The Arrangement Page #2

---

smoother, but more important...

...it makes the cigarette

burn more evenly.

Now. What's another way

of saying "burn more evenly"?

The word is "clean. "

The clean one.

Gentlemen, may I present A Time to Live.

There's a time to live...

...when everything is clean,

fresh, young and good.

Every man has that time.

He only needs to take it.

Just great.

Eddie.

And when you do,

take along Zephyr, the clean one.

Made to burn clean with-

She's beautiful, isn't she?

Zephyr. The clean one.

Part of your time to live.

That's it, gentlemen, that's all.

"The clean one. "

Do you realize

the significance of that claim?

I'm sure you do.

Thank you. Thank you. That's it.

Eddie, marvelous presentation.

- Bye-bye.

- Thank you.

- Just doing a great job.

- Really an excellent presentation.

What the hell

are you always laughing at?

- Do you mind?

- Yeah.

- When it's at me.

- Oh, Eddie. Will you cut it out?

Been around here three months.

Every time I look at her, she's sneering.

I'm just wondering.

- Wondering what?

- Same thing you're wondering.

Why do you always have her,

I mean, around the office?

I don't always. Just when

I wanna get a reaction to something.

You know, she's on my personal payroll

because she's got a built-in crap detector.

Very useful. So you watch it.

You're great.

Delicious. May I have another one?

- Yes, of course.

- Beautiful grapes.

What are they, Thompson Seedless?

What- What amuses you?

All right.

We'll talk some other day perhaps, huh?

We'll have another little talk,

just a little chat.

And he's been this way all along?

He's said exactly one sentence

since the accident.

And that was?

"I'm not going back. "

To work, he meant.

Mrs. Anderson, as your analyst...

...I must warn you.

Something serious is going on here.

Yes, but what? Tell me what.

For one thing, I think we should

stop calling it "the accident. "

- That's an inaccurate-

- That's what it was.

There's a Chinese proverb:

The peasant always hangs himself

in the landlord's doorway.

Oh, bosh. I'm not his landlord,

I'm his wife.

But is he your husband?

I'm sorry.

I can discuss that.

Remember how he used to be?

Well, ever since

he broke up with her, he...

Well, I told you.

He's lost all interest in it.

Not only with me,

but as far as I can tell, with anyone.

Well, "It's better than if he were

off with some tramp," I tell myself.

"More to marriage than sex,"

I tell myself.

By the way, I have your check.

You're really convinced there

was nothing more to that relationship?

A sex thing. Pure and simple.

She was the office tramp.

That happens. I understand that.

Now, I must admit, there are nights

when I feel ready to go through the roof.

I'll fire that girl.

If he can get along without it, I can.

And it's highly unlikely

that he'll ever leave you, is that it?

Because he'll never find anyone

who'll put up with what you had to-

That's the way I am. I waited that

b*tch out and I'm going to wait this out.

I'm raising the question,

is this what's best for you?

That's the way I am!

Well...

...we can never be too sure of that.

Let me just say this.

In every suicide,

there's an element of revenge.

He's very angry with somebody.

Probably himself, but-

- I hate...

- Who is it you hate, Eddie?

Is it me?

Eddie, tell me.

- Oh, I wish, just for once...

- Don't!

T rust me enough to tell me

what she meant to you.

I can take it.

Eddie, just once, say it all.

Then we can both forget it.

Eddie.

Please.

Little over- Over a year ago.

Christmas.

The office party.

What're you opening that now for?

It says, "Open immediately.

Organic matter, perishable. "

From your friends at the office.

- Look at this.

- Oh, isn't that nice?

Thank you. Appreciate it.

- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

- I love my present.

- What did you expect?

Anything said in your hearing

is piped straight to that throne.

- Every room you' re in is bugged.

- Not true.

They call you Finnegan's fink.

- I'm hired by Mr. Finnegan-

- I know why you're hired by Mr. Finnegan.

He doesn't pay me for that.

Get your feet off of my desk.

Drop you off, Gwen?

Mr. Anderson and I

have unfinished business.

Merry Christmas.

- Bye, boss.

- Bye, boss. Merry Christmas.

Do men take that crap from you?

Why do you wear those?

They make things happen.

Then it was just a sex thing.

Yeah, that's all it was. Just a sex thing.

What do you mean

you're wondering the same-?

- How much longer?

- "How much longer" what?

- You can take it. I don't believe that-

- Excuse me.

- people who smoke Zephyr cigarettes

are safer from cancer.

Locking up.

You don't know what's false and true.

You know what will sell.

- Are you patronizing me?

- You don't know what you think.

- Are you being moral with me? You?

- Yes, I know, I'm nothing.

I never was, but you,

you could have been-

What? What?

What you could have been.

What happened to you, Eddie?

It must kill you to think

what you might have been.

Wash him out of your mouth...

...before you get superior with me, you-

What happened, Eddie?

By the way...

...where did you do your carrying on?

I'm just curious. Her place?

Oh, I forgot. Yeah, I- I guess her place.

What I don't understand...

...is how come it went on for so long?

Because it did, didn't it?

Oh, on and off.

Eddie, remember the time

you took a leave from the office...

...went east to research

your profile on Chet Collier?

That son of a b*tch.

- I always suspected that you-

- You suspected right.

I took her east with me.

My research girl.

Oh, God.

I wish just once, just once,

you'd said to me:

"Let's go. Come with me

and be my research girl. "

How did she talk you into that?

I don't want to know.

Good night.

That b*tch.

"Just a sex thing"? Tell her the truth.

Tell her about the months

you told me you were gonna leave her.

Truth is, I need you both.

Then tell her that for a start.

That word, "succulent"...

...lends itself

to some unfortunate humor.

Did you tell her?

Couldn't this morning. Don't rush me.

It's clean as a breeze

- Oh, Eddie.

- Smoke refreshed

My girlfriend quit this morning.

She's going back to New Y ork.

She said to me, "The screwing I'm getting

is not worth the screwing I'm getting. "

So when it gets up to here,

instead of a vacation, I take a leave.

Pick up a job writing a profile,

an interview, something.

T o keep something going in me.

This magazine's asking me to write a

profile of a politician named Chet Collier.

Most of the work

will be in Connecticut-

- Don't con me, Eddie.

- You could be working for me.

A secretary, researcher or-

Gwen, do this one last thing for me

and then-

I don't expect anything from you.

Please come.

I used to think it was just in the office...

...but you're the same way everywhere.

And you'll never change.

You're a liar, Ed.

Like most people.

But you lie to yourself.

Rate this script:1.0 / 1 vote