The Belle of New York Page #5

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Sugar and spice

To all convention

I call out, "Gangway"

I confess that I wanna care less

Than Eva Tanguay

Gladly I'd chance the

Stares of a few

If I could dance the

Bunny hug too

Suppose a stranger

Should arrange a tte--tte

While he becomes pleasant

Across a hot pheasant

I'll put the whole thing on ice

That's if I'm naughty

Mot really naughty

Just sort of naughty

But nice

Wanna be naughty

Maughty but nice

See if I'm made of

Sugar and spice

To all convention

I call out, "Gangway"

I confess that I wanna care less

Than Eva Tanguay

Gladly I'd chance the

Stares of a few

If I could dance the

Bunny hug too

Suppose a stranger

Should arrange a tte--tte

While he becomes pleasant

Across a hot pheasant

I'll put the whole thing on ice

That's if I'm naughty

Mot really naughty

Just sort of naughty

But nice

Oh, Elsie, you look lovely.

- Are you ready?

- Ready.

Baby doll

You beautiful baby doll

Can't you see it now?

I'm tahing you walhing

Holding your parasol

Oh, honey, there's no use talhing

You're a beautiful baby doll

Good evening, ladies.

- Look.

- What?

He's a waiter.

- He's working.

- Yeah.

- Do you think he's seen us yet?

- I don't know.

He's turning around.

Quick, look sophisticated.

He's turning around again.

He's looking this way.

He's seen us.

Oh, mercy.

Here he comes.

- Angela, Elsie.

- Well.

- Oh, it's you.

- This is terrible.

Well, what's the matter?

Isn't my halo on straight?

Two nice girls like you.

out in a caf unescorted.

Oh, don't worry.

You've got to leave.

Are we going to have to send

for another waiter?

You girls don't belong

in a place like this.

Thank goodness we didn't have trouble

with the waiters in those other places.

What other places?

Well, with all we've had to drink.

it's hard to remember.

What?

Let's order something

before it wears off.

Yes, just take our order, waiter.

- But what'll it be, Elsie?

- The same. Champagne.

- Champagne?

- Champagne.

- Angela.

- And hurry.

It's working. He's worried.

Well, he should be.

Give me a bottle of sparkling soda.

- Sparkling soda.

- Two champagne glasses.

Champagne glasses for soda?

- That's what I said.

- That's a new one.

Thank you.

Champagne.

I hate to see you do this.

Oh, we wanted two bottles.

We only serve one at a time.

Unless you were planning

to drink it out of the bottle.

- Don't be rude, waiter.

- Anything else?

No, that'll be all.

Elsie, I'm frightened.

Why?

- I like it.

- Me too.

But I don't feel anything.

- Neither do I.

- Maybe it hits you all at once.

- Well, I hope I'm sitting down when it does.

- If you're not, you will be.

And now, ladies and gents.

Webber's Casino presents...

...one of our own

famous singing waiters.

Waiter Number 7, Charlie Hill.

I wanna be a dancin' man

While I can

Gonna leave my footsteps

On the sands of time

If I never leave a dime

Never be a millionaire

I don't care

I'll be rich as old King Midas

Might have been

Least until the tide comes in

Let other men build mighty nations

And buildings to the sky

I'll leave a few creations

To show that I was dancing by

I wanna be

free as any bird can be

Yes sirree

Gonna leave my footsteps

On the sands of time

If I never leave a dime

A dancin' man

With footsteps on the sands

Of rhythm

And rhyme

A dancing man

With footsteps on the sands

Of rhythm

- Very good, waiter.

- Thank you.

- Here, would you deliver this note for me?

- Certainly, sir. To...?

That blond number right over there.

But, sir, a note from a stranger

might offend the young lady.

- With her type, there are no strangers.

- That's right.

Go on, hurry, hurry. Go on, go on.

- Oh, Charles, you were just wonderful.

- Marvelous.

- From an admirer.

- Oh, thank you.

Elsie, I think we'd better leave.

Why, this is one

of the most respectable saloo...

- Restaurants in New York.

- Good evening.

- Two, please.

- Sir.

See? There's Charlie.

It's a fight. Come on.

Call the cops.

Look out!

- Watch out!

- Charlie!

- What kind of place is this anyway?

- I didn't know that this sort of thing...

- Where is...? I didn't expect this to happen.

- A fine lawyer you are, I could sue you.

Oh, now, just listen.

I'm an innocent bystander.

- Angela.

- Get out of my way.

- Why, Angela?

- Mrs. Hill.

- What are you doing here?

- Well...

- Look at you. Absolutely disgusting.

- It didn't turn out like we thought.

- Have you been drinking?

- No, Aunt Letty, just soda water.

- Soda water?

- Soda water?

You know very well, Angela.

that I'm not going to serve you any...

- I wanna get out. Let go.

- Mrs. Phineas Hill.

You know, I thought my champagne

tasted flat. Come on.

- Angela.

- Let go of me. Don't touch me.

- For heaven's sake, don't make a scene.

- Scene? Who's making a scene?

- What about the scene you made?

- I was defending you.

- You have no right to defend me.

- I have too.

I love you and you love me.

- I do not.

- Hey, here's your bird.

I don't want it. Throw it away.

Gladly.

I don't wanna see it again.

I don't wanna see you again.

That can be arranged.

- I've never been treated so insufferably.

- You got what you deserved.

- Is that so?

- Yes.

I ordered champagne, I wanted champagne

and I expected to get champagne.

And what did you bring me? Soda water.

Angela, I was only...

- You were only a conceited, egotistical...

- Then why did you wanna marry me?

- Because you need me.

- Need you? Listen to who's talking.

I was modest enough

to think you were too good for me.

I even tried to make you hate me.

Well, you've done a very good job.

You don't know what a relief it is

to suddenly find that I despise you.

I've developed a delightful dislike

for you too.

- I also hate you.

- Ditto for me.

- Why, you...

- Look out!

Come down here.

Come down here this minute.

You can't do that.

Yes, they can. They're in love.

When you're out

With the belle of Mew Yorh

With the beautiful belle of Mew Yorh

Ev'ry person you meet

Lihe the cop on the beat

Leaves whatever he's doing

And crosses the street

And your heart bobs around like a cork

When you're out

With the belle of Mew Yorh

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