The Angriest Man in Brooklyn

Wait. Wait. Let me just-

Let's get Daddy! Everybody get Daddy!

Let's get your Daddy!

It's not me. It's the camera.

- It's not working.

- If the camera doesn't work well...

then I'm gonna take it home with me.

- Oh, look at you.

- Oh, my God. Ohh!

Oh, my God. I can watch them all day long.

Hi, Papa.

What are you thinking?

That I'm happy.

Michael, you're on the air.

Yeah, my kid goes to school

in Staten Island...

They got these new hockey masks

and they shatter on impact.

You want to sue somebody.

You sue that knucklehead.

Michael, Michael, Michael. They're

flushing your tax dollars down the crapper.

- What's the matter with you?

- They shouldn't be making things like that.

I took the kid to the doctor

and the doctor told me-

As Henry Altmann waited in traffic...

on the way to his doctor's appointment...

he mentally added subwoofers

in small cars to things he hated.

On his short list was also

dog crap, car alarms...

indecipherable parking signs,

double baby strollers...

ass-crack fashion, men's cologne...

bubble gum, bicycles, hamsters...

garbage trucks, neighbors,

metal hangers, TV remotes...

greeting cards, flip-flops,

fliers for cheap haircuts, fat people...

pigeons, The Weather Channel,

smell of urine, new mothers...

credit card offers,

blocked phone numbers...

big umbrellas, F train, J.F.K., B.Q. E...

A.T.M. Service fees,

99 Cent Stores, radio personalities...

networking, Starbucks, the Knicks...

the Knicks, the Knicks...

and God.

What the hell?

I ask you, what the hell?

That was a red light you ran!

Can't you tell red from green?

You took the test, right,

when you got your driver's license?

Remember that? Multiple choice,

number two pencil, dirty walls?

And what does red mean?

Does it mean "go"?

Does it mean slam into my car,

is that what it means?

- It-It was yellow.

- Oh, yellow!

Oh, yellow like your cab

or yellow like a daffodil?

Like a pretty little daffodil?

Does daffodil mean step on the gas

and hit my car in your country?

Is that it? Is daffodil your excuse

to f*** up my life?

Destroy my tranquillity?

- I- I- I- I...

- I- I- I- I...

No, I am gonna get your license revoked...

and have you sent back

to wherever the f*** you're from!

- Racist!

- Racist?

How can I be a racist?

I don't know what race you are.

- Uzbek.

- Uzbek? You're right.

I hate Uzbeks.

I hate them all. But particularly you!

You dead.

What? What did you say?

You too, mother-

As Sharon Gill

stared at the woman and her pet-

She was consumed with grief

over her own cat, Harold.

Three days ago,

Harold had jumped out the window.

Afterward, she learned that

this was not uncommon with cats.

The fact that Harold landed on his feet

10 floors below was of little consolation.

Oh!

Sharon understood

that Harold was a trigger.

That she was emotionally exhausted.

Ohh.

Still, caring more for

a dead cat than her sick patients...

was clearly a case

of clinical depersonalization.

Open.

Wider.

Excuse me.

No one had ever mentioned this reality...

when she was a bright,

shiny medical student.

Uh, Doctor?

When she believed she was going

to save the world one patient at a time.

Doctor.

No one told her

that care does not equal need.

Care being finite, need being endless.

Doctor! Move, man. Move.

What care equals...

is 15 minutes per patient.

- Doctor, Mrs. Fine is in 4.

- Who?

Mrs. Fine! She's one of

Dr. Fielding's patients...

who you're covering, remember?

And we got Wong in 3

and Peterson in 9.

Okay, all right.

Listen, I just need a minute.

- But she's been in there over an hour!

- Uh-huh.

Sharon wondered, not for the first time...

if poor, dear Harold

hadn't made the right choice.

Yeah, it's me.

Aaron there?

Haven't seen him.

Did he leave me a message?

Nope.

Just tell him I'll be a little late

for the meeting.

Mr. Altmann.

I don't know when!

When I get there!

The doctor will be in to see you

as soon as she can.

He. Dr. Fielding is a he.

Yeah, well, Dr. Fielding has been

called away, unfortunately.

So Dr. Gill will be covering

his patients today.

- When?

- As soon as she can. She's very busy.

Now, please, put that gown on!

I don't need a gown!

I'm just meeting him... Her.

Oh.

What the hell?

I'm asking, what the hell?

I've been waiting here for over two hours.

I'm very sorry, Mr. Altmann.

It's just been a bit crazy.

- Who are you?

- I'm Dr. Gill.

I want Dr. Fielding.

I understand,

but he was sent away on an emergency.

Emergency. Bullshit! He just wanted

to get a jump on the weekend.

Sir, I was able to look over your scan...

Are you even old enough

to practice medicine?

Has Dr. Fielding gone over

the results with you?

No.

No, as in he hasn't called?

He thinks it's migraines.

I have headaches, bad ones.

- When did he say that?

- When I was here last.

That was before the scan?

Yeah.

What?

- Can you please sit down?

- Why?

- Because I would like for you to sit.

- Why does it matter?

- Because I need you to sit down.

- I need to stand.

Fine, stand.

The results showed a brain aneurysm.

Wow.

Mr. Altmann...

do you know what a brain aneurysm is?

My uncle died of one.

One minute he was brushing his teeth,

the next, he was dead.

Didn't even have time to rinse.

It's a ballooning-out

of an artery wall in the brain.

- And when it pops?

- That would be a hemorrhagic stroke.

And I'm dead.

The seriousness depends on the size

and location of the aneurysm.

How big is it?

I'm an internist.

It's best if you speak to a specialist.

- You have the scan right there! How big?

- I understand.

- But there's a specialist, a neurologist

at Brooklyn... - You know, right?

Dr. Bernstein. I already called.

I made arrangements...

What are you scared of?

It's not your brain!

Just look at the scan and tell me!

It's big.

And the location?

Please, sir, I think it's best

that we talk to a neurologist.

The location?

By the brain stem.

Untreatable?

It's not for me to say.

You already have.

How long has it been there?

A long time, I'm betting.

Why didn't they find it till now?

Are you incompetent

or you just don't care?

- That's it, you don't care, do you?

- No. No, no, no.

- No what?

- No, I do care!

Bullshit! You're thinking,

how inconvenient, how annoying...

how difficult, how disagreeable.

Poor little princess. Poor, poor you.

Well, excuse me for dying!

Sir, I need you to stay calm.

It's bad for your blood pressure.

- Please sit back down.

- How long do I have?

- I don't know.

- Yeah, you do.

- No, I don't.

- It's all over your face like a pinched lemon!

The Lemon Princess.

You think you can hurt my feelings?

You don't care, remember?

This is just a job! You don't feel this!

Probably takes a diamond commercial

or a sick cat...

to get some feelings out of you!

Oh. Sick cats,

is that what makes you tick?

That's what makes

the Lemon Princess get all wah-wah?

Here I am, your sick and dying pet.

Tell your f***ing pet how long he has!

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