The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 2 Page #3

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You could be killed

by one of those things.

Oh, God.

How I wish I could

prevail upon you to stay.

Always leave them wanting more, Nimish.

Are we going to the Best

Exotic Marigold Hotel, madam?

There's another stop first,

if you don't mind.

Goodbye, Nimish.

- Your Highness.

- Welcome.

In this hand, I'm nothing but putty.

If you like it,

you should put a ring on it.

Would you mind waiting?

I don't quite know how long I'll be.

Your command is my wish.

He will wait.

Yes, but can you?

Tough.

Break out the champagne!

Let the klaxons sound!

For home are the happy hunters and fat

is the lamb that we have slaughtered!

Namaste, Anokhi.

- Namaste, madam.

- Namaste, Anokhi.

How was America?

It made death more tempting.

Not bad biscuits, though.

I can't call them cookies.

Oh, look.

These are for your mother, apke ma.

These are for your father, apke pita.

- Hello, beta.

- Mummyji.

Come here.

I was just checking in a guest.

You scare the guests.

I'll do it.

She must be the reason

why things are going so smoothly.

It takes teamwork to make

a dream work, Mummyji.

Cousin Sapna.

And little Ranjan.

Thank you.

And there's more.

And breakfast is served on the terrace

between 7:
00 and 10:00, Miss Beech.

With roll-call at 9:00 precisely.

Roll-call?

To ensure that if anyone

has left us in the night,

at least they will not lie undiscovered.

Although you, dear lady, are nearer

the menopause than the mortuary.

Do fill in, please.

Hello?

Yes?

Oh, good morning.

Good morning.

Is this the Marigold Hotel?

Do you have a reservation?

- No, it seems great to me.

- I meant...

No, I know what you meant.

And, no, I don't have a booking.

Then you should plan your life

a little better. The last room's just going.

With great pride and joy I offer you

room 6, the jewel in our crown.

Overlooking the restaurant.

I was hoping for

somewhere quite private.

Another new guest.

Like lemmings they come to the cliff edge

that is the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

I'm so sorry, we're full up.

- That's disappointing.

- Mmm.

Fail to prepare, sir... prepare to fail.

I'm sorry, buddy.

Come, Miss Beech, your palace awaits.

I saw you at the airport, didn't I?

The man with only one bag.

Guy. Guy Chambers.

Lavinia Beech.

The name again, please?

Guy Chambers.

Mr. Chambers. Forgive me for the cursory

nature of my greeting.

I am Sunil Indrajit Kapoor,

owner and proprietor

of this great and

sincerely profitable hotel.

I'm pleased to meet you...

Of course we have our most

luxurious room available.

- We do?

- One to which I will personally escort you.

Don't you want to see my passport?

I know who you are, Mr. Chambers.

I know who he is.

Take Miss Beech to room 19.

Room 19 is not finished yet.

What can carpeting achieve

that a good pair of slippers cannot?

I'd really rather the room that I...

Please, Miss Beech, say it walking...

I don't mind what room I have, really.

But I mind, good sir. I mind deeply.

Sonny. A word.

In one hot minute, my darling.

I'm just attending

to this most significant gentleman.

Now.

One moment.

What is your problem?

I have never seen such rudeness.

Bigger fish are frying, Sunaina.

Mr. Burley promised he would send

someone to evaluate the hotel.

You told me he'd send someone...

He said he'd send his guy.

His guy! You see?

He was sending me a message.

That's not much to go on.

Instinct, Sunaina.

Instinct is the nose of the mind.

And I have a large nose.

It goes well with my poppy-out ears.

Yeah, these aren't bad.

Not bad at all.

You're happy?

When have you seen me happy?

Good evening, Mrs. Donnelly.

Evening, Mrs. Greenslade.

We understand there

are grounds for optimism.

The boy did well.

And you? How did you find America?

I went with low expectations

and came back disappointed.

Given your age, I'm impressed

you came back at all.

You're still standing, I see.

The old knee's hanging in there.

When's your next check-up?

Last week. And yours?

Tomorrow. We'll see what's come loose.

Evening, all.

- Evening, Mrs. Hardcastle.

- Namaste.

Evening. Had a good day?

Wonderful. Spent every

second of it together.

Suffocating. Spent every

second of it together.

He even followed me to the lavatory.

Everyone, this is Lavinia Beech.

- Good evening.

- Hi.

You're a bit young, aren't you?

Well, I'm here for my mother.

Not that one needs an excuse

to escape the six weeks of warm rain

that constitute an English summer.

She's thinking of coming for a longer stay.

I'm the advance party.

You must be hungry.

Please, come, sit down.

Not there, my darling. That is

the special table, already reserved.

For who?

Lordy lord, have mercy on my ovaries.

Ladies and gentlemen,

ladies and gentlemen...

this is the great Guy Chambers.

As welcome as he is fragrant.

Hello.

Hello.

Good to meet you all.

Perhaps tomorrow you will allow me to

take you on a tour of

our magnificent Pink City.

But now I shall

bring you food guaranteed

to tickle even your

most talented taste buds.

Well, that was thorough.

Find any polyps up there?

He's the one.

What one?

Our evaluator.

Sent to decide if we are

to be franchise or footnote.

What's your evidence?

The nose knows, Mrs. Donnelly.

Oh, right. So that's bollocks, then.

I'm here writing a book,

as a matter of fact. A novel.

That's a coincidence

because I read novels.

Have you written others?

No. No, this is my first.

It's just been kind

of a dream until now.

Any other dreams I can help you with?

So, what's it about?

It's about getting older, really.

And all that entails.

A sense of emptiness, of loss.

A gradual narrowing of one's...

Yes, well, you've come

to the right place for that.

Yes, yes. Now listen.

It's covered in scorpions.

How many tuk-tuks are there

with bloody scorpions on them?

And the driver is completely lethal.

Of course I don't know his name

but he's got one eye.

- There you are.

- Oh, my God.

Now listen, you. I don't want

any more excuses. Just do it!

That was the club.

There's been a power cut...

and apparently some of the food

for the party tonight

is slightly on the turn.

I'm sure you'll sort it, darling.

There's a problem with the party?

No, no problem with

the party, my darling.

Carol. Carol, where are you going?

To the travel agency where I work.

Why don't I walk with you?

No need. See you later.

Mrs. Hardcastle. Is there

a problem with the party?

Better not be.

It's the club's biggest night

for years. Can't afford slip-ups.

There was a power cut.

Norman.

- Douglas.

- Hello.

You missed roll-call.

I thought we'd lost you.

I was here early. Cyril's helping me.

I need to get all this sorted

for the wedding. I've got this whole...

bike thing planned.

Turns out, it wasn't

a piston problem at all.

Something to do with

the carburetor. So...

You don't care, do you?

Only insomuch as it matters to you.

But still you came.

Listen. I'm going to Mumbai

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