The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension Page #6

GUARD:

Where do you think you're going, doc? The moon?

129

An amazing thing occurring, as Lizardo's right arm rockets out an

catches the astonished guard around the throat, lifting him off the

floor, Lizardo's left hand picking up the telephone...

DR. LIZARDO

Operator! I wanna place a person-to-person call to John Bigboote,

Yoyodyne Propulsions Systems. Grover's Mill, New Jersey. Tell him it's

John Whorfin calling. That's W-H-O-R-F-I-N. Got it, honey? John! J-O-H-

N!

Lizardo waiting for the call to go through as he strangles the last

breath of air out of the helpless guard, drops him to the linoleum,

reaching for the dead man's keys...

DR. LIZARDO

(into phone)

Of course it's me, John Bigboote, you fool! Prepare for my return! The

time has come. Haven't you heard? Don't you watch TV? Banzai and

Hikita have done it! I'll meet you at the factory. Get that

overthruster! And the little Jap! Alive! Banzai's too dangerous.

Lizardo ripping the phone out of the wall, hurling it across the

room...

...those inmates playing their video games fleeing like rabbits when

they see that...Lizardo obviously no ordinary lunatic, as he proves by

simply reaching out and...

130

...touching THE BUCKAROO BANZAI VIDEO GAME, instantly shorting it out

on his way to freedom, suitcase in tow.

INT. BEDROOM ON BUS - DAY131

CLOSE ON a newspaper, a banner front page headline announcing the

amazing Jet Car test...

...and down in a lower corner, A PHOTOGRAPH OF "WOULD-BE-ASSASSIN"

PENNY PRIDDY being summarily escorted out of Artie's Artery...PULLING

BACK TO REVEAL...

132

...a simple steel frame bed, fold-out desk with microscope, scientific

books everywhere...Buckaroo trying to tie his bowtie, glancing at the

newspaper propped upon his dresser, that picture of Penny Priddy

staring back at him...Perfect Tommy and Reno nearby assembling some

kind of slide show...THE WHOLE ROOM SWAYING MYSTERIOUSLY...

...the two Cavaliers worrying more about Buckaroo than about what

they're doing, as they fumble the slides, several falling to the

floor...

PERFECT TOMMY:

Pick those up, Reno.

RENO:

I didn't drop 'em.

...Perfect Tommy getting up and peeking at the newspaper over

Buckaroo's shoulder...then returning to Reno...their voices low...

PERFECT TOMMY:

It's a spittin' image.

RENO:

Doesn't look anything like her to me.

PERFECT TOMMY:

Pictures don't lie.

RENO:

Hell they don't. I met my first wife that way.

PERFECT TOMMY:

It's Peggy to these eyes. Same nose, same hair. Plus Buckaroo thinks

so too or else he wouldn't be ready to go make a fool of himself,

right?

133

Buckaroo overhearing all of this, of course, as the door opens, Rawhide

appearing, offering a COMPUTER PRINT-OUT...

RAWHIDE:

Hot off the World Watch Wire, Buckaroo. Thought you'd wanna be

notified. That old pal of the professor's, Dr. Emilio Lizardo? The one

you did the brain scan on--? He killed a guard last night, broke outta

the Trenton Home for the Criminally Insane, stole a Masarati, totaled

it a block away.

Buckaroo's expression changing at the mention of the name

Lizardo...taking the

print-out.

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

Then what?

RAWHIDE:

Vanished. Thin air.

PERFECT TOMMY:

Doctor Lizardo. Wasn't he on TV once?

RENO:

You're thinking of Mr. Wizard. This guy's an eccentric genius.

PERFECT TOMMY:

Hey, so was Mr. Wizard.

RAWHIDE:

Dr. Lizardo's a raving lunatic, Perfect Tommy, a vicious psychopath

with crazy eyes and flaming orange hair that once upon a time was mousy

brown like yours.

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

Have you warned Professor Hikita?

RAWHIDE:

First thing I did.

PERFECT TOMMY:

(in the dark)

Why? What's going on? Anything I oughta know? C'mon, Rawhide, spill

it.

Buckaroo nodding his permission...

RAWHIDE:

The professor and Dr. Emilio Lizardo were actually the first to

discover the Eighth Dimension. Almost fifty years ago. Before

Buckaroo's parents even knew each other. But there was trouble, a

rocket catapult failed and Dr. Lizardo got sucked half in, half

out...when they hauled him back ,he wasn't the same guy. His hair was

orange...

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

And his soul black as the Ace of Spades.

RAWHIDE:

He went on a senseless crime spree, killed a cop during a bank robbery,

got caught and judged insane. The professor told us they threw away

the key.

PERFECT TOMMY:

Hey, any lock can be picked. So what's he up to?

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.

Buckaroo heading for the door...Rawhide drawing a receipt book from his

pocket.

RAWHIDE:

And another thing. Somebody took five bucks outta petty cash without

signing.

Buckaroo and Reno automatically turning to Perfect Tommy...

PERFECT TOMMY:

Wasn't me. I'd take a hundred, right?

INT. WORLD WATCH ONE/BUS - DAY134

...the guys following Buckaroo into an amazing ELECTRONIC NERVE CENTER,

like the rugged interior of an AWACS, dimly lighted instrument panels

manned by two BLUE SHIELD TECHNICAL EXPERTS.

RADAR SHEILD ONE

Lookit this, Buckaroo. Grossly abnormal high-altitude electrostatic

disturbance over Connecticut. Fallout from the Jet Car, you think?

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

Doubt it. Check NORAD command. Could be a volcanic ash cloud. Work

her up statistically, check it for the next twenty-four hours, then

shovel the data over to Reno.

INT. PASSENGER SECTION/BUS - DAY135

Buckaroo coming through another heavy steel door, and for the first

time we realize that we just might be on a MOVING BUS...

EXT. POLICE STATION - ESTABLISHING - DAY136

BUCKAROO'S BUS pulling up...BUCKAROO BANZAI AND THE HONG KONG CAVALIERS

emblazoned along its side.

INT. POLICE STATION - DAY137

Waiting near the watch desk, Buckaroo's Jewish surgeon buddy, Dr.

Zwibel...in a thousand-dollars worth of drugstore cowboy gear, a

Hoppalong Cassidy hat, red alligator boots, listening to the local

COUNTRY STATION on a suitcase size stereo...

...looking up as Buckaroo, Reno, and Perfect Tommy approach...

DR. ZWIBEL

Howdy, Buckaroo. Got your message about rendezvousing here. Barely

had time to pack my saddlebags.

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

Sid, welcome aboard.

(shaking hands)

Fellas, meet a medical colleague, Sid Zwibel. He'll be riding with us

from now on, so get acquainted while I snoop around.

Buckaroo heading over to the DESK SERGEANT on duty...

RENO:

The name's Reno. This here's Perfect Tommy.

PERFECT TOMMY:

Where do you hail from, Doc?

DR. ZWIBEL

(catching on)

New Jersey!

RENO NEVADA:

Where's your spurs at?

DR. ZWIBEL

You making fun of me?

PERFECT TOMMY:

Reno, how's about you take New Jersey's gear, mosey on over to the bus

and introduce him to the rest of the hands.

RENO:

Why me?

PERFECT TOMMY:

Cause Buckaroo needs me here.

Reno picking up Doctor Zwibel's huge stereo and suitcase...

RENO:

Follow me, pard'ner.

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