The Addams Family Page #16

GOMEZ:

Taught to us by our Cossack cousins,

the Mamushka has been an Addams family

tradition since God-knows-when...

Gomez hurls the scimitars to Fester. They begin JUGGLINGTHEM BACK AND FORTH -- MUCH TO FESTER'S SHOCK AND SURPRISE.

GOMEZ:

...We danced the Mamushka while Nero

fiddled! We danced the Mamushka at

Waterloo! We danced the Mamushka for

Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester

Addams, this Mamushka's for you!

The juggling continues. The MOVES GET MORE AND MORE

INTRICATE. It's an ELABORATE, CAREFULLY CHOREOGRAPHED

ROUTINE. Fester, petrified, manages to somehow bunglehis way through.

They launch into a TONGUE-TWISTING PATTER SONG. Fester

stumbles his way through. During an instrumental passageof the song, Gomez admires his brother.

(CONTINUED)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/6/90 82.

108 CONTINUED:
(2) 108

GOMEZ:

After all this time Fester hasn't

forgotten a step, hasn't forgottena word!

Fester STOPS DEAD.

FESTER:

(astonished)

Not a step, not a word...

Fester has missed a beat and looks up to SEE -ALL

FIVE SCIMITARS -DROPPING

FAST, coming straight at him.

Panicking, he CATCHES... ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR -- withtwo in each hand, his hands are full. What's he goingto do with

THE FIFTH SCIMITAR?

HE OPENS HIS MOUTH TO SCREAM.

SWALLOWS IT TO THE HILT.

IT DROPS STRAIGHT IN. HE

The Addams mob CHEERS LUSTILY and launches into the

finale of the song.

Amazed, Fester drops the scimitars he holds and pullsthe one from his mouth.

FESTER:

How did I do that?

Gomez slaps him on the back. Fester burps.

cheer again. They close in on Fester.

The Addams

CUT TO:

A109 INT. A REMOTE CORNER OF THE BALLROOM - SAME TIME A109

Cousin It and Margaret are waltzing in an out-of-the-waynook; they are somewhat involved.

MARGARET:

We've been married for almost twentyyears... sometimes it seems like

more...

COUSIN IT:

Ooot oot blipper.

(CONTINUED)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 12/26/90 83.

A109 CONTINUED:
A109

MARGARET:

Of course, people grow, peoplechange...

COUSIN IT:

Glibber gleep gleep.

CUT TO:

109 INT. FRONT HALL - A LITTLE LATER. 109

Tully is heading for the front door, in his coat. Abigailstops him.

ABIGAIL:

Where are you going? There's

trouble.

TULLY:

Hey - not to worry. Plan B.

ABIGAIL:

But that hideous little girl...

TULLY:

(interrupts)

I'm in charge. Ten minutes - I'll be

back.

Tully slips out the door. Abigail turns, frustrated,

throwing up her hands. Upstairs, on the dance floor, areprise of the Mamushka has begun. In the rear of the

hall, Cousin It passes across, leading a tremblingMargaret.

CUT TO:

110 EXT. JUDGE WOMACK'S HOME - A SHORT WHILE LATER 110

Judge Womack is on the front porch with Tully. He's

apoplectic. The raucous sounds of the Mamushka reverberate

from the Addams mansion.

JUDGE WOMACK:

What the hell's going on overthere?

TULLY:

How would you like to be rid ofthe Addamses for good? I'm serious.

JUDGE WOMACK:

(smiling)

What can I do for you?

CUT TO:

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 3/18/91 84.

111 EXT. ADDAMS MANSION - TWO O'CLOCK A.M. 111

Gomez and Morticia stand on the front steps wavinggood-bye to their departing guests.

Cousin It leans out the window of his limousine, sharinga romantic last moment with Margaret.

MARGARET:

You're a marvelous dancer. It's

been such fun.

COUSIN IT:

Ooot ooot gibber.

MARGARET:

(torn)

I can't. We musn't.

(a beat)

Call me?

The limo drives off, as Margaret waves a fond farewell.

The limo passes --

Morticia appears. She puts her arm around Margaret asIt drives off.

MORTICIA:

Oh, Margaret... he's very special,

isn't he?

MARGARET:

(sighing)

He's perfect.

MORTICIA:

He's It.

Flora and Fauna giving good-bye kisses to Fester, coveringhim with lipstick; they hang on him with all four arms. He

is enjoying himself.

