The Adventures of Pinocchio Page #2

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of time in the forest lately.

l will carve you something very

special the first chance l get.

l was looking

for something with,

shall we say, thinner strings.

Thinner strings?

Why-- why didn't

you say so? Come.

l've gotjust the thing.

These wonderful pieces

are made of cherry wood,

and they are on sale

this week only.

Don't toy with me.

l didn't buy those puppets

from you two years ago,

and l'm not going to

buy them today,

so show me your best...

and show me now.

Excuse me. Coming through.

lncredibile.

He is perfect.

Stay.

- Boys do little bugs.

- Bugs

Don't they?

They like to tease them...

and twist them and--

Please, Lorenzini.

Name your price.

He's not for sale.

- Geppetto, everything is for sale.

- Stay, Stay!

Not him.

Not at any price.

Stay, bug.

You can have the emperor

and his daughter, and that's it.

You are making a big mistake,

Geppetto.

That's my last offer.

Take it or leave it.

Very well.

l will take these lovely puppets

off your hands.

l'm just burning with ideas.

Thank you.

Good afternoon, Geppetto.

Pinocchio.

Pinocchio

lnfantino is a creep.

Hey, fatty!

You're late, dimwit.

Pinocchio, show

yourself right now...

because l'm noot leaving this

house to look for you again.

Would someone please

like to tell us...

of a characteristic

which separates humans...

from the rest of

the animal kingdom?

Cages.

Humans cry tears, professore.

Ah, tears.

Expressions of the soul.

Do any other creatures look

so deeply within themselves?

No, professore. Only humans.

We must always decide

what is right and wrong.

Excellent.

Hey, Woody.

You ever get termites?

What are termites?

They're bugs.

l like bugs.

Not these kind, you don't.

They eat wood like you.

Hey, lay off my friend, Woody.

Lay off my friend, Woody.

What is going on

in my classroom?

The new kid punched Lampwick,

professore.

ls that true?

No

Hey, how'd you do that?

Silence.

Now, you're not lying to me

by any slim chance, are you?

There are two kinds of lies--

lies that have short legs

and lies that have a long nose,

and yours are clearly the kind

that have long nose.

Now, l will give you one

last chance to redeem yourself.

lf you didn't punch Lampwick,

how did he end up on the floor?

Nobody punched Lampwick.

Lampwick punched himself.

l--l mean, a man climed

in the window and punched him.

And Lampwick tried

to kick him back,

but he missed and fell

on the floor, and--

Silence.

lnfantino!

Silence!

lnfantino, go on, go on.

Handkerchief. Go on, quickly.

Run, run, run, run, run!

Right, l did punch Lampwick,

professore,

and l'm sorry

Well, it's too late

for that now.

lf there's one thing

l will not tolerate...

in my classroom, it's a liar.

Out.

And...

l'm sorry that

l kicked him, too.

Out.

And l'm even more sorry

that l told a lie.

Out, out, l said.

But l want to stay and learn.

Now, class, we will review

what we have learned today.

lf anything happened to him,

he's going to be

in big trouble.

lf l don't find him, l'm never

talking to him again.

Pinocchio!

lt's finished.

lsn't it beautiful?

Everything you bake

is beautiful, dear.

You know, l sold it to

the magistrate by the pound,

and the best part is,

l cheated on the weight.

You're very good at that, dear.

lt reminds me of the cake

that we had on our wedding day.

Don't eat that.

- l'm not eating anything.

- Not you!

Look!

Mmm, more?

l'll give you more.

You're a bad boy, huh?

Real bad boy.

Little mischief maker.

Your father's going to

pay for this!

Got him.

Even better.

Pinocchio.

Papa, want some?

Geppetto, he's yours?

Arrest him.

Arrest both of them.

You're under arrest, signore.

Wait.

Papa.

Come on. you, too, little one.

Hey, stop him!

There goes our commission.

Au contraire.

l have a feeling ourjob

just got easier.

Come on, now.

lt's past your bedtime.

lnto bed.

Good night, son.

l love you, Papa.

l love you, Papa.

l can't do anything right.

The human dilemma.

Who said that?

Or is it the puppet dilemma?

You've still got cake

on your face.

What?

Say, do you always

squish someone...

before being

formally introduced?

Are--are you a termite?

Oh, please!

So you're not going to eat me.

Thanks for the offer,

but li'm on a low-wood diet.

Let me introduce myself.

The name is...

Pugnacio Elecuzio P. Elegante.

Give me a ''P,'' an ''E,''

a ''P,'' an ''E.''

Put'em all together

and call me...

Pepe.

- Pepe?

- You don't like it?

- lt's OK.

- l'm very sensitive, you know.

No. lt's--it's fine.

We can't all

be called Pinocchio.

Now listen to me.

l'm here because you are

one tumult little puppet.

Your papa's in jail,

you're all alone,

you trounced me

in the alley,

and l'm here to see that we get

our friendship back on track...

right this very second!

Sorry.

Didn't meant to holler,

but insects are people,

too, you know?

And l'm a lot more than your

standard garden-variety cricket.

l'm a teller of truths.

l'll be your best friend,

pine cone.

l'll open your eyes.

l'm not a pine cone.

l'm a boy.

Not yet, but it's

a top-notch goal...

for such a cute little puppet,

which is why it's time

to get to work.

You ca become a real boy

one you get the tools.

l'll advise you

and be your regal guardian,

but you've got to do

the hard work.

You, my little sapling,

will have to shed something blood,

sweat, and tree bark.

Total eclipse.

Visitors. How wonderful.

Get the door, and be polite,

and smile, now.

Show those pearly whites.

No, stop.

- Let me go.

- Come on. We've got you now.

Court is now in session.

Case number 491, your honor.

The People versus Luca Antonio

Renaldo Geppetto Baldini.

My papa.

lt will be all right, Pinocchio.

There he is, your honor,

the little mutilator.

He ruined my cannolis.

He ruined my fruit tarts.

Silence, woman.

He even ruined my grandmother's

torta della nonna...

with the pinoli

and the chocolate--

Are you done?

No, l am not done. l would--

Arrest her!

Now l'm done.

Now...

Since you, Geppetto,

are responsible

for this, uh, puppet,

how do you plead?

Guilty, sir.

You will pay 20,000 lira

to the bakers...

and 10,000 to the court.

l--l don't have it.

That--that's

three years' wages.

lf you cannot pay, then you

will go to debtors prison.

Three years locked away.

Your honor.

l propose the court

allow me to pay the fines...

for this poor,

impoverished peasant.

This is most generous

of you, Signore Lorenzini.

Kindness is my weakness.

Of course, no good deed

should go without obligation,

so all l ask is to keep

Pinocchio in return.

Lorenzini, please,

take any other puppet.

l will work for you day

and night the rest of my life.

Geppetto, is itjust

money for you?

Pinocchio needs a home.

All you can offer him...

is table scarps

and cold winter nights,

but with me,

he will have a family.

What's a family, Papa?

My goodness,

such a heartbreaking question,

one no one should

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