The Astronaut Farmer Page #7

The altitude would be 100 miles

and the speed would be 25,000...

Fire-protective fabric.

- Test.

- Testing.

The rocket will be launched from the barn,

heading 72.51 degrees...

Five thousand linear feet 30-gauge...

Two hundred linear feet...

Oxygen could last

three times longer than needed...

...but let's not put that to the test.

You know, when you're a kid,

you wanna be just like your dad.

Then when you're a teenager...

...you don't wanna have

anything to do with him.

Then when you grow up,

you end up just like him.

My dad showed me one thing

when he died.

He wasn't dying, he was giving up.

No matter what happens to me today,

my children will see that I didn't give up.

And I can die knowing that.

Yeah.

Man.

We have been out here way too long.

Okay. Yeah, okay. Okay.

- What?

- Headquarters. Rocket Man's buying fuel.

Suspect Charles Farmer. Male Caucasian.

Approximately 5'10", 170 pounds.

Last seen in a brown Ford pickup

bearing east on Route 9.

Now, this launch is gonna take

all the strength...

...and all the focus this family has.

You're my crew, my teammates.

Well, thank you, honey.

I can use these, you know.

- Is Daddy gonna come back?

- Yeah, I'm coming back.

Don't you worry.

- I love you, honey.

- I love you too.

It'll be okay. Don't you worry.

I love you guys.

Now, Shepard.

If anything's gonna go wrong,

it'll go wrong in the first 10 minutes.

- After that, I'll be airborne.

- Dad--

It's okay. I'm not worried about you.

- You can do it.

- All right.

Audie...

...it's gonna be okay.

Please don't break my heart.

I won't.

Step away from the vehicle!

Show me your hands!

Put your hands up! Let me see them!

- Right there, right there.

- Let me see those hands.

Turn around slowly.

I expect you home for dinner.

Dad, do you copy?

Now we look like asses.

Control Booth.

Preparation for launch underway.

Local temperature, 65 degrees.

Wind speed, four knots.

Opening canopy doors.

Cabin pressure holding 5.8.

Fuel and oxygen are steady.

Power still looks good.

Status is good.

Canopy doors cleared for launch.

All remaining units

report to the Farmer residence.

- Ready for system check.

- Roger.

Hydraulics okay. Fuel pressure's okay.

All systems go.

- Roger.

- Vessel restraints unlocked.

Ignition system on.

Abort system on standby.

Cleared for launch at zero hour, 9 a.m.

Roger.

Ten...

...nine...

...eight...

...seven, six...

...five, four...

...three...

...two, one.

It's okay. It's okay.

Fuel is go.

- Go, Dad, go!

- Go, Dad!

That is so huge.

Charlie Farmer.

Oxygen in the cabin is good.

Pressure's holding.

The isolated battery's okay.

Everything's okay. Son of a b*tch.

It's getting a little smoother.

A little smoother.

Cut off, tower. Jettison green. Disarm.

Charles Farmer launched!

No, he didn't.

Capsule separation, green, okay.

We did it, Shepard!

We did it!

We made it, Mom.

This is where the dreams live.

I'm up here.

Africa.

- Hi, Daddy.

- Hi, Daddy.

God, I wish you were with me.

I wish you guys were here so bad.

Have you heard about this guy,

Charlie Farmer, who built his own rocket?

Shepard.

Shepard, can you hear me?

Shepard.

- Shepard?

- Dad.

Shepard.

Shepard, can you hear me?

Come on.

- Where is he?

- Dad, please come in.

- Dad, are you there? Dad?

- It's okay.

Control Booth to Dreamer.

Control Booth to Dreamer. Are you there?

It's okay.

As you no doubt have heard,

there have been unsubstantiated rumors...

...of an alleged launch

from somewhere in Texas.

And for whatever reason, this seems to be

attributed to our old friend Mr. Farmer.

We here at the FAA categorically deny

the existence of any launch.

As far as we know,

Mr. Farmer is resting comfortably...

...probably watching

this press conference on television.

Once again, no launch has taken place.

Your daddy's gonna come home soon.

So Dad launched at 0922.

So right now he's been in orbit

for eight hours, 56 minutes and 15 seconds.

Distance traveled so far

is 152,042 miles.

Well, when will he come back?

He may do 12 or 13 orbits

before he re-enters the Earth's atmosphere.

And if you figure that, then it...

What?

Well, he could end up

running out of oxygen.

I still can't locate him, Mom.

Why don't you get some rest?

- I can't, Mom. Dad needs me.

- That's an order.

I'm proud of you.

Say something, Farmer.

Shepard.

Come in, Shepard.

Shepard.

Shepard! Can you hear me?

Shepard!

Come on.

Come on.

Hello? Hello?

This is the Astronaut Farmer.

- Come in, Mission Control.

- Dad, it's Shep!

Daddy! Daddy!

I think I'm gonna miss the back yard.

Don't worry. I'm setting up coordinates

for orbit nine to 10.

You don't wanna miss

this window for re-entry.

If readings are correct,

you're off by 20 percent.

- Preparing for re-entry.

- Re-entry is go.

Good luck.

We'll be watching for you, Dad.

Where can we take you?

Home.

- Hey, Dad.

- I made it! I made it!

Good job, son.

- I love you.

- My helmet.

I want that.

- And I want the rocket.

- I want that.

Let's go to a restaurant to have pizza.

Okay. We could go there too.

My next guest has an amazing story.

He's the only private citizen

ever to build his own rocket...

...orbit the Earth, and return safely.

As you know, he orbited nine times.

Please welcome Charlie Farmer.

Charlie, come on out here.

How are you, pal? Good to see you.

Have a seat.

Let me ask you something.

How does this go over

with the wife and kids?

Most guys I know can't

get a Harley out of the wife.

You know what I'm saying?

How do you get the rocket?

I know it might sound like baloney...

...but my wife and kids were real supportive

of the whole thing all the way around.

How do you know you were

physically up to this? It's been a while--

I did some tests on myself.

I know they have that big--

What is that? The cyclotron?

What do you do, run around a tree

with a rope? What do you do?

See what I'm saying?

I didn't really have the equipment

that NASA might require.

So I just had to make up

my own tests, but...

You think they will clamp down on people?

Will people be allowed to do this after you?

You know, I was fine

when I was building the rocket.

It's when I ordered the 10,000 pounds

of rocket fuel...

- ...that the FBI--

- Well, yeah, that'd do it.

- The FBI came around to say hello to me.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know all the government people,

the NASA people, were against you.

Once this looked like

it was gonna happen...

...were they pulling for you

or feeling resistance?

Well, I'll put it this way.

To be up there

and look back down here at us...

- ...it makes it all worth it.

- Well, you did it.

Godspeed to you, Charlie. Great job.

Charlie Farmer will be right back,

right after this.

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