FLORA:

You'll come see me before you

leave, won't you, Fester?

FAUNA:

(to Fester,

confidentially)

I'll call, once I'm alone.

An AMBULANCE pulls up. White-jacketed ATTENDANTS step out,

with a straight-jacket built for two.

FESTER:

There's your ride! Good-bye, girls!

CUT TO:

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 3/18/91 A84A.

112 INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - A BIT LATER 112

Fester skips down the hall, still practicing bits of theMamushka, the Amor Twins' kisses still fresh on his cheeks.

He opens the door and strides into -113

INT. FESTER'S ROOM - SAME TIME 113

Fester dances into the room. He grabs Abigail and startsdancing with her, swinging her around and singing bits ofthe patter song.

(CONTINUED)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 2/13/91 84A.

113 CONTINUED:
113

ABIGAIL:

Gordon?

Fester keeps singing and dancing.

ABIGAIL:

Gordon! Stop it! This instant!

Fester lets her go.

ABIGAIL:

Gordon, is that... lipstick? All over

your face?

FESTER:

(still giddy)

From the twins! The beauteous Amor twins!

ABIGAIL:

The twins? Gordon, I don't understand

this. Let me get this clear. Have

you... have you been having a good time?

FESTER:

(jubilant)

Yes, I have! It was marvelous - I

sang up a storm! And I danced 'till

I dropped! The Mamushka!

He begins to dance again. Abigail, breathing fire, sitson the bed, turning away from him.

FESTER:

Mother?

ABIGAIL:

Mother? Mother? Who is that? I

don't think I recall.

FESTER:

Mother...

ABIGAIL:

I'm perfectly fine. I'm dandy. Don't

concern yourself with me, Gordon.

Please, return to your depraved orgy.

Sometimes I think you're not even my son.

FESTER:

Don't say that!

ABIGAIL:

I'm just your mother. You only owe meyour entire existence on this planet.

Please, Gordon, by all means - go.

Sing. Dance. Date.

(CONTINUED)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/12/90 85.

113 CONTINUED:
(2) 113

FESTER:

(coming to his senses)

Mother, I'm... I'm so terribly

sorry...

(he kneels at her side)

It was just a party. It's over.

It means nothing. Those Siamese

twins, that hunchback, Cousin It

-they're not you.

ABIGAIL:

(clutching himsavagely)

Say it, Gordon. Make me believe it.

FESTER:

I love you. And I want money.

ABIGAIL:

(very no-nonsense)

We've got to find Tully.

CUT TO:

114 INT. BALLROOM - SAME TIME 114

Morticia is looking for her children. She discovers

Pugsley ASLEEP, curled up on the SILVER PLATTER WHERE THETWO-HEADED PIG LAY. She finds this enchanting.

Gomez enters. Morticia shushes him; she points to theplatter.

MORTICIA:

(whispering)

Look - our little boy.

GOMEZ:

(whispering)

All tuckered out.

MORTICIA:

(whispering)

So sweet. He looks just... likea little entree.

Pugsley wakes up; he looks around.

PUGSLEY:

(sleepy)

Where... where's the party?

(CONTINUED)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/12/90 86.

114 CONTINUED:
114

MORTICIA:

It's over, darling - have you seenyour sister?

PUGSLEY:

Not since before the Mamushka.

Gomez?

MORTICIA:

GOMEZ:

Don't fret - we'll find her.

CUT TO:

115 EXT. ADDAMS YARD - LATER 115

Gomez rallies the family for the search. Morticia wears

a black cloak. Granny has grabbed her divining rod.

Lurch distributes torches, then stands aside, awaitinginstructions. Pugsley helps Gomez unroll an ancient mapof the area.

GOMEZ:

Fan out. Pugsley - head for the dungheap. Mama and Morticia - the shallow

graves. I'll take the abyss, andLurch - check the bottomless pit.

MORTICIA:

(worried)

Her favorite...

GOMEZ:

(calls out)

Fester!!

Up here.

FESTER (O.S.)

They look up at Fester, looking down at them fromWednesday's window.

GOMEZ:

Fester! You take the ravine!

the unmarked, abandoned well!

And

FESTER:

Somebody should stay behind - incase she comes back.

Good man!

GOMEZ:

Good thinking!

(CONTINUED)

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