That Guy ... Who Was in That Thing 1 Page #10

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Right after 9/11, that was

one of the hardest times for me.

And, uh, I just wasn't getting

offered any work.

Not only that, I wasn't

auditioning a lot.

The pain of that started really

taking its toll on me.

And I fell into just the--

I don't know how else to say it,

I fell into the abyss.

I couldn't sleep.

I was smoking like a chimney.

I was just drinking a lot.

I was depressed.

I noticed the bills stacking up.

I wasn't able to--to take care

of them for the first time

really.

And I started getting scared,

you know, and I had a car note,

you know, I had an apartment,

I had this, I had that.

I said, "well, what am I going

to do?"

So I said, "well, first thing

I'll do is maybe sell

everything that I have."

And or, you know, just--I need

to get all this out of here--

Furniture that I have, and so

I did that.

I sold what I could sell or

what people--and I didn't really

get anything for it, not as--not

as much as I wanted.

I had this big, huge TV that was

sitting in--in fact, in my

living room.

And I said--I said, "well,

I think I'm going to sell it,

but you know what?

Instead of selling it, I think

I'm going to--I'm going to--I'm

going to destroy it."

[laughs] BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

I went, got out my toolbox and

a hammer and a couple of other

things, and I began, like,

destroying it.

I just went up to it and just

started beating the sh*t out of

it.

And I destroyed--glass

everywhere and everything and

all across the living room

floor, and, like, I killed my

TV.

I think I was really killing--

And this sounds kind of maybe

bizarre, I was--it was just

symbolic to me of everything

I had achieved.

But it was--it was betraying me

at the time.

I wrapped it up in this blanket,

and I dragged it.

It was heavy, so I dragged it

down to the garbage bin

downstairs, and I dumped it.

So I said, "all right,

got rid of that."

And the last thing that was

really left was my car,

you know.

And I kept getting phone calls

from the auto finance company

because I was late on my car.

I ended up turning my car in.

And there I was again, right

where I was from the beginning,

back on the bus.

I didn't decide to--to, you

know, kill myself or anything.

I didn't decide to kind of do

away with it all, but I said,

"well" --I think I thought about

it though.

You know, I thought about kind

of just, "well, maybe it's

time for me check out."

I remember I was on the Melrose

bus, and I got off--I remember

I got off and called Donna,

and I just broke down.

I was--I lost it, you know.

And I wasn't mad at her,

I was just mad, and you know,

I just said to her, you know,

"I'm back on the bus again,

you know, this wasn't supposed

to be like this," you know.

And she said, "look, let me call

somebody, you know.

I know someone at

'general hospital.'"

just came at the right time.

It came at the right time.

So I rode my bike over to the--

To "General Hospital" set.

When you ride a bike to a

studio, the security guards

look at you like--like you're

crazy.

"Are you delivering something,

or are you on a wrong--do you

need--are you lost?"

"No, I'm here to go to work."

"You're--for what show?"

"'General hospital.'"

"you're--you're on the show?"

"Yeah, I'm on the show."

"Okay, you can lock your bike

over there by the coke machine,"

you know.

I hope--I hope it doesn't happen

again, but if it does, I think

I'm better prepared to deal

with it, you know, than before.

There are more and more

actors out of work not be--not

necessarily because there are

more actors, although I suspect

there are.

But it's the consolidation

of a business.

There are just fewer films

being made.

There's much more reality

television.

And the pay goes down because

they keep paying less, and they

say, "hey, they still show up.

We pay them less, and they still

show up."

It is very, very difficult

for a character actor to make

a living doing film now when

you're paid scale ten.

So you got to--you got to

support a kid and maybe a wife,

and you're being paid, I don't

know, whatever.

2,750.

You know, 2,750 bucks a week,

come on.

When you were paid 20 years

ago, it was, like, 10,000 bucks

a week.

What's going on?

When I first came here, I

went off to do a TV movie,

I was making 40 grand a week.

Now you're lucky to get

$6,000, $7,000.

And they don't give a f***

who you are or what you've

done because they're like,

"there's somebody else."

You know, it's that whole thing,

there's 10,000 guys behind you

that will take the job.

And sometimes you have to just

go, "all right, go f***

yourself then.

No, thank you."

One of my clients was--was

offered a job for an episodic

television show, major network.

He found out after he booked

the job that they only wanted

him for a day, that they would

need him two days early for

prosthetic work because he's

shot and killed.

Um, and it included a weekend.

So he would be getting paid

$3,000 before commissions,

before taxes to work for five

days, and when they said that

he also wouldn't get a single

card billing, which is something

that's pretty important,

especially when you're not

getting paid well, he held out,

and they recast the role.

But there's just something

sobering about seeing how much

this present business

does not actually need you.

It just needs to fill the slot.

And the slot is eminently

fill-able with 4 million people

in line right behind you.

The one-day guest star,

they take all your scenes,

shoot them in one location,

so they only have to work you

for a day, a 15-hour day,

but it's a day, and they'll go,

"well, here's $1,500."

I mean, a lot people think

that we all make a ton of money,

that we all make a load of

money.

"Oh, you're rich."

And, you know, if you're--

If you're a guest-starring

actor, you--I felt that I was,

you know, I think you're more

than fortunate if you get one

job a month because it takes

two weeks to shoot an episode,

more or less, so it's like, to

get one job a month is--

It's great.

You can't live on one job

a month.

When the money comes, it

comes, but it doesn't--you

know, I suppose to your average

American, it looks like a lot

because on paper it is.

But if you get a big chunk here

and then you go two months

without, and then you get a big

chunk here--

Many actors have many people

involved in their careers.

So when someone gets a

paycheck, we are allowed to

collect 10%.

Often, they have a manager who

can collect 10% to 15%.

They might have an attorney

involved as well.

Normally they take 5%.

So we're talking maybe 25%

taken off the top minus whatever

taxes you're paying to the

government and perhaps

a publicist, who also takes

a set fee per month.

I used to see some checks

coming in for clients that

they maybe saw 1/4 of what that

check was.

You don't go into acting

for financial security.

You go into it because you

enjoy it.

For me, really deeply

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