That Darn Cat! Page #10

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See, that's the trouble.

None of you really understand cats.

Now, if someone was to go along tonight,

someone whom he trusts...

No, Miss Randall.

But supposing DC loses you again?

He's really diabolically clever.

[Kelso] Look.

- Don't you think I...

- [lngrid] No!

[Bird tweeting]

He's on the back porch

listening to a bird.

[Tweeting]

How I let myself

be talked into this...

I thought Mr. Kelso said you were

going to give up the cat theory.

We were, but a new lead

came up today to support it.

Mr. Hofstedder rang Mr. Kelso

about the watch,

or rather, his niece did. She...

How did you know about Hofstedder?

Well, um, his store is only

a few blocks away from here,

and we're very good friends.

I mean, his niece and I

are good friends.

Did Agent Kelso mention it to you?

- [Kelso] He's starting to move.

- Easy, Zeke. Easy does it.

Well, as long

as you won't be needing me...

- Where are you going?

- None of your business.

I'm happy to get you

out of the house,

- but what do you think you're doing?

- There's something fishy next door,

and I won't close my eyes to it

like you do.

I won't be an ostrich

and bury my head in the sand.

Why don't you try it?

It might improve your appearance.

I know my duty.

Good luck, old woman.

I always say, if you got a duty,

you ought to do it.

Get me the police.

Police?

I want to report a prowler.

Yeah, he's dressed

like an old woman.

Running around looking in windows.

No telling what he's up to.

Yeah, and tell your men

to be careful.

He's dangerous.

That's the 402, all right.

- [Screams]

- All right, relax, buddy.

- Just take it nice and easy.

- [Screaming]

Never mind the hokey scream.

We know who you are.

- Careful, this guy might be dangerous.

- Guy?

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Laughing]

I don't want to tell you

how to run your business,

but if I was on a job,

I wouldn't wear women's clothes.

You don't have the face for it.

Now, come on.

[Screaming]

[Squelching]

[Squelching]

[Motor rewing]

Control, I've lost visual contact

with the informant.

- You make him on the scope?

- I have a faint signal.

He's headed towards the pike.

[Kelso] On a line 100 feet north

of this position.

Okay. Report as soon

as you pick up your visual.

Yes, sir.

Oh, it's unloading time

It's unloading time

It's unloading time

Oh, it's unloading time

Unloading time

Unloading time

- [knocking]

- Iggy.

Hey. Know what I got?

You ready for this?

I got a laundry truck,

filled with old bags of laundry.

- She's in the bedroom. Make it quick.

- Will I. Will I!

- [Meowing]

- What'd you bring that thing in for?

Hey, fella,

where did you come from, huh?

You just wait here one minute.

I got a little business to do,

then I'll give you milk.

- [Meowing on radio]

- [Dan] Get rid of that cat,

and go in and finish her off.

[Lggy] Think it's best to do

the job here or in the truck?

[Dan] Here, we don't have

to fight her down the stairs.

This is it, Control.

132 Eighth Street.

Okay, we got it.

All units, move in.

Kelso, hold off till we get there.

- [Meowing over radio]

- I can't wait, sir.

I've got a situation here

that's breaking wide open.

Iggy, get this thing

off of me, will you?

- Get it off!

- It's just my old buddy.

Your old buddy.

Get him out of here.

What's the matter?

- Hey, look.

- Shh.

- You stupe, the cat's bugged.

- [Knocking]

Hello, there. I thought you could help.

I seem to have lost a cat.

Oh, yes, I was wondering

who that cat belonged to.

- Come right in.

- Thank you.

You know, till you have

a pet of your own, you really...

- Ah, there it is.

- [Meowing]

- I hope he hasn't bothered you.

- No, not at all.

I guess you've been

missing your old daddy, hmm?

- He likes to play games.

- Doesn't seem to like you very much.

Actually, it's my wife's cat.

Yes, to be very honest with you,

we barely tolerate each other.

- [Dan] You live in this building?

- [Kelso] Near the front.

- Funny, I haven't seen you.

- Funny.

I work nights.

Engineer at the aircraft plant.

Interesting thing about that cat,

had a thing on its collar.

I could be wrong, but it looked

like a miniature radio transmitter.

I tell you, he is a character.

Always saying to my wife,

"What's he gonna drag home next?"

[Dan] You know something, mister?

I don't think that's your cat.

And I don't think you're an engineer

at the aircraft plant.

And I don't think you have a little wife

who lives upstairs near the front.

[Knocking]

- Iggy.

- [Meowing]

Oh, there you are, lambie pie.

And you found him!

Oh, my sweet darling.

We've been so worried about you,

haven't we, dearest?

Yes, we certainly have.

I'd rather handle it now, dear.

You run back upstairs.

- Not at all. I want to help.

- Aren't you young to be married?

Why not? We were in love.

L'amour toujours, you understand.

Too bad lambie pie

didn't buy you a wedding ring.

She's always losing things.

- I found your cat. You run along.

- Why don't we all go?

No need to impose

on these nice gentlemen anymore.

- Come on.

- [Dan] One minute.

Now who's kidding who, huh?

Dear, would you let go

of my arm, please?

Lggy, get the money together.

We're cutting out.

- What about the old broad?

- Change of plans. Forget her.

We'll take Miss Nosy here instead.

- And I'll take care of you, copper.

- You'd be advised to leave her out.

- You're telling me what to do?

- That's right.

- Please be careful.

- Now, sweetness, I wouldn't hurt you.

I don't care about you,

but DC's getting frightened,

and he always behaves

so badly when... Get him, DC!

Hold it.

Hey!

What are you doing?

No, no, that's my money.

Go away.

Let me go. Ow!

My money, my money.

- Oh, no.

- [Meowing]

[Lggy] That darn cat.

[Patti] Is that too much?

If DC wasn't bad enough before,

there'll be no living with him now.

Look at this one.

He's not a bit afraid.

He has a nice jawline,

and this picture makes it look as though

- he had a double chin.

- Who?

Zeke. Can you imagine

the girl that marries him?

Mrs. Zeke Kelso.

It sounds like something that got caught

in a clothes dryer.

Wow. Would you like to see how

your gentleman friend spends his nights?

Canoe! [laughing]

The poor darling.

How do you suppose he did that?

- I don't know. I'll get it.

- [Honking]

What in the world was he doing

caught in a garage door?

I haven't the faintest idea.

- Good morning.

- Gregory, I'm surprised to see you.

Good morning, Patricia.

Ah, how is our little celebrity

this morning?

Ow!

- Bad cat.

- Quick little rascal, isn't he?

I may not be home for dinner.

I'll phone you later.

- Fine, have a nice time.

- I knew all the time, of course,

that nothing was wrong. I felt happy

to see in the morning papers

that my faith in you was justified.

Mother said I should hurry over here

as though nothing had happened.

She forgives you

for all the anxiety you've caused her.

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