The Addams Family Page #6

Pugsley stands nearby, beside Fester's steamer trunk,

studying the exotic decals.

ABIGAIL:

How did zis happen? How did it come to

be. Ze story - it is most amazink, and

also beautiful. He vas found in Miami,

tangled in ze tuna net! It vas just

last month, during ze Hurricane Helga.

Ze sky, it vas black like pitch. Ze

vaves, zay vere valls of doom. Can you

imagine? Zen - zey drag him from ze

ocean, from ze very jaws of oblivion.

I'm tellink you! Zere are tests, so

many tests, and a complete

psychological profile. At long last,

ze Florida Department of Fish unt ze

Game, ze say, low unt beholdt, my oh my

go tell it on ze mountaintop - he is...

your bruzzer! Boom! Zey gif him to

me, at Human Services, and I am

bringink him, after all zese years,

after who knows vat heartache, after ze

naked unt ze dead, I am bringink him

home to you!

MARGARET:

That's preposterous.

TULLY:

Margaret...

Tully nudges her in the ribs to shut up.

MARGARET:

But don't you think that's absurd?

TULLY:

Honey...

MARGARET:

Isn't that the most ridiculous

thing you've ever heard?

TULLY:

(through gritted teeth)

Blossom...

GOMEZ:

It certainly is.

Gomez slaps Fester companionably. Fester hates beingtouched.

(CONTINUED)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/12/90 31.

40 CONTINUED:
(2) 40

GOMEZ:

And now you're back.

TULLY:

Back to share your joys, back toshare your sorrows, back to share

-well, hey - everything!

MARGARET:

Well, I just don't know...

Tully hands Margaret the fingertrap to distract her.

TULLY:

Darling, how does this work again?

MARGARET:

An infant would understand...

Margaret, disgusted with Tully, demonstrates thefingertrap. Her fingers are instantly stuck again.

MORTICIA:

Fester Addams - home at long last.

FESTER:

Well, at least... for a week.

MORTICIA:

A week?

GOMEZ:

Don't be ridiculous! You're home!

FESTER:

Sorry, but I have to get back.

I've got a lot of things cooking in

the Bermuda Triangle.

MORTICIA:

(aglow with romance)

Oh, Gomez. The Bermuda Triangle.

GOMEZ:

(fondly)

Devil's Island...

MORTICIA:

(dreamy)

The Black Hole of Calcutta.

(CONTINUED)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/20/90 32.

40 CONTINUED:
(3) 40

GOMEZ:

(to the group)

Excuse us.

MORTICIA:

Second honeymoon.

At the steamer trunk, Pugsley is disintegrating the lockwith a beakerful of acid and an eyedropper.

MORTICIA:

(to Abigail)

Dr. Pinder-Schloss, will you bestaying too?

ABIGAIL:

No, no, I really must be goink.

But I vill be back, you can bet.

To be checkink on Fester's

adjustment.

The acid has eaten away the lock on Fester's trunk.

Pugsley opens the trunk a crack. He fishes among thecontents, his arm inside up to the shoulder. Something

snaps. He grins, then pulls out his hand. His fingersare crushed in a rusty, ferocious-looking BEAR TRAP.

PUGSLEY:

Cool.

Wednesday alone stands apart in her mournful fashion.

She is instinctively SUSPICIOUS of this new Fester.

WEDNESDAY:

Nobody gets out of the BermudaTriangle. Not even for a vacation.

Everyone knows that.

ABIGAIL:

(to Wednesday)

Oh, my little vun. Zere is zo much

you do not understandt. Ze human

spirit - it is - a hard tink to kill.

(CONTINUED)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 12/29/90 33.

40 CONTINUED:
(4) 40

GRANNY:

(agreeing)

Even with a chainsaw.

Abigail pinches Wednesday's cheek, hard. Wednesday

continues to stare at Fester.

CUT TO:

41 OMITTED 41

42 INT. FESTER'S ROOM - LATER 42

Morticia has shown Fester to his room. As she speaks,

the camera lingers on the following photographs atop thebureau:

A PICTURE OF FESTER AND GOMEZ AS YOUNG BOYS, EACH IN A

DOGGY CARRYING CAGE, BEING HELD BY THEIR FATHER. FATHER

STANDS BESIDE A CRUDE WOODEN SIGN WITH "CAMP CUSTER"

BRANDED INTO IT.

