The Adventures of Mark Twain Page #2

l said, get.

Get off that starting line.

Get going.

-Get off of that--

-Jump there. Come on now.

-Oh, no.

-Will you just jump?

Jump. Jump, frog. Get going.

-We won, frog.

-What do you mean, you won?

Dag blame it, Smiley.

That was the last 40 dollars l had.

Well, as l said before...

...l don't see no points about that frog

that's any better than any other frog.

l do wonder...

...why in tarnation

that there frog just give up.

Wonder if there ain't something

the matter with him.

Appears to look mighty

baggy somehow.

Why, blame my cats...

...if he don't weigh 50 pounds!

l've been hornswoggled!

He was the maddest man.

He took out after that fella,

but he never catched him.

Shucks, l could write a better

story than that one.

Tom!

That's what l said myself

when l heard it.

lt was a big success all the same.

l became a writer.

l haven't worked a day since.

-Now, that's a job l'd like to get.

-lf you get out of here alive.

There she is.

How come you wanna catch

that comet so bad, Mr. Twain?

The comet and l

are a part of the plan, angelfish.

No doubt

the Almighty has said here:

''Here goes those

two unaccountable freaks.

They came in together,

they must go out together.''

Here, set your eyes

on this celestial schooner.

Now ain't that

a heartwarming spectacle.

lt's beauti--

Well, Tom and Huck and l,

well, see, we're not so sure--

That l know what l'm doing up here?

Angelfish,

it's just like piloting a river.

You get to know the shape of it.

Like following a hall

at home in the dark.

And even if you feel some fear,

you know no harm can come to you...

...because you've traveled

that hallway a hundred times...

...in nothing but bare feet and faith.

What are we gonna do?

You know your ownself...

...we gotta find a way off

of this here balloon, Tom Sawyer.

Adventure or no.

Okay now, Homer, over here.

Now over there.

Well?

l got a plan

just starting to brew.

Well, what is it?

First, we gotta get Becky off.

She talks too much.

Can't keep a secret.

So me and Huck was thinking...

...we should set her down

and let Becky off.

Things are liable to get pretty rough.

There is nothing comparable

to the endurance of a woman.

But this is different, Mr. Twain.

We're aeronorts,

and girls don't belong--

That's ''aeronauts.''

She would have to horn in

on this expedition.

-To the main deck.

-There's that thing again.

Come on, let's go investigating.

-Tom, where you going?

-This thing's really amazing.

Gives me the creeps.

''Table of Contents.''

Welcome to the works of Mark Twain.

This is the Indexovator.

Choose your story

and proceed to the correct door.

Let's have a look around.

Okay, now, l gotta know about this

secret plan if we're gonna be partners.

Okay.

We're gonna watch and learn...

...just the most we can

about flying this here balloon--

-Welcome to lnjun Joe.

-Look!

That was close. l don't ever

wanna meet that guy again.

He was scary.

Well, what then?

What you said.

After we learn the most we can

about this here balloon...?

Welcome to

the library-billiard room.

Have you ever seen

a place like this, Huck?

Tom, where you going?

Listen here, Tom. l want--

-Look at all this. What a contraption.

-Tom, l gotta know about the plan.

Guess those must be the classics

everybody's always talking about.

What's a classic?

Something everybody wants

to have read...

...but nobody wants to read.

-Library-billiard room.

-Oh, here you are.

-Doggone it.

-What you guys doing?

-Oh, what does this thing do?

-Go ahead, give it a try.

That's my monument

to Adam and Eve.

There she goes again.

Thanks.

-They're naked.

-So are we all the day we're born.

But we learn to be modest.

Not all over.

Just in places.

But it 's just as well,

l suppose.

Naked people have little

or no influence in society.

The way l heard it, that Eve

caused nothing but trouble.

Well, l heard that each found

the other a considerable nuisance...

...in the beginning.

Perhaps you would be interested

in my research.

-Yes, sir, l surely would.

-And so would l.

Well, have a look here.

The Diary of Adam and Eve.

lt all started with the world's

first birthday party.

Oh, this is nice.

What am I doing?

There, okay.

This is good.

This is cute.

Oh, what a surprise.

He's gonna love this place.

Adam.

This is for you.

-Adam.

-Oh, yeah.

Adam.

Adam.

-What?

-It's for you.

-Hello?

-Oh, no.

Here we go.

This was truly paradise.

And Adam figured

to keep track of it all.

But as it turned out...

...someone else was

keeping track of paradise as well.

Saturday.

I think it is a man.

I had never seen one,

but it looked like one.

I feel more curiosity about it

than about any of the other reptiles.

It has frowzy hair, no hips,

and tapers like a carrot...

...so I think it is a reptile...

...though it may be architecture.

I was afraid of it at first,

for I thought it was going to chase me.

But it was only trying to get away.

I waited a good while,

then gave it up and went home.

Sunday.

Today, the same thing.

I've got it up a tree again.

It is resting, I suppose.

It looks to me like the creature

is more interested in resting...

...than anything else.

Oh, no.

It was trying to catch the speckled

fishes that play in the pool...

...and I had to clod it...

...to try to make it go up

the tree again and let them alone.

This new creature

is a good deal in the way.

I wish it would hang out with the

other animals and leave me alone.

The new creature eats

too much fruit.

This morning found it trying to shake

apples out of that forbidden tree.

Wanting to make friends...

...I tried to get him

some of those apples.

I failed...

...but I think the good intention

pleased him.

Where's my--?

Ladder.

During the last day or two...

...I have taken the work

of naming things off his hands.

He is evidently very grateful.

The new creature says,

''It looks like grass. ''

That is not a reason.

It is imbecility and high-handed,

it seems to me.

Everything's named before

I can lodge a protest.

I get no chance

to name anything myself.

He has no gift at that line.

I do not let him see

that I'm aware of his defect.

The naming goes recklessly on

in spite of anything I can do.

My life is not as happy as it was.

Sunday.

The new creature says

its name is ''Eve. ''

Well, that's all right.

I have no objections.

Says it's to call it Eve

when I want it to come.

In that case, I said it was....

Superfluous.

This morning, he used

a surprisingly good word.

Yes, it is a large, good word

and will bear repetition.

Superfluous.

Superfluous.

Where did he get that word?

I don't think I've ever used it.

Superfluous.

Yes, yes, l like that one.

Friday.

Adam! Oh, no, no, don't!

She took to beseeching him

to stop going over the falls...

...but they had no other use

that he could see.

I went over the falls in a barrel.

Not satisfactory to her.

Went over in a tub.

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