The Anniversary Party Page #3

Much laughter and clapping.

JOE:

(in the archway)

Jack. Did you compose that yourself?

CAL:

Absolutely.

JOE:

Had a little help?

CAL:

Absolutely not.

JOE:

It has your ring.

CAL:

I'm not that good.

JERRY:

Cal, my wife Judy.

JUDY:

Nice to meet you.

CAL:

I think we've met, actually. No? At

another one of these things?

JUDY:

No, I don't think so.

JERRY:

(to Cal)

Congratulations on the Academy Award.

Great performance. Really warranted.

SOPHIA:

He thought so.

JERRY:

Sally always manages to get robbed.

SALLY:

(a mortified grin)

Enough about me.

SOPHIA:

Evie has a little something for you.

Evie shakes her head.

SOPHIA (CONT'D)

You do.

EVIE:

(even)

I don't think so.

SALLY:

Since when are you so shy?

EVIE:

(her mother's daughter)

Never.

SOPHIA:

(bright smile)

Honey, we have gifts for you and all

sorts of surprises. Where is America? I

know she's here somewhere.

Joe reaches for the gifts.

JOE:

I'll take them.

SOPHIA:

No, I have a little talking to do with

America. Privately. I'll find her.

SALLY:

(to Sophia)

In the kitchen.

JOE:

Who'd like to go and find Otis?

EVIE:

Me!

JACK:

I guess.

JUDY:

The infamous dog?

JOE:

He's the best dog in the world.

(to Judy)

They're both coming tonight. Not my

idea.

JUDY:

Ours.

JOE:

It's Jerry's worst idea.

CAL:

What's that?

JOE:

The neighbors from hell. The kind that

lay in wait. I'd rather move actually.

Wouldn't I?

(to Sally)

Wouldn't I?

SALLY:

(small smile)

Yes.

JOE:

(to the kids)

Okay. Last one to find Otis is a smelly

old bum.

Joe goes off with the children to find Otis. Cal sits at the

piano, plays.

INT. FOYER - FRONT DOOR - CONTINUOUS

Joe holds Evie in one arm. Jack stands beside him, holds his

hand. MONICA and RYAN ROSE face him across the threshold --

the NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS. She's in her late twenties - and

beautiful, eyes everywhere - star struck and house struck.

Ryan is somewhat older, a little awkward in company,

swallowing resentment and a little self righteous.

JOE:

Well, hello you two.

(putting Evie down; to Jack)

These are the people who live next door.

Say hello.

Jack does.

JOE (CONT'D)

And close the door, Jack. Because if we

leave it open, Otis will run out and you

know what will happen then?

JACK:

Uh, uh.

JOE:

He'll run next door into their backyard

and he'll bark and bark and bark and eat

their pitbull for his dinner. Is it a

pitbull?

RYAN:

(not amused)

No, actually.

JOE:

(to Jack)

Oh whatever. We don't want that to

happen, do we?

JACK:

No?

RYAN:

It's a rottweiler, actually.

(to Jack)

I don't think our rottweiler is in any

danger, Jack.

JOE:

Well, Jack and I are very relieved.

RYAN:

I thought this was a party. Are we going

to talk about the dog thing?

MONICA:

Please, Ryan.

JOE:

(kisses her cheek and shakes

his hand)

No, he's absolutely right. You're

absolutely right, Ryan. Dog talk must be

banned. Canine conversations are

completely discouraged... it's really

good of you to join us. Can I get you a

drink?

RYAN:

Not for me, thanks.

An awkward moment.

MONICA:

(checks with Ryan)

Something soft.

JOE:

Right away. Are you sure you wouldn't

like something soft, Ryan?

RYAN:

I'm sure, yes.

Sally has watched some of this from the archway, joins them

super-friendly.

SALLY:

Hi. Monica and Ryan?

MONICA:

Sally?

SALLY:

Yes. And you've met Joe.

RYAN:

Yes.

SALLY:

(a deep breath)

Well, so glad you decided to come.

MONICA:

We could hardly say no.

SALLY:

Oh?

Joe slips the coke into Monica's hand.

