The Bag Man Page #5

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Sheriff. Get in here.

Sheriff.

- Keys.

- I can't find them.

Gun.

Ahh!

Pike!

(PANTING)

You all right?

Yeah. It's not deep.

(HISSES)

That's a lot of bodies

to leave lying around.

You'd rather we put

'em in the trunk?

Please, the trunk

that never closes?

(TIRES SCREECHING)

JACK:
Before I speak, is there anything

else in here I should know about?

RIVKA:
What do you mean?

Guns, knives, dynamite,

uranium, nunchucks?

Amazing what a curious

kitty can find

just lying around your

average motel room.

Guns, bodies...

I wouldn't like to

be your neighbor.

Playing the TV too loud were they?

Oh, TV! You're in the

movie now, starring role.

Oh, I know.

No. I don't think you do.

We just killed three cops.

They were ready to take us God

knows where and dump our bodies.

Even if you would've dug it up,

he still would've killed you!

What do you mean, "Dug it up"?

I mean, if you would've given

him the bag, you know...

How would they know I buried it?

Well, when you walked

in with a shovel,

I didn't think you were doing some

late-night gardening behind the motel.

Well, how do you know

it was behind the motel?

(BRAKES SCREECHING)

Fine, you buried it

in front of the motel.

I swear to God,

if that bag isn't there,

I will dig a hole and I

will bury you in the woods.

I didn't have to come for you.

I could've taken that bag

and left you there,

and they would've killed you and

they never would've found me.

I got shot saving you!

You're an idiot, you know that?

Maybe.

Yes, you are.

I'll drive.

Look for the keys.

Okay.

All right, let's shoot

these handcuffs off.

I like hearing that.

Come on.

Here.

I got it.

Okay.

Is this how your hand got shot?

If you shoot me in the hand,

I'll f***ing kill you.

You shouldn't threaten a

person pointing a gun at you.

All right. Right.

Go right to the chain.

What if I miss?

You're not gonna

shoot me from Texas.

Just come right up

to the chain, okay?

Ready?

No, no, down lower, lower.

Don't point it at my f***ing hand.

Right there. You ready?

Yeah.

Count of three.

Yeah, I think you're on the chain.

Okay.

One...

That's a hit!

No, no, no. That's a miss.

Thank you.

Seems like a waste of a perfectly

good pair of handcuffs to me.

Another time, another place.

Where are you going?

(JACK SCREAMS)

(GRUNTING)

(COUNTING IN ITALIAN)

I was thinking.

Yeah?

Let's get out of here.

Take that bag with us?

Yeah.

Where do you want to go?

You name it.

That's cute.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello.

Hello?

You're out of your mind.

Come on, you gotta go.

Where the hell am I going to go?

You... How the hell should

I know where you go?

You go home.

I don't wanna go home.

I wanna stay.

Everything is so...

Every time I try to do something...

I mean, I don't even

give a damn anymore.

But I mean...

Someone like you.

Someone like me what?

Someone like you... I mean...

I can feel you.

What the f*** are

you talking about?

You know, like I know you.

You don't know Jack.

Please.

I don't know

if he's coming to take

the bag and kill me.

I don't know if he's coming

to take the bag and pay me.

I don't know if he's

coming by himself

or he's coming with a

whole f***ing army.

You gotta go.

It's impossible.

I made a deal.

RIVKA:
Well, I guess that's that.

Maybe we'll run into

each other someday.

Yeah, maybe.

Kitty Cat's gotta go her own way.

Cats are amazing animals though.

Survive all sorts of terrible sh*t,

they always land up on their feet.

Not always.

Good-bye.

(STARTING ENGINE)

Quickly.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Quick, quick, quick, quick,

quick, quick, quick.

Sh*t.

Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on, come on.

Come on.

Why are we hiding?

We're just gonna take

a minute to think.

How about that for an entrance?

Lucky there are

interconnecting rooms.

Put the pistol on the bed.

Make him comfortable.

Sit.

You too.

DRAGNA:
Tell me something, Jack,

I always thought that the number 13

had a one and then

a three right after it.

But, you know, it's been a

while since grade school,

so, you know,

I could have that wrong.

We have a problem, Jack?

No.

Because when I tell you

to wait in room 13

and I see you waiting in room 14,

it makes me ponder,

"Why would Jack go into room 14

"when I explicitly told him

to go into room 13?"

I mean that's exceedingly

specific, is it not?

I know you can count because you're

an eminently intelligent person,

so I know it can't be any

sort of cognitive issue.

So what is it?

I muse upon this and I start to think,

"Well, there must be a problem."

There's no problem.

I got the bag. I just want...

No, there is a problem, Jack.

Distrust is a disease

that kills a friendship.

When you sneak into room 14 after

I specifically told you room 13,

that's because you clearly

don't trust me, Jack.

That's a problem. When I see that you're

starting to lose your trust in me, Jack,

then I, reciprocally,

start to lose my trust in you.

I start to think,

"Maybe I can't trust this Jack."

JACK:
I don't mean

disrespect or anything,

but how am I supposed to trust you?

You send Bishop out after me.

He tries to kill me.

He ends up shooting me in the hand...

DRAGNA:
Well, frankly, I never

really cared much for Bishop.

What about those two

cartoon Feds next door?

With the silencers,

they were stalking deer?

Jack, come on.

If I wanted you dead,

we wouldn't even be talking

right now. You know that.

But I have to admit, you're

a one-man demolition crew.

I've owned this motel, the Sheriff

and everything within

miles for years.

It's been the favorite place

for drop offs, you name it.

But I am impressed.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't

mean they're not after you.

You certainly raised the bar.

I hear I even lost

my Russian dwarf.

He was Serbian-Roma.

Did you ever get a

chance to take a look

at that Hermann Hesse novel I

recommended, Magister Ludi?

I just want my money,

get out of here.

Can I give you a little

bit of advice, Jack?

Yeah.

If you took one-tenth of the

time you spend on killing people

and devoted it to reading

a book now and then,

I really think you would derive

great benefit. Don't you?

I just want my goddamn money.

That's it.

Jack,

you're not gonna introduce

me to your friend here?

She's not a part of this.

Oh, yes, she is a part of it.

You have a whore sitting here

in the middle of our business,

you made her a part of it, Jack.

You know what

"Magister Ludi"means, Jack?

Master of the game.

Master of the game!

Would it surprise you

if you found out

that this hot Tic Tac

here worked for me?

Possible, right?

I mean, come on, dude.

You check into a motel in

the middle of nowhere,

and you just happen to meet this

six-foot, weapons-proficient stripper

with aspirations to teach

second-grade in Kansas.

What are the odds on that?

I mean, I guess it could happen.

I met my wife at a f***ing Staples.

JACK:
Listen to me.

What's really happened here, huh?

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