr. Putterman.

There!

Now let's talk repairs!

Je-sus!

What the hell was that?

Man, I've never seen anything

like that before.

Stanley, what is going on?

What the heck was that noise?

Where's my workout show?

Hey-hey, Mr. Putterman,

check it out.

All right, Putterman.

What a guy.

Get ready, you guys.

This baby is going to open

a whole new dimension

in television pleasure.

- Oh, boy.

- Oh, Stanley, I'm so excited.

Check it out!

Dyno-picture.

Hey, nice one, Dad.

Oh, trs impressimo.

Pleasure palace, here we come.

Troop movements, leave it here.

No way!

Channel 69, Pop.

Stanley!

This is grungy!

Where's MTV?

MTV?

No problem.

I'm a liar and I'm a cheat

Leave it, leave it,

I love this song!

Echh!

He is so nasty.

Intellectual decay!

Turn it off,

it'll rot your brain cells.

It's the international

conspiracy!

Hey, hey, hey, careful,

you're gonna break it.

You're gonna break it,

careful, watch it!

What the hell?

Gosh, that coulda burned down

the whole house!

Stanley, you call Norton

right this second!

No, no, no, look.

It's fine,

it's workin' fine, it's cool.

Oh boy, Medusa.

Hello, bloodsuckers.

Ready to be turned to stone?

Will you look at those hooters?

Holy tomato!

Let's watch her tonight,

okay, Grampa?

All the way to midnight.

Hell yeah, we'll watch her.

What about brain rot, Dad?

The intellectual conspiracy?

I've said it before

and I'll say it again,

war stories and monster movies

are educational.

They're survival oriented.

They always neutralize

the enemy in the end.

I'll get it, it's OD.

O who?

OD, my new boyfriend.

Oh, Irish boy?

New boyfriend, what happened

to the Weinstein boy?

Squidsville, Mommy, gaa!

OD's the coolest boy in school,

he's a musical genius.

Okay, invite him in

and let's see what he looks like.

OD!

Da-da-da-da-da-da,

charge!

Ya gotta come in.

My parents wanna meet you.

Oh, wow, what a drag.

Ta-da.

Everybody, this is OD.

Hello, Mr. Putterman,

I'm glad we're finally gettin'

a chance to meet.

Hello, Mrs. Putterman,

mm-mm, beautiful outfit.

Why thank you, OD.

You're sweet.

Mom, can we use

the Jacuzzi tonight?

Uh, not tonight, baby.

Your father and I

might be swinging.

Stanley, we have to meet them

at the Cha-Cha Room at eight.

Oh, I gotta hit that ol'

locker room pronto.

Nice meeting you, OD.

Don't stay out too late.

Oh, no, we won't.

Well, it was nice meeting you, sir.

Hey, no problem... dude.

Just take care of my little girl.

Okay.

- Yeah.

- What dress you wearin', babe?

- Oh, my new Naugahyde.

- Oww!

- Woo!

- Killer!

I'll just get my junk

and I'll be right back, okay?

No sweat.

Hey, old dude,

whatcha eatin', man?

Lizard tail jerky.

Wanna stick?

No thanks, man,

I just pigged out.

Amazing creature, the lizard.

Ya eat the tail,

it don't give a hoot.

Just grows another one.

And ya eat it too.

It's mighty darn tasty.

Hey, little dude,

you into metal?

Kiss the boot, man.

Kiss the ass, bozo.

Jesus, could you believe

that kid?

Oh, I thought he was kinda cute.

That punk stuff is just

a phase anyway.

Yeah, I know, but don't they know

how ridiculous they look?

Puny, puny earthlings,

I, Ro-Man, am your new master.

Worship my superior intelligence

or I shall wipe you

from the face of the planet.

Uh, give us a break, Ro-Man.

Lose the deep-sea helmet, guy,

and quit monkeying around.

Medusa's been getting

a lot of fan mail lately.

Hey, listen, I called

that TV guy, Norton.

He's gonna come by a little later

and check out the dish.

If it starts acting up again,

just turn it off until he gets here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, go on,

go on, get outta here.

...words from our sponsors.

Announcing Super Television,

with a picture so lifelike, it comes

right out into your living room.

Pretty good old movie, ain't it?

No.

Let's see what's up

with the recon satellites.

...superior,

the winning television you-

Careful, Grampa!

What the Sam Hill?

Watch out, Grampa,

you're gonna break it again!

Hey, this looks like a cool movie.

Hey, he's a gross

lookin' booger, ain't he?

I'd nuke that sucker!

Well, do something,

you ugly bastard!

Man, this is the dumbest movie

I ever saw.

What a bunch a crud.

All you phone freaks

out there stay tuned.

Oh, boy!

We're gonna open up the call lines

to see what you perverts are up to.

And Medusa wants

to hear wants to hear

some real...

kinky...

nightmares.

Hmm?

Great balls of fire!

Did you see somethin', boy?

You know what the Sam Hill it was?

It-it looked like a- a monster.

There's no such thing

as monsters, boy!

It was a God dang burglar!

Let's move out!

It looked... weird.

Sometimes them burglars

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes