The Ant Bully Page #2

...if I happen to forget to before I leave.

He's a grown man now."

His exact words.

I don't know.

Do you have any references?

References?

There's one.

I don't think I should.

You don't think you should, huh?

You don't think?

So who does your thinking for you?

Your mommy?

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy,

what do I do?

I'm just a little baby

that can't think for myself.

Please wipe my little bottom for me.

Wipe me. Oh, oh, please, wipe me.

-Give me that stupid contract.

-Yes, sir. A very mature decision.

Enjoy a world that's entirely bug free

Just sign right here

And leave the killing to me

I wrote that.

-Are you all right?

-I'm fine.

Spindle? Spindle?

Spindle. You saved it.

Oh, well, come here.

Well, someone's getting

an extra moldy root tonight.

-Okay, okay.

-Zoc.

Spindle, light.

-Mother, help us.

-Oh, no.

To attack without provocation,

without reason...

...just because they can, it's--

It's barbaric.

But what can we do?

We are lost.

No. We are saved.

This is our salvation.

A potion?

What exactly does it do?

Hey. Hey, hey.

Human. Come with us.

Shoo. Shoo. Get away. Get away.

I got a fan. I'm windy.

I am windy.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Scanning. Scanning. Scanning.

Stop! Hey, come on! Cut it out!

What are you doing out of bed,

tiny Lucas?

Who are you? What did you do to me?

Let me go!

Gross. Hey, cut it out.

Put me down! Hey. Stop. Put me down.

Put me down!

What is that? Oh, he smells.

-It's the human.

-It's Peanut, the Destroyer.

Oh, my.

-All right, Peanut, this way.

-It's small.

-What is it?

-Touch it.

-Don't touch it.

-Hey.

-Poke it.

-He's so soft.

-His skeleton is on the inside.

-He's inside out?

Where are you taking me? Help!

Who are you? What did you do to me?

Let me go!

Human...

...you have been brought

before the council...

...to face judgment

for crimes against the colony.

Read the charges.

"This human-destructor beast...

...hereafter referred to

as Peanut the Destroyer...

...did willfully

and with malice aforethought...

...crush the food-storage chambers...

...flood all of the lower

hatching chambers...

...and douse the colony

with the dreaded yellow rain."

Hey, come on, I had to go.

Sentencing of the human

will be handed down...

...by the queen herself.

Greetings, my children...

...and to our unusual guest...

...a human that threatens

the very existence of our colony.

Wait a second! Wait, wait, wait.

Time out.

How was I supposed to know

ants had feelings or families or trials?

-You're just a bunch of stupid ants.

-Destroy the Destroyer!

-Throw him in the pit.

-Let's eat him!

No, wait. We are not mindless savages.

This human should be studied.

-And then we'll eat him.

-Yeah.

Eat! Eat! Eat!

Order. Order.

Be still, be still.

Tonight we have a choice.

We could destroy this human

and make safe this day.

Or we could change

the nature of this human...

...and perhaps create

a brighter future for all ants.

I therefore sentence the human

to live and work in the colony...

...to learn our ways.

He must become an ant.

-What?

-No. No, my queen.

What if he does not become an ant?

Okay, I mean, come on.

That would be regrettable.

But-- But who will teach him our ways?

-I will.

-Hova?

It is done.

Let us continue our work.

That's it?

How long am I gonna be like this?

I wanna go home.

Wait. This is inhuman.

Yes, it is.

Hello, Peanut?

Destroyer?

Hello? We have to go.

It's time to start your training.

Where are you?

Okay, okay. It's simple.

All I have to do is run past the guards,

then escape the anthill...

-...and not get eaten by anything.

-Well, hello there.

You know, there's a million things

I wanna ask you.

When were you hatched?

Are you--? Are you male or female?

And how do you tell the difference?

Is it--? Oh, is that how?

Hey, stop peeking.

Or-- Or I'll stomp on you.

Well, I wouldn't if I were you.

You see, I'm the only friend you've got.

You're gonna eat me.

You know, now that you mention it,

you do look soft and chewy...

...but I promised the queen I wouldn't.

Cross your heart.

What? Oh, all right.

Cross my heart, I will not eat you.

I said, cross your heart, not your butt.

I just did.

See, there, did it again.

Strange custom.

I'm still not going.

-Peanut, you need to--

-My name's Lucas, not Peanut.

Lucas.

Well, Lucas. You heard the queen.

You must become an ant

if you ever want to return home.

And how am I supposed to do that?

Well, you just have

to find your place in the colony.

So, Lucas,

do you have any special skills?

I can make milk come out

of my sister's nose.

Okay, well, let's try foraging.

The instructor

is a personal friend of mine.

I'm sure she'd love to help.

Peanut? The Destroyer?

I had to move out

of my nest because of you.

I lost everything.

Took me all morning to rebuild.

Hova, don't tell me

that you are mentoring this-- This-- This....

It's Lucas.

Why is he covered in trash? Is he crazy?

Because I don't teach crazy ants.

No, no, no. He calls the trash "clothes."

They like keeping

their gender traits hidden.

He's male.

Okay, Lucas, you're on the blue team.

-Oh, man. That's not fair.

-Come on.

Hey, hey, hey, quiet.

And suck in that thorax.

Like everything in the colony,

foraging is a team effort.

In this test, each team must act

as a single unit to avoid obstacles...

...retrieve the sweet rock

and return to the nest.

No ant gets left behind.

First team back wins.

Any questions?

-Hello, baby.

-Fugax.

Well, isn't it true that scout ants,

such as myself...

...lead an exciting life of adventure

and intrigue.

-Fugax!

-While foragers, such as you...

...just walk around and pick up sticks.

Questions, anyone?

-Oh, sir?

-The guy with the crooked mandibles.

What kind of adventures?

Well, I'm glad you asked.

-Fugax.

-Gather round, young scouts.

In my travels, I have journeyed

far beyond the great flat rock.

You mean, the street?

No. The great flat rock...

...where the humans

ride in their giant metal cocoons.

Cars.

Did I call on you?

Who invited Captain Party Pooper?

Fugax, meet the Destroyer.

Destroyer?

Now, are there any other--?

Are there any other questions

about your assignment?

Yeah, what's a sweet rock?

Go.

-Bridge.

-Stack up.

Bridge, hooyah.

Come on, Peanut.

Hello, I can do it myself.

Hey, guys. I think he's dead.

I'm not dead.

-Ladder.

-Ladder, hooyah.

-Come on.

-Grab hold.

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