The American Scream Page #8

---

UP WITH ME DOING THIS IS A

BLESSING.

FIRST OF ALL, FIX LIGHTS.

HOOK UP SOUND.

CHAIRS, TAROT CARDS.

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, I'M GONNA GET THE FIGURES

OUT, THEN.

GIVING ME A HARD TIME.

COME ON.

HERE WE GO.

JOINTS ARE GETTING A LITTLE

LOOSE.

I MIGHT HAVE TO TIGHTEN THEM UP.

OOP. [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]

WELL, SOMETHING HAPPENED.

HIS LEG FELL OFF.

[ SIGHS ]

[BLEEP]

THIS SNAPPED.

THAT'S WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.

[ SIGHS ]

[BLEEP]

[BLEEP]

NOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO A QUICK

REPAIR JOB.

[BLEEP]

>> WE CALL IT HAUNT STRESS.

WHEN IT'S CLOSE TO CRUNCH TIME

AND YOU REALIZE THAT YOU'RE

RUNNING OUT OF TIME -- THE

STUFF'S NOT WIRED UP, THE

SOUND'S NOT WORKING, "OH, MY

GOD.

THE FOG MACHINE BROKE."

AND YOU SUDDENLY STOP YOURSELF

AND GO, "WOW.

I AM MORE STRESSED OUT OVER THIS

THAN I AM MY PROFESSIONAL JOB,

MY DAY JOB."

>> [ GRUNTS ] COME ON.

>> "WASN'T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE

FUN?"

AND YOU EITHER RATCHET BACK AND

ACCEPT THAT AND IT BECOMES FUN

AGAIN, OR YOU'LL DRIVE YOURSELF

CRAZY.

>> COME ON! COOPERATE.

NO, HE'S NOT GONNA FREAKIN' STAY

NOW.

YEAH, HIS HIPS ARE PRETTY BASHED

UP.

[BLEEP]

NOT GOOD RIGHT NOW.

JUST LACK OF SLEEP...

14-TO-16-HOUR DAYS, YOU KNOW?

THEY'RE GETTING TO ME NOW.

BUT I JUST GOT ONE MORE DAY TO

GO.

IF I CAN HANG IN THERE TODAY,

I'LL BE GOOD.

YUCK. I HATE PINEAPPLE SODA.

AAH [BLEEP]

>> WHAT?

>> I JUST DROPPED THE --

>> WHAT DID YOU SPILL?

>> PINEAPPLE SODA.

THIS IS THE CRAP THAT I DON' HAVE TIME FOR.

>> VICTOR IS ABSOLUTELY IN

DANGER FOR HAUNT STRESS AND

HAUNT BURNOUT.

BECAUSE HE IS THE KIND OF PERSON

THAT WILL ABSOLUTELY STRESS

HIMSELF OUT.

VIC ALSO HAS THE BENEFIT OF A

REALLY UNDERSTANDING FAMILY.

>> CAN YOU HANG THIS IN THE

FRONT?

>> IN THE FRONT OF WHAT?

>> IN THE FRONT HERE TO COVER

THIS PLASTIC.

I'M SORRY.

>> FOR VICTOR, CREATING A HOME

HAUNT IS NOT A HOBBY.

HE STRESSES OUT BECAUSE HE NEEDS

EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT.

IT HAS TO BE A-PLUS ALL THE

TIME.

WHEN I FIRST STARTED HANGING OU WITH VICTOR, I WAS STARTING TO

GET, LIKE, THE CORPSE, THE SKULL

FOUR TIMES.

TEAR IT APART. DO IT AGAIN.

TEAR IT APART. DO IT AGAIN.

AND IT'S LIKE I COME TO REALIZE

A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T LOOK A DETAIL.

THEY JUST WANT TO LOOK AT,

"OH, THAT'S NICE.

OKAY," AND MOVE ON.

THAT'LL WORK.

WHEREAS HE WANTS EVERYTHING TO

BE PERFECT, I COULD CARE LESS.

UH...

YOU KNOW, I JUST DO IT 'CAUSE

EVERYBODY HAS A GOOD TIME WITH

IT.

>> ONCE EVERYBODY'S DONE AND

EVERYBODY'S HERE, WE ALL MEE OUT FRONT IN THE DRIVEWAY, AND

THEN I BREAK OUT THE SILLY

STRING, AND WE HAVE OUR ANNUAL

SILLY-STRING FIGHT, AND THE

KIDS, THEY JUST LOVE IT.

THERE'S GONNA BE A LOT OF PEOPLE

HERE.

WE ALL NEED TO STICK TOGETHER.

>> YOU GUYS KNOW ME WITH MY MASK

ON.

>> YEAH.

>> TONIGHT, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A

LOT OF PEOPLE HERE.

YOU DON'T GO WITH ANYBODY.

YOU STAY WITH US.

ANYBODY TRIES TO GET YOU TO GO

WITH THEM, YOU YELL FOR US.

>> YOU COME GET ONE OF US, OKAY?

>> 'CAUSE WE DON'T KNOW WHO'S

COMING IN HERE TONIGHT.

LIFE'S TOO SHORT.

YOU GOT TO BE HAPPY, AND YOU GO TO HAVE FUN.

>> WELL, HOPEFULLY WE'LL OPEN

WHEN IT STARTS TO GET DARK.

STILL GOT A COUPLE OF SCENES TO

FINISH, SO...

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> READY?

>> YEAH.

>> MAYBE THAT WILL BE ENOUGH.

[BLEEP]

>> HA!

OR IN HIS CASE.

