The Ballad of Jack and Rose Page #4

make themselves up as they go.

I made up my name

when I ran away.

- You did?

- Yeah, it just came to me. I was, like...

I was standing outside of my mom's

house and it was snowing

and I just saw this little bush

with these hard,

shiny red berries on it

just growing out of the snow,

you know?

Next time someone asked me what

my name was, I just sort of said

- "Red Berry" and it just kind of stuck.

- Why did you run away?

The important thing is,

you have to forgive everybody.

I forgave everybody after I left,

even my mom and my brother.

Oh, my goodness!

That's perfect.

We have a genuine and authentic, I'm sure,

wedding-and-engagement-ring set.

And I think you

shall have them.

Thank you.

Red Berry, you don't seem

the marrying type. Sorry.

What? I'm definitely

going to get married...

...to a big, fat man

with a tiny wiener

I can barely find.

- Not you, Rodney.

- Oh, thank God.

He has to be really old,

though, you know?

So do you think that Kathleen

is going to marry your dad?

- She wants to.

- Yeah.

Yeah, Mom is a sucker

for a sick man.

My father was a diabetic.

What was Thaddius's father like?

He's er...

He was just an idiot.

I got a bee sting.

Hey, Rosie.

I didn't squash him.

I was just out by the compost.

Rodney,

come here for a second.

Let's have a look.

Hold still.

The only person you're

hurting is yourself.

I have a feeling I'll be living off

guilt-burgers for a couple of weeks.

- They're quite thinning. - All I want is

to help you get down to a normal size.

Ow! Sh*t!

Easy.

Bloody fuss.

Why am I always the monster? Huh?

Will you please tell me that?

- It's a question only you can answer.

- Oh, OK!

I give up.

Just eat, eat.

Be disgusting.

I'm signing off!

What was that?

Which God are you praying to?

- Where have you been?

- Up in the dome.

What were you hiding

in there for?

Nothing.

Are you OK?

I'm fine.

That was quite a fit

that Kathleen had today.

Sort of... surprising aspect

to her personality.

OK.

Are you sure you're all right?

You're acting a wee bit strangely.

Tired.

Who's the lucky guy?

Well, sleep well.

If there's something bothering you,

we can just, you know, talk about it.

OK.

I'll be back, OK?

Ow.

Go ahead.

- Ow...

- Shh!

Thanks.

I'm just hoping that's

your idea of a joke.

New chapter.

What's that?

You've been ruined by

that f***ing scumbag!

- Jack! Jack!

- What?

Oh, my God!

I'll deal with this later on.

Oh, God!

Jack!

- What?

- Oh, my God!

I just saw a copperhead.

It went behind that

dresser and disappeared.

Probably wasn't a copperhead.

Don't get hysterical.

I know a f***ing copperhead

when I see one!

- Oh, sh*t. Oh, God!

- Right, everybody out of the room.

Did I invite you to stay?

Oh, God...

Who were you planning on killing?

I just wanted to scare her.

F***...

What are you hanging around

the door for, f*ggot?

- Hi!

- Hi.

- I'm Marty Rance.

- Oh, hi. I'm Kathleen.

- I'm looking for Jack Slavin.

- Oh, he's in the house.

There's a snake in there.

Copperhead.

That's why I'm...

Er...

Well, thanks.

Hello.

I'm Marty Rance.

I'm developing that land over

on the other side of the field.

I'm just... making the rounds with

the neighbours, trying to get acquainted.

Looking for Jack Slavin.

- I'm Jack Slavin.

- Jack Slavin?

Marty Rance.

Great timing, Marty.

How's your day so far?

Oh, I'm just spending

the afternoon

kinda making the acquaintance,

you know, just saying hi.

- I know that. You just said that.

- So, I did.

How are thing going

down at the site?

You know how it is when you try

to build something. You get setbacks.

Trespassers, vandalism...

It's hard to keep things tidy.

I agree with you on that one.

Trespassing and vandalism,

- I can't abide by. Never could.

- It's nice to hear you say that.

The reason you can't build

on a wetland, see, Marty,

is that all that shite that goes

into your sewer system over there

will end up running into

the island's water supply.

The grounds too soft, quite apart

from the wildlife that you're poisoning.

That may not be a

wetland any more.

How did you work that out?

I'm making an appeal.

We have excellent sewers.

- I'm sure you do.

- Yeah. Er...

You're bribing someone on

the Corps of Engineers, is that it?

I know you've got the Housing Board

in your pocket already.

You know, I really came here

to try and make peace,

to forget about anything either one of

us might have done to upset the other,

but by the same token, one of my men

gave a pretty accurate description

of a person who shot up our

work site a little while ago.

- Yeah, that was me.

- Mm! Mm-hm.

If you don't tell on me, I don't

tell on you. Is that how it works?

Here's the thing. You're slinging

up houses on a wetland, right?

I just want you to...

take down one of them.

Pick a house.

I'll leave it up to you.

- Of course, that's out of the question.

- See you, Marty,

if you don't destroy

one of those houses,

I'm going to have to kill you.

I hope you're kidding,

for your sake.

You know, I tell you,

from top to toe,

I couldn't make any improvements.

You're perfect.

You too, my friend.

I stuffed down most of the holes

in the house, so we should be all right.

I'd prefer it if you didn't smoke

near the house, please.

- Since when? - Since I f***ing told you,

you little rodent.

- You're the boss.

- That's right. I am the boss,

and you're moving out.

I don't want you sleeping

in my house any more.

You've got one more night...

for your mother's sake.

If it weren't for her,

you'd be out on your arse tonight.

I got you back.

- Got me back for what?

- For Kathleen.

Now we're even.

That's insane.

You think I'm crazy too, now?

We're tripping!

- Who is?

- Thaddius and I. Isn't that perfect?

You all came.

I was hoping.

OK, let's learn a little

American history.

This is a genuine imitation acid

pad that was built in 1971.

- This is so cool!

- It was built as a meeting house.

Right.

Sorry.

See, there was an

idea that all this stuff,

all these images and sounds

you'll be hearing, with a little luck,

would break down the psyche

of the people that were tripping.

A person could smash past themselves and

become part of the other people in the room.

Am I getting this right, Jack?

I'm just here as an observer.

See, acid was just

a tiny part of it.

Jack wanted this commune

to be a pure place...

full of people who

re-invented themselves,

hardworking people who

weren't greedy or petty or selfish,

people who could actually share

property because they weren't

enslaved by the patterns they

inherited from their moms and dads.

It was going to

be total freedom.

Total freedom.

See, Jack forgot how to believe

in communal life a long time ago.

How the hell would you know

what I believed in, sweetheart?

But anyway,

seeing as we have guests,

I thought we'd have a little...

educational/nostalgic

experience.

Give up, boy!

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