The Ballad of Jack and Rose Page #2

give or take, at one time.

Engineers, farmers, carpenters,

a couple of scientists...

We were trying to...

Well, it wasn't what you see in the movies.

We weren't painting ourselves

orange and shaking tambourines

and whatever else

they got up to then.

We were trying to...

rebuild society on a small scale.

We were trying to figure out a way people

could live without destroying the planet,

with virtually no waste

or private property and...

I'll take that.

It was an experiment.

It looks like it didn't go too well.

- No, we learnt some stuff.

- Watch it.

- This is it.

- Oh, Jack...

Just put all your stuff down there for now.

Bring the rest in later on.

Where do you really live?

In my aunt's basement.

How long are you

going to stay here?

Not very long, personally,

but I have a feeling that my mother will

be embedded here for quite some time.

You get a lot of postcards.

My mother used to send them.

- Uh-huh.

- She left when I was five.

She might be coming back.

- Oh, dear.

- Rose?

Would you like to help me set the table? I'm

just going to make some cheese sandwiches.

- No, no... - Oh, that's cooked

food for the chickens

and that's raw food for the compost and

the big one... metal and plastic, paper.

- You'll get the hang of it.

- Yeah. OK.

Any questions about

the house, ask Rose.

One of you can sleep in

here for the time being,

and the other one's on the couch until

we get one of the outbuildings fixed up.

- That's fine.

- Is that all right with you?

- Mm-hm.

- It's so quiet in here.

It's like the inside of a can.

Hey, where's the TV?

No TV.

Are you working at

the moment, Rodney?

I've been studying to be

a women's hairdresser.

What brought you to that?

Erm...

I always wanted to be a barber,

but men don't get enough

pleasure out of their hair.

Did you do er...?

Kathleen.

- Yeah. Her hair?

- No, I didn't do Kathy's hair.

My mother likes to think of

herself as being 16 years old.

- Oh, Rodney!

- I'm sure if I cut her hair off,

she would have a

breakdown of some kind.

How do you make your money?

I inherited the family business

when my father died, so I sold it.

- Oh. So you're loaded? - I don't think

you need to worry about that.

- Mom said you were an engineer.

- That's what I studied.

- Er... alternative energy.

- You got your degree in England?

Scotland, but I've been

an American since 1972.

Naturalised citizen,

God help me.

Why did you do it, then?

Because I fell in love with this country,

or... what I thought it was going to become.

You've got one more year

of school left, is that right?

- Yeah, I guess so. - I was expelled

in the last year of high school.

Why?

For defecating in the thirteenth

hole of the school golf course.

- Your school had a golf course?

- He's doing real well in school.

- Is that for me?

- Yeah, sweetie. It's a cheese sandwich.

I haven't seen one

like that since 1953.

- I'll be right back.

- OK.

Sorry.

Rose...

Don't make me bloody

well chase after you!

They're not guests.

They're moving in!

They're guests, until we see.

Just see how it works out.

- They brought everything!

- Everything?

They brought their lamps!

I've got to admit,

those lamps were shocking.

Look, it's just an

experiment, Rosie.

Let's just try it for a while

to see how it works out.

God forbid, you might even

end up wanting them to stay!

- You tricked me!

- It was a spur-of-the-moment decision.

She's so regular.

Kathleen, her name is,

by the way.

That's the whole point.

She'll take care of things.

- I took care of things!

- We took care of things. Now I'm sick.

How long have you

been lying to me?

How could you

not have told me?

I didn't think you'd understand.

I don't.

Hey, little freak.

Ever eaten a snake before?

No.

I know these kind of woods.

You got copperheads in there,

don't you?

There's a few that live under

a dead tree in the woods.

Show me where the tree is.

I used to trap snakes for this evangelist.

- What did he do with them?

- Put on a show.

Said he had the power of God

cos he didn't get bitten.

Did he have the power of God?

He died of a snakebite.

There.

So does your dad know

about this place?

Maybe.

Does he know

everything about you?

Wild thing.

I'll give you a bedtime story

you won't forget.

- What are you doing?

- I want you to do it to me.

- Huh! Oh, my God.

- I never did it before.

Not even partly.

And erm... what made you select

tonight for your initiation?

Cos I have to do it right away.

Er, my brother is out

at the moment...

probably doing something

along these lines,

so if you want to take a seat in his

room I'm sure he'll be happy to oblige.

I don't like him.

That's funny.

I don't like him, either.

Look, it's not funny.

OK?

This is tragic.

It's...

It's not exactly tragic.

It's er... it's ridiculous.

OK?

No.

OK, no, look.

Look, wait.

I wasn't aware that,

on top of being trapped in retro world

due to my mother's saviour complex,

I myself was to become

a sort of sex toy...

...for my angelic,

possibly disturbed,

certainly odd new sister.

OK?

Let's...

Let's not forget that part.

Huh!

Who are you people?

- But I like you.

- Christ...

Just...

Just...

I'm just er...

I'm not ready to unpeel my nylon

at this particular point in time.

Not for anybody.

It's nothing personal.

Hey...

I got an idea.

It's...

It's kind of a compromise.

Do you mind if it's radical?

I put a spell on you

Cos you're mine

You'd better stop

the things you do

I ain't lyin.

No I ain't lyin.

You know I can't stand it

Your running around

You know better, Daddy

I can't stand it cos

you put me down

Yeah, yeah

I put a spell on you

Because you're mine

You're mine

Oh, yeah

I love you, I love you

I love you

I love you anyhow

And I don't care if

you don't want me

I'm yours right now

Jesus Christ!

Come on.

Oh, God...

Are you out of your

f***ing mind?

Rodney did it for me.

I was referring to

the loaded gun.

You're a bloody little hooligan.

What are you doing?

Look what he did to you.

Do you love me?

Is she all right?

Good night, my little dove.

What was Rose's mother like?

What was your wife like?

Just about the opposite of you.

- What does that mean?

- Well, you know. You.

Imagine the opposite of you.

Thin hair, dark eyes, big tits?

- Go a little deeper.

- Rich?

She was inscrutable,

dreamy, capricious,

deceitful and totally selfish.

Oh.

So it was a compliment.

Everything from me to you is a compliment,

no matter what it sounds like.

- That's a mean game.

- Come here and I'll show you a mean game.

- Has Rose ever talked to a psychologist?

- Like your son, maybe?

The psychology of hair?

Jesus!

No, I'm just...

I'm wondering.

- Is she still in school?

- I took her out when she was 11.

How could you not

send her to school?

Don't believe in factory farming.

I teach her here.

Well, Rose is the

way you made her.

What are you getting at,

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