The Barefoot Contessa Page #6

knows more about public

relations than you do

Maybe the public heart is

something you can't put on a chart

or penetrate with just money

You begin to think

that maybe, after all

Kirk Edwards couldn't really

walk across the English Channel

any time he wanted to

In many ways, Maria affected

Oscar more than any of us

Her father's trial

the fact that being honest

about something unpleasant

could make her more popular

than ever, it shook Oscar

His gods began to crumble

He became aware even of some clay

around the feet of Kirk Edwards

But two years went by

before the great god

Edwards toppled over

Two good and happy years,

for me at any rate

The night he fell to earth

(I suppose it was the most

losing night of Kirk's life)

was just about a year ago,

in Beverly Hills, California

It was quite a night. Turned

out to be quite a party

Kirk Edwards was the host

and over my objections,

Maria let him use her house

He'd asked personally

and Maria said yes

Kirk didn't give many

parties, but when he did

they were always for men

like Seor Alberto Bravano

Bravano did no less for Kirk

when Kirk visited South America

Noblesse oblige, sort of

But it soon became obvious

that the seor was only mildly

interested in the available talent

He'd found what he wanted: Maria

Jerry and I were playing backgammon

That dated us, all right,

but it gave us something to do

We weren't paying much

attention to the game

We were worried about Maria

She seemed too restless,

too tense, too withdrawn

And Kirk, when he

wasn't looking at Maria

he was watching

Bravano look at Maria

He didn't like it

Alberto Bravano was, and is

one of the three richest

men in South America

which makes him one of

the richest in the world

But unlike Kirk his

only interest in money

lay in spending it for

his own gratification

To Oscar, Alberto

Bravano was heaven-sent

A man with more

money than Kirk, even

and even more in need of a

counsel for public relations

It's a form of

insurance, you might say

Only, instead of your life

it protects your good

name and your reputation

Too late. My name and reputation

already are hopelessly bad

Mr Muldoon, in my whole life

I have made one major decision

When I was 15 years

old, I had two choices

Everybody wanted me

to be a good little boy

and do good for others

I chose to be a bad little

boy and do good for myself

So far, so good, seor. But the

world is getting smaller all the time

And if somebody drops a lot of money

in a gambling casino

in Deauville, France

the noise can be heard quite a way.

Interesting. And how

far, would you say

can this falling money be heard?

With nobody around to quiet it down

the sound could travel all

the way to certain mining camps

deep in the jungles

of South America

Camps where the men

aren't paid enough

or protected against disease enough

Interesting

And how would such fantastic lies

come to the ears of a man

such as you, Mr Muldoon?

Well, like I say, it's a tiny world

If, for instance, somebody rents a

whole hotel at Cap d'Antibes, France

for the entire season,

just to make sure

he can have it the

last two weeks in August

and if somebody else

doesn't keep it quiet

people might read about it in cafs

in certain South American cities

Is it not fortunate, for instance

that I own the

newspapers in my country?

Anyone with a printing

press in the cellar

and something to

say owns a newspaper

There are laws against propaganda

that certain governments

enforce very rigidly

Is any man rich enough

to own a government?

I will not answer vaguely,

Mr Muldoon. Yes

It's a funny thing about

the governments one owns

If the owner isn't around

but is cruising around the

Mediterranean on a yacht

that costs more to keep up than the

combined salaries of his government

and nobody is around to

protect his interests...

What do you think? Will Maria

d'Amata come with me to the Riviera?

She ought to jump at the chance,

but she's a strange girl

To have Maria D'Amata

as my personal guest

would be the best of possible

public relations for me, Mr Muldoon

Besides, is not Maria D'Amata

the chief asset of Kirk Edwards?

In what way do you mean?

One considers her

his prize possession

Only if one does not

know what the score is

You throw double sixes again and

I'll have you burned for a witch

Sore loser. He owes me

$187,000 and he won't pay up

- You won't take my cheque

- I'll say

- Double six

- Ouch

The last time this

witch went to a party

she made the princess prick her

finger and fall asleep for 100 years

Is that some kind

of Chinese chequers?

- Huh?

- Chinese chequers?

No, this is... pinochle

- I'm drunk

- It's just stuffy in here, that's all

Oh, no, I'm drunk

- Can I ask you something?

- Of course

- Nice house you got

- Thank you

- Nice party.

- And nice questions you ask

Yeah

What is with you?

What goes with you?

I don't understand those questions

Maria D'Amata. Great big

star. Great big sex number

Who is it? If it's not

Kirk, who is it? Harry?

- Shut up

- Is it gonna be Bravano or who?

On the screen, you get 'em all.

What about off?

What about in a room?

This room. Name a man

Or maybe you're afraid of men

All right, blow. And

don't forget to call a cab

Who's she kiddin'? She hasn't

even got what "I've" got

What she's got you couldn't spell

And what you've got,

you used to have

Now beat it

I don't even believe

you're playing pinochle

Come on, Maria, let's us

go sit upstairs for a while

I'd like to talk to Harry

for a moment. Would you mind?

Of course I wouldn't

Where will you be?

Right here, practising double sixes

Remember all the money I owe you

No sweet talk with these juveniles

or you won't collect a nickel

You know just the right

thing to say to a girl

at the right time, don't you?

I keep forgetting you don't smoke

A glamour girl, who

does not even smoke

I should really be in the

circus with the strange people

- Freaks

- Freaks

Harry, I think that I should go home

This "is" your home

This is an ugly house in

bad taste, which I rent

Containing a bed to

sleep on, which I rent

Chairs to sit on and a stove

to keep me warm, which I rent

Then buy a place of

your own, or build one

I cannot buy, and working

men cannot build a home

You've worked hard. Three

pictures, one right after another

Maybe a rest and a change

of scene will do you good

Finding me, bringing me here

our three films together, has

it been good for you, Harry?

I've never had it so good

Because I think I should go

back to Madrid, and stay there

I should stay where I belong

- Where is that?

- In the dirt of the streets

- Do you think you could stay there?

- Probably not

Probably now I would not belong

there any more than where I am

Where are you, Maria?

Half in the dirt and half out

Ah. Then it hasn't been good for you

Oh, in many ways it's

been beyond my dreams

Like a fairy tale of this century

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