The Batman vs. Dracula

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B-7

G-46

Before the cops nabbed me, I stashed cash.

Millions.

Hey! Sit down!

Did you hear me? Millions!

Can't you see I'm on a roll here?

Come on, Penguin. Hear me out!

Ahem!

Bingo! Hur..

N-17

It was thirty years in the slammer and

ten here in Arkham.

(Bingo!)

But the fact is,

I cannot take one more day in the cuckoo's nest.

I am willing to split the take 50-50,

if, you can get us out of here.

And where might we retrieve our little nest egg?

Gotham Cemetary, north end.

The crypt behind the tombstone with the cross.

But I think I'll keep more specific directions

to myself until we get there.

Together.

You don't have to worry about trusting me, old pal.

I'm as dependable as the dodo.

I knew you were rock solid, Penguin.

Not like that other guy.

You told someone else?

Well, first I went to the only one who's escaped

from here more times than you.

Who?

Take it easy!

I don't think he got what I was telling him.

Who, who, who??

I mean, talk about having a real screw loose, right?

You told him?

Joker! He's escaped!

Goodbye Arkham,

hello, Gotham!

That crook loop's got the step on me!

Come on, come on!

That means you!

Ooh, it's Joker!

Where?

Bingo.

Tweet, tweet.

Penguin, you old featherbrain.

What brings you out of Arkham?

Same as you, clowny.

But I think we can save each other a whole lot of

trouble if we agree to split the take.

See your point.

Partners?

My, Pengy. You really know how to shake!

Instant karma, Joker.

Don't get caught in the rain without your straitjacket.

Batsy, you're such a card.

Gotham Cemetary.

A casket, a casket

which crypt's got the money casket?

No sign.

Tombstone with a cross,

tombstone with a...

Catch!

Give it up.

This time I'm out for bloody, Batsy.

It's behind the cross.

This must be the place.

I'll take what's behind door number 1.

Whoa.

Like that will stop me.

Show me the money.

I'm bleeding!

This isn't paydirt, it's just dirt!

Where is that loot?!

What's that?

Show's over.

The show must go on.

You wouldn't leave your pal hanging,

now would you?

Almost had you!

Bye bye, Batsy!

Hey! Cemetary's closed!

That will do.

Looks like I'm the main course.

Dead guys don't do that!

Not dead. Undead.

I think I need to unwet my pants.

I will require a human servant.

A sentinel to guard my coffin while I sleep.

You.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.

I'll have you know, Sir,

I am a Cobblepot.

And Cobblepots do not serve.

I'm Penguin, I'll be your server.

I shall darn that straight away, Sir.

Sir? You are brooding.

More so than usual.

Alfred.

Tonight, Joker met his demise.

And our old friend, Cobblepot?

Penguin's trail went completely cold.

I have been at rest for quite some time.

Transylvania has changed.

Oh, O Dark One,

you're not in Transylvania anymore.

This is Gotham City.

Then if I am no longer in Transylvania,

near my castle,

it must be due to forces outside my control.

Events which occurred, following my death.

It seems, after I was vanquished,

my remains were relocated, far from Transylvania.

Very well.

Now take me on a tour of this Gotham,

native guide.

The night is young, and still I thirst.

Wayne Industries feels an obligation

to remain committed to socially responsible programs.

A prime example would be

our work in the field of alternative energy sources.

Amazing.

Well, I like to think we're just doing our part.

I mean, you've been here nearly 40 minutes

and haven't bolted for the door.

My work sometimes calls me away.

Well Bruce,

I'm sure you can imagine

how four false starts at an interview

might make a reporter feel rejected.

Now I have a question for you, Vicki.

Shoot.

Where's your camera man?

I, uh, gave him the day off.

Figured that way,

Gotham TV News might have a better shot

at getting to know the real Bruce Wayne.

Gotham TV News, or

Vicki Vale?

Well, I'm not the one who

picked a restaurant with such a beautiful view.

I'm sorry, Vicki.

Would you believe,

I have to wrap this up.

That was professional, Vale.

No it's, it's not that.

I still have a ton of things

to prepare for the energy expo

at the mansion tomorrow night.

Why don't you come?

But my story airs tomorrow morning.

I meant as my date.

The tally of missing persons

has spiked dramatically in Gotham this past week.

With the Gotham PD no closer

to uncovering who or what

might be behind the mysterious

disappearances of these "Lost Ones",

a cloud of fear hangs over our city.

Gotham PD aren't the only ones who're baffled.

Might the missing Penguin be behind this?

No ransom demands, not his style.

And speaking of news,

how was your dinner with the lovely Vicki Vale?

Short, but sweet.

I invited her to the expo tomorrow night. And,

to dinner here, Saturday.

To think I was beginning to fear

you prefered the company of archvillains.

On that note,

let's see if tonight turns up

Penguin or any of these Lost Ones.

I lost Joker,

I'm not going to lose anyone else on my watch.

My purse!

A rent-a-cop?

Whoa!

Oh thank goodness.

Guess I'm not needed.

Did you find my bag?

A man who dresses like a bat.

Oh phsaw.

The Batman may look the look,

but he has none of your mojo.

I am nonetheless intrigued.

My legacy has been quite influencial.

Vampires, Master Bruce?

Are you certain

you're not suffering from sleep deprivation?

I don't want to believe it either, Alfred.

But I know what I saw.

Fangs.

Poppycock.

Easily purchased at any halloween superstore.

It wasn't just the teeth.

The way they moved, their eyes.

They weren't human.

Yes. Well, might I remind you

before one urban legend

becomes too obsessed with another,

you are hosting the Wayne Industries

energy expo here, tonight.

With the ravishing Vicki Vale on your arm.

Time for my master to rise and shine.

Wakey-wake, it's nighty-night!

You have places to be, people to bite.

Those bloodshakes really work wonders

for your complexion.

Rise, my children of the night.

We shall take Gotham, human by human.

Until our blood flows through its canals,

transfiguring it into the city of the undead.

As you execute my dark purpose,

I shall stake my claim among Gotham's elite.

Well if you're looking to be numero uno

of the rich and famous,

there's one bird you'll have to knock off its perch.

You there,

more napkins at the buffet.

You, attend to the spill in the study.

And you, Stipes,

I realise this assignment may not be

as big a priority to you as catching your next wave,

but would you mind tucking in your shirt?

Dude, come on, chill.

Caviar chills.

Alfred Pennyworth, serving captain,

does nothing of the sort.

Truly magnificent.

Oh, my necklace?

It's a family heirloom.

And you are?

Alucard. Doctor Alucard.

Bruce Wayne.

I don't believe we've met.

I am new to Gotham,

a recent transport from Eastern Europe.

Really? What line of work are you in?

Cultural anthropology.

I am here to study your city's Batman.

Our city's?

You mean to tell me Budapest has a Dark Knight too?

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