>> HERE, HOLD HIM UP.

>> YEAH.

[ DOLL CRYING ]

DON'T TOUCH HIS HEAD.

YOU'RE GONNA BREAK IT.

>> I DIDN'T.

>> TELL YOU WHAT.

TAKE HIM OFF.

>> YEAH.

>> TRY THIS ONE.

>> OKAY.

[ DOLL CRYING ]

>> YOU CAN'T HOLD HIM BY THE

HEAD!

HOW MANY TIMES DO I --

>> I TRY NOT TO, BUT YOU HAND ME

SOMETHING, I CAN'T -- I GOT TWO

HANDS.

>> THERE.

YOU'RE NOT -- ARE YOU TOUCHING

IT?

LET GO.

>> I'M JUST HOLDING IT UP.

>> LET GO FOR A MINUTE.

NOW YOU'RE GONNA BREAK THE

MOTOR.

ARE YOU HOLDING IT?

>> HE'S ABOUT TO FALL OFF.

>> TRY HIM, THEN.

[BLEEP] DAD.

[ DOLL CRYING ]

THAT.

THERE WE ARE. SEE?

WILL YOU GRAB THESE BUNGEE

THINGS?

>> YEAH.

>> I WANT THE SCENE TO LOOK

RIGHT, AND, YES, I DIDN'T GO

INTO AS MUCH DETAIL THIS YEAR,

BUT I BELIEVE SOME OF THAT WAS

KIND OF FILLED IN WITH

IMAGINATION.

THERE.

THAT LOOKS GOOD.

NEXT.

>> HI, TOBY.

>> HI, AVERY.

[ CHILDREN SHOUTING ]

>> TRICK OR TREAT!

>> YEAH, WE MAKE SACRIFICES.

TRICK-AND-TREATING -- YOU KNOW,

I CAN'T TAKE MY KIDS

TRICK-OR-TREATING.

I USED TO HAVE TO HAVE SOMEBODY

ELSE ACTUALLY TAKE MY KIDS

TRICK-OR-TREATING IN THE EARLIER

YEARS.

THAT WAS KIND OF HEARTBREAKING.

BUT WHAT WAS GREAT IS THEY WOULD

GO TO A FEW HOUSES, AND THEN

THEY'D WANT TO COME BACK HERE.

>> I DON'T MISS

TRICK-OR-TREATING.

WE HAVE A TON OF CANDY LEF OVER.

LIKE, JANUARY, WE STILL HAVE

LEFTOVER CANDY.

WE BUY A LOT.

KATHERINE AND GWEN ARE SORT OF

CELEBRITIES IN SCHOOL AT THIS

TIME OF YEAR, YOU KNOW.

EVERYBODY KNOWS THEY'RE DOING

IT.

THEY'RE ASKING ABOUT IT, AND ALL

THEIR FRIENDS ARE GONNA LINE UP

IN FRONT OF THE HAUNT.

>> I'VE HEARD THAT A LOT OF KIDS

FROM MY SCHOOL ARE GOING TO BE

COMING TONIGHT.

I WANT TO SCARE THEM VERY BADLY.

>> GO THIS WAY.

>> COMING UP RIGHT HERE.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

>> COME ON.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ]

>> MOM!

MOM!

>> I BEG PEOPLE TO COME EARLY.

"PLEASE, COME EARLY."

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS?

EVERYBODY GETS HERE AT THE SAME

TIME, AND I'M LIKE, "PUT THIS

COSTUME ON QUICK.

YOU COME HERE.

I'LL DO YOUR MAKEUP WHILE

THEY'RE PUTTING THEIR COSTUME

ON.

YOU PLEASE SIT DOWN AND BE

QUIET.

YOU GO IN THE BATHROOM AND GO

PEE BEFORE YOU PUT YOUR COSTUME

ON."

I'M TRYING TO GET MAKEUP ON

PEOPLE, TRYING TO GET HAIR DONE

ON PEOPLE.

HEY! GET THAT COOKIE OUT OF YOUR

MOUTH.

>> WHY?

>> IT'S LIKE A PRODUCTION SHOW.

IT'S LIKE A PLAY.

>> ALL RIGHT, WE GOT PEOPLE

WAITING OUTSIDE, YOU KNOW.

>> BANGLES. DO WE HAVE BANGLES?

>> PUT THOSE PANTS ON.

ALL RIGHT, WHO'S READY?

YOU READY?

OH, YOU GOT NO MAKEUP YET.

>> I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN.

>> NEED YOU OUTSIDE.

WHOEVER'S READY, OUTSIDE.

>> I'M READY.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

>> JUST WATCH HIS HEAD.

DON'T HIT THE BEAM.

WE NEED TO STEP YOU BACK.

HOLD ON.

WHERE'S THE OTHER PIECE?

THIS GOES HERE.

>> YEAH.

WE'LL MAKE IT THROUGH.

I'VE NEVER BEEN IN YET, EITHER.

>> I'M TRYING TO GET THIS WIRE

UNDER THE CARPET OR UNDER THE

DOOR OR SOMETHING.

IT CAN'T JUST BE HERE.

>> RIGHT.

>> HOW MUCH OF THAT BLACK

MATERIAL DO YOU HAVE LEFT?

>> NONE.

I NEEDED IT AND I NEED MORE.

>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

>> YEAH, DUDE.

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> IT'S A TINY LITTLE BIT OF

MATERIAL.

>> I WAS GONNA USE THAT TO BLACK

OUT THE FRONT DOOR.

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> IT'S BACKWARDS.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes