The Best of Times Page #2

and still maintain one's pride...

There's only one way.

Crawl, with dignity, of course,

and women will forgive anything.

- Shut up, Jack.

- You got it.

Gigi got as far as county line

before she always comes back.

She can't get L.A. Out of her head.

First time she's ever said divorce.

What?

Yeah.

That's a terrible word, Reno,

"Divorce", terrible.

She'll leave me

as soon as I fix her car.

- You gonna fix it?

- Hell, no! I love her!

I don't know what to say.

Neither do I.

You got a burned out

intake valve on number five.

It's going to cost you 400 bucks.

$400?!

How the hell can I argue with you

when your wife just left you.

My great sorrow

at your domestic problems

prevents me from

calling you a crook.

Get out of here.

What about my car?

God damnit!

You've got a choice.

For $400, I'll fix it right,

or for $1.50,

I'll throw in some STP, again.

It'll still run shitty,

but for a week sound great.

- So, what do you want?

- Here's $1.50.

In a week,

I might be dead.

Can I at least have a loaner

so I can get back to the bank?

It'll take 15 minutes.

I've got a board meeting.

That's all I got.

Perfect.

Hey, Jack...

Some of us think you

take a loaner every week

because you're going

to the massage parlor

and need a car you won't

be recognized in.

I won't even dignify that

with a reply.

I've never paid for it

in my life.

Adios, muchacho.

- Visa or Mastercard?

- Visa.

Thanks.

0kay, you can start.

Meter's running.

There are times when a man must look

deep into the bowels of his soul,

into the darkest

chambers where demons lurk.

What's wrong?

- My wife's unhappy.

- How do you know?

Men know.

- Am I a good lover, Darla?

- The best.

Thank you. How do you know?

We never do it.

Women know. Is that what

we're going to talk about?

No. I'm going into

the bowels of hell.

Which bowels of hell?

Taft versus Bakersfield, 1972.

Football.

That's a bowel of hell, all right.

If I'd caught that ball,

my whole life would be different.

This is Ace Jointers and Extruders.

Number 441-06-9542.

$60.

What the hell are you doing?

It's a new rule. We have to

call in anything over $50.

This is outrageous!

I'm emotionally naked!

Get a gold card.

I don't have to call those in.

I've applied.

I want to discuss

my darkest sides!

As soon as I get approval.

I hate this, too.

It hit me right in the hands!

Thank you.

Sorry, Jack. It's no good.

You're right. It's no good.

I can't live like this.

The card!

I'll sue!

Calm down, Jack.

Maybe we can work

something out for under $50.

Can we discuss the game for $50?

- Aw, Jack!

- Please.

I know every county

line in San Jaquine valley.

I came here for a little variety.

All I hear about is some tie game played

13 years ago I can barely remember.

0h, come on, Darla.

You were gridiron princess.

Remember the homecoming queen?

Come on. You remember.

Reno remembers.

The whole town remembers.

- 0K, I remember!

- And?

You should have caught

the damn ball.

0h, I knew it!

0hhh! Aggghhh!

[Sobbing]

Can't you make a comeback?

From what?

I'm not a has-been.

I'm a never-was.

I aspire to be a has-been.

I'm not listening to this crapola,

and it is crapola, every week.

You got unfinished business,

finish it.

How?

Play the game again.

Just play the game again.

You can't play the game again.

- Why not?

- You can't rewrite history.

- Why not?

- It's an unnatural act.

There's no such

thing as an unnatural act.

I should know.

Tell me one good reason

you can't play

that game again?

All right, I'll tell you!

You can't because...

Because...

0ne reason, Jack.

Just one.

- Hey, Teddy.

- Hey, dad.

How was school today?

PE was okay.

Shop teacher started

acting weird again.

He told us Taft, California

was the safest place America

in case of a nuclear war.

- He said it's the winds.

- That's weird enough.

Teddy, are you out there, honey?

I guess mom told you

she's moving?

Yeah, she said something.

It's just to the motel.

She'll be back.

Hell, I know. A women needs

breathing room occasionally.

Hell, I know.

Teddy, give me a hand.

0h, hurry!

Thanks, honey.

I'm bogged down in Taft.

So's your father.

0nly he doesn't know it.

Your father's lost his drive.

0h! Careful!

I'm going to give singing a shot.

I just don't want

to settle for second-best.

Second-best?

Second-best?

I'll tell you why

I don't want to leave Taft.

I'll tell you.

It's a fair question.

You say why...

Why I don't want to leave Taft?

- I'm comfortable here.

- This place is a hellhole.

If you knew anything

you'd know...

Taft has been judged America's

safest city in case of a nuclear war.

It's because of the winds.

Ha! The winds?

0h, man, you're unbelievable!

You think the Russians

won't go for the oil fields?

They'll wipe out our energy.

Taft will be the first to go.

You think they won't hit L. A?

0f course they would, but at least

till then I'd be in the big leagues!

Here's another reason I won't leave.

I have a successful business here.

You owe six months' mortgage.

Five months!

Besides, you can't leave me yet.

Why not?

Your v-dub doesn't work.

I'm taking it to another shop.

0h, wow.

I have never been unfaithful to you.

Never.

0h, you know...

I'm just tired of all the junk.

The junk in my life...

The junk in this yard.

0K, now we're getting somewhere.

Name one piece of junk,

and I'll get rid of it.

You don't even understand.

- I do.

- No, you don't.

Just name one piece of junk...

junk... and it's gone.

What's this?

That's... a '53 Studebaker brake drum.

It's a classic.

Interchangeable with later

model Volvos, small Chevys,

some imported pickups,

'74s to '78s.

Some '79s.

Right.

I'll be at the Top Hat Motel.

[Honking]

Reno, I've got to talk to you.

Reno, I have just

come up with a big idea.

It's a one-in-a-lifetime,

monster concept.

It's a killer.

You want to hear it?

Can't wait.

We play the game again.

What game?

What do you mean,

What game?

The game!

How many were there,

for Christ's sakes?

Your greatest pass,

my greatest drop.

0h, that game.

You and me are going

to breathe new life

into the bowels of our souls.

We'll charge into chambers

where demons lurk

kick the sh*t out of

the little bastards...

- and change the miserable past.

- I like the miserable past.

0K! All right!

All right! 0K!

If not for me and not for you,

why don't we replay

the game for the whole town.

We can raise Taft out of lethargy.

0kay, you listen to me

for a change.

You dropped the ball.

The whole town didn't.

You want to breathe new life into

the bowels where chambers lurk,

you do it.

Colonel, sir.

I propose we replay

the historic game of 1972.

"Jack, Jack, Jack.

Life is short.

I don't have time for

this descent into this..."

...personal madness of yours.

In layman's terms,

Jack, you make me sick.

Is that a yes?

I'm a busy man.

I got the booster club,

the sports federation...

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