The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Page #2

It tells you- I know what it is, Ma.

What are you

showing me anyway?

Come and spend

your autumn years in an Indian palace...

with the sophistication

of an EngliSh country manor:

Tucked away on the outskirts of Juipur, and

graced wiih breathtaking surroundings-

" Lofty terraces,

open courtyards,

domes, arches...

and canopied balconies

abound with opulent comfort.

Indeed, the entire buildihg

exudes historical ambience...

and transports one back in time to

the proud tradition of the Rej.

Is that good?

It is. It is.

Very good.

Thirty-six years, four months since

the day we were called to the bar,

and you've never once

talked about India.

Do you want

any of these books?

You might be needing them again.

Mrs. Megson. Sir?

I want you to have this.

Are you sure?

Oh, absolutely.

Th-There's a little crack there

just on the bottom,

but I think you know something

about that already.

I used to live there...

a long time ago.

There won't be

any golf courses.

Well, that's just as well.

I can't afford the green fees.

But a retirement home?

It's a luxury development...

where all the residents

are in their golden years.

Like the Costa Brava?

Yeah, but with more elephants.

You know

who'll be there- Indians.

Loads of them.

Brown faces and black hearts.

Reeking of curry.

And you never see one

on their own, do you?

I mean, they always-

they move in packs.

Makes it easier to rob you

blind, cut your throat.

You know what?

You can wheel yourself from here.

You're supposed to

take me to my flat.

My wife's from Mumbai.

Well, don't blame me, mate.

You married her.

My wife's from Mumbai.

Has anyone thought about what happens

when you get to the other end?

They said somebody's

going to meet us in Jaipur.

How are we going to know

you're all right?

Well, I'll call.

They do have phones there, you know.

Or you can read my blog.

Your what?

On the lnterweb.

Just log in whenever you

like and read my news.

Well, I hope the first item

will be announcing your return.

I don't suppose they'll be

paying for the journey back.

Look, before I go, I wonder, could

you say one thing that's supportive?

I've never done anything like

this in the whole of my life.

You've never done

anything at all without Dad.

I don't think you'll

be able to cope. Well,

let's just find out,

shall we?

And the connecting flight to

Jaipur is first class too?

That's right.

I tell you. it's tough

to get upgraded nowadays.

I had to flirt so hard

with the travel agent,

it was practically

phone sex.

Oh.

Well, this is my lucky day.

Sir.

We'd like to take a look in

this bag, madam, if you don't mind.

What have you

got in here anyway?

It's just PG Tips.

And some brown sauce.

Thirty-one packets

of chocolate Hobnobs.

That's pickled onions

and, yeah, pickled eggs.

And that's just pickles.

Pickles.

- No liquids on the plane.

- What's that mean?

It means you can't take

the pickled onions...

or the pickled eggs.

The pickles fine.

Oh!

Obviously, one

has read one's Kipling,

but we view this as an opportunity

to explore another culture,

as well as making

new friends.

And a High Court judge is just the

class of guest one was hoping for.

isn't it, Douglas?

Sorry?

And, um, is this your

first time in India? Yes.

You don't look like

an experienced traveler.

Oh, I'm not.

But one has read one's guidebooks.

It should be there.

No.

Oh.

Oh. Hi.

Hello. We haven't met.

Norman Cousins.

Madge Hardcastle.

A pleasure.

Play your cards right,

and it could be.

Look. My chair. What?

Oh, yes, yes. Hang on.

May I have your attention, please?

We regret to announce cancellation

of Flight 105 to Jaipur,

owing to bad weather

at the destination..

We apologize

for any inconvenience caused

Right.

Of course it's a good idea.

Who can one trust

if not a High Court judge?

I suppose this way

we see more of the country.

If anyone asks,

say you're my mother.

I don't want people

to think we're together.

In your dreams.

Douglas, these are not words

that often pass my lips,

but you may actually

be right.

This country seems rather more

civilized than one originally thought.

Okay. Thank you.

The bus- The bus will take us

to the center of the town,

and then we can get tuk-tuks

the rest of the way.

What did he say? So it's down there.

Yeah, it's down there.

Down here. The yellow one.

That one.

But look at the bus!

There's not enough room!

First rule of India-

There's always room."

There we are.

Ah.

Sorry.

In you go. What larks, Pip!

Well, let's hope so.

Oh!

Oh!

I'm really

loving this.

Oh. Thank you.

Are you insane?

Avoid all food

not from a reputable vendor.

It'll be washed

in impure water.

It's just a sandwich.

Oh, marvelous. Then I'll have

ham, cheese and streptococcus.

Or perhaps bacteria,

lettuce and tomato.

Huh.

Would you like some of this?

I believe it's called

aloo ka paratha.

No, if I can't pronounce it,

I don't want to eat it.

JJ:

JJ:

JJ:

How long

since you've been here?

Forty years.

Oh.

That's as long

as I was married.

My husband died recently.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Do you think

we'll be all right?

God, don't ask me.

I'm more scared than you are.

Oh.

JJ:

No.

It's going to be

extraordinary.

What exactly is a tuk-tuk?

Oh, look! What's that? Look!

Oh!

Ah!

Is this it?

Well-

Here! Watch it!

Sorry.

Welcome to The Best

Exotic Marigold Hotel!

Oh!

There's an Indian in there.

Ah.

This will do.

Bird in room.

This is a building

of the utmost character,

which means that perhaps not everything

will function in the way you expect it to.

But, as the manager...

and chief executive supervising

officer of this Marigold Hotel,

I can tell you with great pride that the

building has stood for centuries...

and will continue to stand for many

more in 100% shipshape condition.

Please follow me, carefully

avoiding that naughty stone there.

Around this corner,

leading us most successfully

all the way to-

your bedroom.

Where?

Here. In here.

My dear man,

rooms have doors.

What you're showing me here

is an alcove.

A door is coming soon,

most definitely.

How soon?

Let us not concern ourselves

with details, Mrs. Hardcastle.

Rather than speaking

of doors,

we should instead take pleasure

in the freedom to roam.

Does your room have a door?

A most effective one.

Good. Then that's

where I'll be staying.

You will be coming

to the hospital...

once you he satisfactorily

recovered from your journey.

The operation requires a stay of five days,

and it is done under general anesthesia.

A hip replacement usually

takes only two hours.

Your surgeon will remove

the top end of the thighbone...

and insert

an artificial bone instead.

A most routine procedure.

Have you got

a marker pen on you?

Why?

I want to mark it.

I don't want you

to do the wrong hip.

I want to stay at the other hotel,

the one that's in the brochure.

Mrs. Ainslie,

prepare to be amazed.

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