GOMEZ AND FESTER AS BOYS, PROUDLY SITTING ON THE LAP OF A

BOUND-AND-GAGGED SANTA CLAUS.

Morticia begins to open Fester's trunk and go throughit.

MORTICIA:

Unpacking - you must be exhausted.

Let me.

FESTER:

(alarmed at what she

might find)

No... um... that's all right...

you don't have to...

Morticia begins removing Fester's burglary equipment fromthe trunk.

MORTICIA:

A crowbar... dynamite... cyanide...

Fester. As if we'd run out.

(she turns to go)

Good night.

She exits. Fester examines two photographs in a hand-

tooled leather frame on the bureau. Imprinted below theFACE OF THE BEAUTIFUL GIRL ON THE LEFT is the name FLORA,

below the BEAUTIFUL GIRL ON THE RIGHT is FAUNA.

(CONTINUED)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 12/29/90

33A.

42

CONTINUED:
42

It's clear that they are identical twins.

The CLOCK in the hall STRIKES MIDNIGHT.

It's time to go to work. He opens the door to his room

and peeks out. He sees ...

WEDNESDAY -in

her doorway across the hallway, staring back at him.

He whips back into his room.

FESTER:

Nosy little brat...

Frustrated, he looks out again -- Wednesday's door is

shut.

He looks both ways.

CUT TO:

A43

INT. ATTIC - A FEW MINUTES LATER A43

The TRAP DOOR RISES in the attic floor. Fester's head

appears.

Fester climbs into the attic. As he does, the camera

PANS around the room, taking in the piles of odd objectsand memorabilia.

Fester approaches a set of GLASS CASES.

ANGLE on the FIRST CASE. The case contains a set of

mounted BUTTERFLIES, pinned in place.

ANGLE on the second, LARGER CASE. In this case there

are several STUFFED VAMPIRE BATS.

ANGLE on the third, STILL LARGER CASE. This case is

about three feet high, and fairly wide. It is empty.

WEDNESDAY (O.S.)

It's reserved.

The camera PULLS BACK. Wednesday stands near the trapdoor; staring at Fester, who stands by the empty case.

Fester is startled, but tries to act calm.

FESTER:

It's reserved? For what?

WEDNESDAY:

For Skipper.

(CONTINUED)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 12/29/90 33B.

A43 CONTINUED:
A43

FESTER:

For Skipper? Is he... a dog?

WEDNESDAY:

No. Skipper isn't a dog. That

would be cruel.

FESTER:

(gruffly)

Of course not. I'm sorry.

(CONTINUED)

A43

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 12/29/90

CONTINUED:
(2)

WEDNESDAY:

He's a bully.

Fester stares at Wednesday. He backs away from her.

CUT TO:

34.

A43

B43 INT. FESTER'S ROOM - A FEW MINUTES LATER B43

Fester runs back into his room and shuts the door.

Wednesday has obviously unnerved him.

He sits on the edge of the bed. A cloud of dust billows

around him. Yawning, he lies down, sinking into themattress so deeply that he's almost buried alive.

Getting comfortable, he burrows deeper.

CLOSEUP - FESTER'S EYES. Who knows what terrors they'veseen? But now they lose their coldness, getting dreamy,

then he hears the creak of his door opening...

FESTER:

Who's there?

He sees ...

A SHADOW -thrown

huge on the wall.

FINGERS.

A SINISTER HAND WITH WRIGGLING

FESTER -goes

for the knife he keeps in his boot, which is nextto the bed, on the floor. The door slams. Veins in his

forehead bulge.

THE WINDOW EXPLODES OPEN -The

wet wind snuffs the candelabra light. There's onlythe sound of Fester's animal panting, then LIGHTNINGILLUMINATES A HAND GRIPPING THE BEDSPREAD.

THERE'S A VAGUE FLICKERING FROM ONE OF THE CANDLES.

Fester seizes it and nurses the flame, using it to relight

the rest of the candles. As the room fills with

candlelight Fester sees ...

(CONTINUED)

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