The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 2 Page #5

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I'm going to be so late for this party.

Both suitors at the same party...

does give one rather a frisson.

Then why are you hiding?

It's been a while since I had

one suitor, let alone two.

Something of a dry spell.

Water doesn't flow till you turn

the tap on. Pick someone tonight.

Mrs. Donnelly. Forgive me for not

escorting you to the clinic, but...

our plans for expansion

have hit a roadblock.

What kind of roadblock?

Good evening, Mrs. Donnelly.

Oh, you look so beautiful.

Sonny, your mother needs to spend

some time with my parents.

For the guest of honor.

We are the guests of honor.

Congratulations.

This is just a wonderful night.

I was thinking of celebrating by asking

your mother for a dance.

- Whose mother?

- Your mother.

Really?

You're looking very

fine tonight, Norman.

I don't suppose you've seen

Carol anywhere, have you?

Here...

Thank you. I find it awfully hard not

to wipe my fingers on my trousers.

I've noticed.

Jean used to accuse me of doing it

deliberately to annoy her.

Whereas, the best way

was to stand in front of her

and fold up a road map the wrong way.

You're happy.

I've just got a text from

Laura. Well, five texts,

although I could

only read the first one.

I hate this machine.

Turns out she's coming here.

I thought she was going to Mumbai.

She's taking a diversion to see

her old man. In his natural habitat.

That's wonderful.

So the two of you

will finally get to meet.

And she can see for herself that

all the things I've told

her about you are true.

Oh.

Oh.

I hear you're going to dance tonight.

We met before. I'm Lavinia.

Lavinia. Absolutely.

You're probably thinking

I'm a little young

to be staying at the Marigold.

Either that or your plastic

surgeon's a genius.

I'm... quite interested

in your new place.

Come by again sometime.

Maybe I will. Or maybe I won't.

That means I will.

Mummyji. Guy Chambers has chosen you.

A great mystery for another time.

But the moment he beckons,

you must join him

on the dance floor to throw some shapes.

- I don't think so.

- Why not?

The man is so handsome he has me

urgently questioning my own sexuality.

What's left of our hopes

for the hotel are

in his hands. So, please,

take one for the team.

Are you pimping out your own mother?

No, no, not at all. No.

Although, yes.

Madge. I can't find Carol anywhere.

Norman, quick, kiss me.

What?

- You know you want to.

- I don't want to.

Well, I wouldn't mind but...

I'm sorry, Norman. I can't do this.

I'm in love with someone else.

Fair enough.

I'm breaking your heart. I'm sorry.

I'll get over it.

Forgive me.

Now, have either of you seen Carol?

I honestly thought it might help.

I thought if I could

see them at the same time,

I'd know which one I preferred...

which port in the storm I'd choose.

But it didn't work out that way.

Some you win, my lady,

and some you learn.

And I don't know why, but I rather

snubbed his kind invitation...

to go with him to Mumbai.

Where, as it turns out,

I'm going anyway.

So we'd actually be there together.

I don't know

if I'm excited or terrified.

Sometimes it seems to me

that the difference between...

what we want and what we fear...

is the width of an eyelash.

I'm sorry, were you talking to me?

Oh, the hearing's gone then, obviously.

Yeah, along with your backbone.

I don't know why I tell you anything.

Because I'm older and wiser.

19 days older.

That's the entire lifespan of a wasp.

Go on, talk to him.

Look, we don't have to dance.

We could just talk.

Well, we start by you telling me

what your name is.

It's Mrs. Kapoor.

That's all I get?

Mmm-hmm. That's all you get.

Huh. Alright, um...

Okay, I'm 64. I am single...

and my wife left me a couple

of years ago. I don't know why.

Uh, I'm generally kinder

to people than to animals.

Not that I'm mean to animals, I'm not.

I like animals. Especially dogs.

What do you want from me?

I don't know, just a little

back and forth. A little...

I went, now you go.

What do you really want?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I prefer cats.

I figured.

Have dinner with me.

Whenever you want.

We can go tomorrow night.

Night after that. That's...

Or I could book a table right here,

if you want?

What makes you think I'll say yes?

I'm hoping you already did.

Just not out loud.

Ladies and gentlemen,

distinguished guests...

the moment you've all been waiting for.

Please welcome to the dance floor,

Jay and Kush...

She is totally frosting him.

The evening's a disaster.

This is our night, Sonny.

Ours.

Nobody... nobody panic.

Are you okay?

It's just a little outage.

Soon have it sorted.

You better pray

I don't find you in the dark.

- I don't believe this.

- Norman?!

Carol, darling, where are you?

Neither do I. It's outrageous.

Don't pretend you're not relieved.

You think I'd organize a power cut?

The only thing you did organize.

I had more important things to see to.

What is more important

than your engagement?

If I could see where

your leg is, I'd kick it.

Then I wouldn't have to dance and you

could stay on the floor with your Kushti.

Who dances like he does everything...

better than me.

Really?

Really.

Sunaina, wait.

You're screwing up, Sonny boy.

I went to one once where the best man

and the groom were found

in bed together.

Which still went

slightly better than tonight.

I'm sure I paid that bill.

It was a power cut, it happens.

Just, please, no-one tell Madge.

No-one tell Madge what?

Oh, God.

Douglas?

Yes?

Um, Laura's coming tomorrow,

that's wonderful. I can't wait to meet her.

But, absurdly, um, as it happens,

I now have to go to Mumbai.

Oh.

But I was wondering...

I mean I was thinking that

when you come for the conference...

we could...

I don't know how long

I'm going to be there

but the time that I am

perhaps we could...

Hello, Dad.

Darling!

Hello, Douglas.

Darling?!

Hello, Evelyn.

It was all so delightfully last minute.

Yes, a bit of warning

would have been nice.

You didn't get my texts?

I hate that machine.

Laura's giving a speech at an international

conference. Aren't you, darling?

About the exponential growth

of internet start-ups...

and the consequent effect on...

I'll shut up now.

And when she mentioned

she'd been offered

two return flights,

first class, of course...

I couldn't resist the chance to come out

and visit the old crumbling ruins.

And see how the hotel was doing as well.

Daniel has been saying I was looking

tired and could do with a holiday.

It's typically him to be

so considerate and caring.

Daniel?

Daniel Green. He's a country solicitor.

And my boyfriend.

It was actually his idea that I come

and speak about this in person.

Apparently, we have three options:

desertion, unreasonable behavior...

or adultery. A rather unholy trinity.

You can take your pick.

I don't understand.

Daniel's proposed to me, Douglas.

He's asked me to marry him.

I'm here to get a divorce.

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