The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension Page #8

PROF. HIKITA

In 1942, a U.S. Navy frigate, number 7541, disappeared on a clear day

in the North Atlantic. Long thought to have been torpedoed, these

pictures of 7541 were taken yesterday in the Eighth Dimension.

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

Now wait a minute here...

PROF. HIKITA

Next transparency, please.

A loud murmur from the audience as the next slide in the projector

proves to be a remarkable image...

...of AN UPSIDE DOWN SEVENTEENTH CENTURY PIRATE VESSEL.151

...Buckaroo starting from the table only to be reminded by Penny:152

PENNY PRIDDY:

Buckaroo, don't forget your thruster.

...handing him the OSCILLATION OVERTHRUSTER...Buckaroo declining it...

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

You keep an eye on it.

PENNY PRIDDY:

Any time.

EXT. OUTER SPACE - AFTERNOON153

Meanwhile, several thousand miles overhead, a HUGE SPIKEY SPACECRAFT

APPROACHES EARTH...

INT. SPIKEY SPACECRAFT (FATHER SHIP) - AFTERNOON154

A mysterious cloud room where BLACK BRRODING CREATURES perch upside

down and sideways at controls in a smoky, vaporous environment, the

only illumination EERIE YELLOW LIGHT...THE WALLS BREATHING.

BUCKAROO BANZAI'S VOICE

Mr. President--? You there?

MORE NOISES, THE SOUND OF TELEPHONE SWITCHING EQUIPMENT...

INT. CORRIDOR - AFTERNOON155

Back at a pay phone in the corridor, Buckaroo trying to figure out why

the President doesn't answer.

RADAR SHIELD ONE

Seemed like a bad connection even back on the bus. But they used the

code.

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

Mr. President--? Some kind of interference...I can't...

Nothing from the other end except ODD SOUNDING COMPUTER BEEPS and the

STATIC-LADEN VOICES of several operators...

RAWHIDE:

Maybe it's just a prankster. Some computer whiz kid.

RENO:

Whoever it was they used the Blue Code, Alpha Clearance.

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

(to Radar Shield One)

Go back to the bus and reroute the call.

RAWHIDE:

And try the President's private number at the hospital. Make sure this

is on the level. We're busy people here.

156

...when suddenly eerie, inexplicable things begin to occur...ALL HAVING

TO DO WITH ELECTRICITY...the telephone book scooting closer to

Buckaroo's fingers as if drawn by a magnet, the pages then turning,

faster and faster...

157

...Buckaroo amazed...now the glass phone booth door abruptly slamming

shut, the phone simultaneously emitting a BIZARRE BUZZ...

158

...and then Buckaroo gets literally the shock of his life...A MIGHTY

ELECTRICAL CURRENT PASSING THROUGH THE TELEPHONE...

...AND HURLING HIM OUT INTO THE COORIDOR!159

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

Pencil! Quick! Pen! Anything!

Reno complying, the lights returning to normal, Buckaroo dazed, his

hand moving automatically, writing on any surface available.

A SPARK flying when he touches the metal-tipped pen to metal!160

Buckaroo finally settling for his hand, SCRIBBLING NUMBERS ON HIS PALM.

161

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - AFTERNOON162

PROF. HIKITA

Let me ask you to imagine the Oscillation Overthruster as a

sophisticated rifle accelerator firing a steady stream of protons at a

target-in this case a mountain-and the Jet Car as a giant super-

conducting magnet.

The Secretary of Defense fascinated.163

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

Sure, sure, but what about the Fourth, Fifth, Sixth and Seventh

Dimensions?

PENNY PRIDDY:

(thumbing through her paperback)

I don't guess they matter. It's like cheesecloth, I think. Minkowiski

space...

...as all eyes turn to see a still woozy Buckaroo Banzai returning,

pointing dramatically at John Gomez and John O'Connor in the

audience...

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

There! Those two! Don't panic...

