The Assassination Bureau Page #5

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friends, and buy shares in armaments.

Krupp, Skoda, Vickers-Armstrong.

Take your pick.

Europe is already in ferment!

- Good morning, Miss Winter.

- Good morning.

- You evidently sleep well in Vienna.

- A luxury I appreciate.

Our bureau hasn't a branch here.

A day off is a pleasant prospect.

Are you impressed with the

emperor's forces? Thank you.

How ridiculous men are. All this

dressing up and rattling of sabers.

Who's that barbarous gentleman

taking the salute?

Prince Ferdinand of Ruthenia.

He's Austria's Balkan puppet.

He's here in Vienna to be impressed

by his master's military might.

When will we learn that force

is meaningless?

Never. After all,

you're paying to have me killed

because you believe

that you are right and I am wrong.

It's nothing personal.

It's just that...

Oh, my God!

Die, Ruthenian dogs,

long live Carpathia!

Long live Carpathia!

Thank you, Miss Winter.

- I... I thought...

- That the bullet was meant for me.

Sadly, I have no monopoly

in the assassination business.

- Now, I insist you have a brandy.

- No, thank you, I...

Your mind needs clarifying.

You're paying to have me killed,

yet when you think I might be,

you try to save me.

A revelation comparable

with Saint Paul's at Tarsus.

Surely that calls for a celebration.

I'm quite out of breath.

- You're a very good dancer.

- Of course.

My father liked me

to excel... in everything.

Your father. You know something,

I don't think you've really grown up.

- I was born old.

- Well, maybe that's the trouble.

Now, while we're in Vienna,

there's a certain Professor Freud...

Don't mention that name.

To meddle with my basic instincts

would be professional suicide.

That's what I had in mind.

- I like it here.

- Good.

You wait till you taste the Blutwurst.

Where's that waiter got to?

Get me his apron.

Put the bomb inside the sausage.

Quickly, man, and be careful.

Mind the knife!

The slightest touch of metal

will set it off.

Drink to the days

The days going by

Some day we'll meet again

Remember me till then

While we're young

While we're young

There are songs to be sung

And a pledge that's warm and gay

"I promise to

Remember you

"The way you are today"

While we're young

While we're young

There are songs to be sung

And a pledge that's warm and gay

Excellencies.

The Archduke Ferdinand of Ruthenia

has decided to visit this establishment.

It is an honor, Excellency.

His Highness wants

some relaxation.

We were against it,

after this morning's incident.

You must see that everything

is in order.

Of course. This is a most

respectable establishment.

I hope not. I told you,

he wanted some relaxation.

Now, leave it to me and get out!

Lift up your glass on high

Drink to the days

The days going by

Some day we'll meet again

Remember me till then

While we're young

While we're young

There are songs to be sung

And a pledge that's warm and gay

"I promise to

Remember you

"The way you are today"

While we're young

While we're young

There are songs to be sung

And a pledge that's warm and gay

"I promise to

Remember you

"The way you are today"

- The Blutwurst.

- Here we are, mein Herr,

the riesen Blutwurst,

the greatest delicacy in all Vienna.

The pigs for the Blutwurst are bred

here in our Vienna woods.

They were slaughtered

only this morning.

The blood must be quite fresh.

Yes, yes.

In Vienna we have the best

of everything.

Enjoy yourselves.

And drink it down, down

Down, down, down

Down, down, down

Down, down

Lift up your glass on high

Drink to the days

The days gone by

Waiter!

Some day we'll meet again

Remember me till then

Lift up your glass on high

A sausage! But what did I say?

This is indeed a place of fun!

Excellency, apologies. Allow me.

No, no, no. Put it on the table.

The Blutwurst is my favorite dish.

Bring me a knife.

- Come on!

- But why? Why are we going?

You're acting completely like a lunatic!

It was just warming up in there.

Evidently.

- That poor man.

- Archduke Ferdie?

Waste no tears on him.

A petty tyrant, if ever there was one.

An historic event. You should

make an excellent journalist.

You're always on the spot.

- But that bomb was meant for you.

- Precisely.

I thought you said the Bureau

had no one here in Vienna.

They sent someone.

I wonder how they knew I was here.

Perhaps you've been followed.

- Indeed. I have, my dear. By you.

- Me?

At Lord Bostwick's command,

no doubt.

How did you know?

He said not to say...

He also didn't tell you he's

vice chairman of our bureau.

Lord Bostwick?

- I can't believe it.

- A man of many parts.

- He's a villain.

- Well, he'll hear no more from you.

On the contrary. I intend to

keep him fully informed.

You what?

I want to know exactly why

he wants control of the Bureau.

I shall wire him at once

you're on your way to Venice.

Can't you make any more

of it than this?

- There's nothing but facts!

- We mustn't inflame the situation.

Ruthenia and Carpathia are puppets!

Russia and Austria pull the strings.

So punch in some big headlines:

"Russia Warns Austria"!

"Austria Warns Russia"!

"The Kaiser Summons

his General Staff"!

You have private sources

of information?

Of course. So get on with it, man.

We're running a newspaper.

Give them news!

This is a stroke of luck, Muntzov.

Ferdinand's death is the spark

I needed. Cheer up.

To a Russian,

death is a serious matter.

- Life is no joke, either.

- But time is running out.

I've got my new members picked.

But I need the Bureau

in my hands now.

We must make sure once

and for all in Venice.

Thank heaven for Cesare Spado.

He has all the skill of the Borgias.

All my friends in London tell me

I'm getting a little fat.

I can't resist.

My dearest one! You haven't put

vanilla in the zabaglione!

You know how I dislike it!

Nonsense, Cesare.

Just peel of tangerine.

I prepared it myself.

There's not a drop of vanilla in it.

I can taste it distinctly.

There is positively no vanilla

in the zabaglione.

Taste it again.

Perhaps you're right.

Eat it up now or I shall be

very offended.

I will not speak to you.

Or let you...

No, no, no.

Eleanora, my angel...

It's delicious.

I tell everyone your cooking

is supreme.

The taste has quite disappeared.

You've outdone yourself,

my darling.

Eleanora, my dear,

it's just possible that a man

with whom I have business

connections may call here.

- I would prefer not to see him.

- As you wish.

His name is Dragomiloff,

but he may not declare himself.

I would like you to describe carefully

anyone who may call.

What a dreadful fuss.

This is our finest view,

the room Signor Dragomiloff

always prefers, signora.

You will see the sun rise up behind

the Santa Maria della Salute.

- A sight never to be forgotten.

- A little misunderstanding.

I am not a signora and therefore

require a separate room.

Scusi, signorina.

What a pity.

I hope you have another

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