SALLY (CONT'D)

(takes the gift)

Thank you. This was so unnecessary. I

hope you've noticed that Otis isn't

barking as much. We keep him in at

night.

RYAN:

At 4:
30 today he barked for a solid

fifteen minutes. I have it on tape.

SALLY:

You're keeping a record, are you?

RYAN:

It's just very distracting when you're

trying to work.

MONICA:

Ryan.

RYAN:

(to Joe)

I'm sure you understand.

SALLY:

Well the neighborhood is full of dogs,

and it's not always Otis.

RYAN:

Well today it was Otis. And you should

keep him away from our yard. Because

Sheila will defend herself.

MONICA:

Ryan!

SALLY:

(cuts off response from Joe; to

Ryan)

Are you working on a new book?

RYAN:

(caught short; flattered)

Well, yes, actually.

MONICA:

He always has two or three going...

SALLY:

Really? Joe can't manage more than one

at a time. With huge gaps in between.

NEW ANGLE:

MAC and CLAIR FORSYTHE wave from the door. Clair's arms are

full of presents. Mac carries three video cameras under his

arm. He's got Otis by the collar.

MAC:

You lose this?

JOE:

(re:
Otis)

Ah there's our snookums now.

RYAN:

Yes, well, but I haven't won a Booker

either. Or the Whitebread.

MAC:

The gate was open.

SALLY:

Well, not yet.

(she reacts to Mac)

The gate was open?

JOE:

It's taken care of.

MONICA:

I think Ryan needs a new publisher. I

think he's outgrown him. They're just

not doing their job.

A silence. Awkward smiles go all around.

SALLY:

Hors d'oeuvres or something?

MONICA:

Yes, great! It's a beautiful house.

SALLY:

Thank you. I understand you're an

interior decorator.

MONICA:

Yes.

SALLY:

I so wish I'd known.

MONICA:

Well, whoever did this is amazing.

SALLY:

I did it.

JOE:

(comes on them with the

Forsythes in tow)

She rarely cops to it.

(kisses Sally's cheek)

Otis is home.

CLAIR:

(re:
the gifts)

Where can I put these?

Sally takes the gifts from her.

CLAIR (CONT'D)

What a f***ing day! We only just got a

sitter. I don't know her from f***ing

Adam. She could be a serial killer. I'm

going to have to call every ten minutes.

You have to let me give out the number.

SALLY:

Of course.

MAC:

She already has.

CLAIR:

It's alright, isn't it?

SALLY:

Of course it's alright.

MAC:

Clair is a hovering mother.

CLAIR:

I'm not.

SALLY:

This is Monica and Ryan. Mac and Clair.

Clair takes a glass of champagne off the tray as they make

their way down the hall.

CLAIR:

(a wide professionally

ingratiating smile)

So nice...

MONICA:

And for us... Truly.

CLAIR:

Well...

MONICA:

You will never know.

CLAIR:

(pleased)

Oh.

(to Sally)

I have a four-thirty call. AM. So we

may have to leave early.

SALLY:

Why didn't you bring him?

CLAIR:

What?

SALLY:

Why didn't you bring him?

CLAIR:

(searches)

He's allergic.

SALLY:

Oh.

CLAIR:

To dander. Otis.

SALLY:

Oh.

CLAIR:

Didn't I say?

SALLY:

Well, probably.

CLAIR:

They can tell from the eyelashes, you

know? He's got eyelashes yay long. They

must be a foot long. The older you are

when you have a baby, the more likely

this stuff is to crop up.

SALLY:

(muted)

Oh.

The Roses are happy to stand there on the fringe. Next to

someone they've only seen on screen and magazine covers.

Clair's not in the least put off by them. She manages to

smile at them inclusively from time to time.

CLAIR:

So they tell me. Not soon enough, of

course.

(kisses her cheek)

How are you, Sal? You look fantastic.

It changes your life, you know. A baby.

It puts everything in perspective,

doesn't it. Doesn't it, Mac? You can't

be the center of your own world, anymore.

MAC:

(as grounded as Clair isn't)

It's an object lesson in grace.

(on seeing Cal Gold on the back

porch)

Wow! Look who's here before me! My

leading man is on time for once.

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