The Cavaliers haven't a clue what he's talking about...

RENO:

Whadda you mean, Buckaroo? Where? What?

164

BUCKAROO'S POV...SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY...ACROSS THE ROOM, TWO GHASTLY

ALIENS, GIANT RED ARACHTOIDS WEARING SUITS AND TIES, HOLDING COFFEE

CUPS...

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

Evil...pure and simple, from the eighth dimension! Grab 'em!

165

RENO'S POV...NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY...neither Reno nor anyone else

in the room seeing what Buckaroo does, seeing instead only those two

redheaded gents who like their coffee sweet, John O'Connor and John

Gomez...COULD THEY POSSIBLY BE THE CRIMSON CREATURES BUCKAROO THINKS

ARE:

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

Arachtoids! Stop 'em!

SENATOR CUNNINGHAM

Arachtoids?

166

Buckaroo breaking into a dead run across the room, those two astonished

RED ALIENS racing for the nearest exit!

167

The Hong Kong Cavaliers rushing to help Buckaroo when suddenly the

PIERCING SCREAM of Penny Priddy causes them to stop in their tracks and

look toward the dais...

...where yet NOTHER REDHEAD called JOHN BIGBOOTÉ, in glasses and dark

suit, a bandanna over his face, has just stepped from behind the

curtain and seized Professor Hikita, pointing a revolver at the old

man's head...the Cavaliers instinctively stepping toward the dais,

outraged...

JOHN BIGBOOTÉ

Okay, wise guys!

...the masked John Bigbooté FIRING once, wounding Reno in the

shoulder...

JOHN BIGBOOTÉ

Let those gun belts hit the floor! And nobody follows, or the prof is

history!

The pistol stuck in Professor Hikita's ear convincing the Cavaliers to

obey, to watch helplessly as the kidnapper backs his victim through the

curtain and out of sight...as new Jersey administers first aid to Reno

and Penny strokes the fallen Cavalier's hair, berating the idle

bystanders around them:

PENNY PRIDDY:

Is this the kind of society you want? A society of weak-kneed

jellyfish wallowing in self-pity, prey to ruthless hoodlums who pick us

off like flies?

SENATOR CUNNINGHAM

Or a society where we stand strong, take charge of our own destiny,

with the cry "So far and no farther will we be pushed!"

INT. HOTEL BOWELS - MOVING - AFTERNOON168

Buckaroo in the meantime running down a flight of stairs...catching

sight of his prey...THOSE TWO MONSTROUS RED ALIENS running through a

swinging door...

...Buckaroo accelerating, hitting the door with every ounce of strength

in him...

INT. UNDERGROUND PARKING GARAGE - LATE AFTERNOON169

...Buckaroo flying through the door, taking a fall down concrete steps,

finding himself in the hotel parking garage where a MOTORCYCLE SHOW is

unloading equipment...

...Buckaroo spotting THREE SHADOWY FORMS halfway across the lot loading

A LARGE CRATE into a van...

Buckaroo wasting no time going after the van, as it starts

up...commandeering A FANCY NEW MOTORCYCLE, charging after the van

despite an EXHIBITOR'S warning:

EXHIBITOR:

Hey, you can't ride that!

INT. CORRIDOR - LATE AFTERNOON170

The Cavaliers coming from two directions, colliding at an

intersection...

PERFECT TOMMY:

Any sign of Buckaroo?

RENO:

No! Ditto the professor-

RAWHIDE:

Sh*t!

EXT. CITY STREETS - LATE AFTERNOON171

The van speeds by...the motorcycle pursues!

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE - LATE AFTERNOON172

The chase continues, leaving the city behind...

EXT. WOODED ROAD - LATER AFTERNOON173

...the van coming straight toward us, thundering past...as Buckaroo and

his motorcycle next roar INTO CAMERA in hot pursuit, and over his

shoulder an AWESOME SIGHT...

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