The Best Thief in the World

[Beat box music plays]

Yeah! This is our

show right here!

B*tch!

We're rapping kids, yo.

We're rapping kids!

Don't mess with us!

Say what?

I'm the man.

Say what?

I'm the man.

Say what?

Both:
I'm the man.

I'm the man.

I'm the man.

Say what?

I'm the man.

Say what?

I'm the man!

Say what?

I'm the man!

[Laughs] say what?

I'm the man.

Hey! Don't listen to him!

Listen to me!

Listen to me!

I got a little gold tooth here!

I'm the man, yo!

Say what?

[Children shouting

in distance]

Okay, sammy joe, let's get

this show on the road.

Put your shoes on.

I know, i'm dead. Bang.

I thought we were waiting

for Izzy to come back this time.

Oh, honey...

is that really what

you want to wear?

Yes, i have to.

We're going to

the hospital.

I want to wear this

to the hospital.

Fine. Wear what you want.

But come here.

I don't want to go

if Izzy doesn't have to.

If he wants to be an a**hole,

that's his problem.

Okay. Come on.

Let's go.

Amy, would you...

i know, i know.

Whoo!

Aah!

[Speaking indistinctly]

[Doorbell rings]

[Doorbell rings]

Woman:
Hello?

Sorry, wrong apartment.

[Doorbell rings]

[Doorbell rings]

Come out, come out,

wherever you are.

[Slam]

[Laughing]

[Static blares]

[Static stops]

Yesterday, i saw dad's ghost

in the doorway.

It wasn't real,

honey.

That's stupid.

He's not even dead yet.

[Machine hissing]

You can't move him.

I won't authorize it.

Well, this doesn't require

authorization.

I won't let you.

I won't.

So help me,

if you or anybody else

tries to move that man,

i'll kill you.

Miss zaidman, please.

I'm sorry.

We just don't have

the space.

We... i'll take him home,

then.

That is an option.

It would be very difficult,

but it's possible.

You really don't get it,

do you?

What am i supposed to do

with my kids?

How am i supposed to work?

I'm a goddamn english teacher.

Miss zaidman, i'm sorry.

We just don't have

the space.

I'm really very sorry.

I know you are.

I'm sorry.

Ruth.

Hey, robbie.

Nice of you to come.

[Sighs]

Are you okay, mom?

I suppose so, honey.

It's just the damn insurance

and the damn hospital.

We are so f***ed.

Where's Izzy?

Respect, robbie.

Shut your hole.

What?

I don't know where he is.

He's being a sh*t.

The doctor thinks paul's

well enough to come home.

Hmm. [laughs]

[Laughs]

What do you think,

paul?

Hey, guys.

Wh... hello?

Honey? Jim?

Are you okay?

Are you sick?

Why aren't you

at work?

Hello?

Are you depressed?

Jim, honey, i'm sorry,

but...

[beat box music plays]

Hey, yo, this is

"walkin' through the jungle."

One, two, three, go.

[Rapping] walking through

the jungle, my dick in my hand

i'm a mean motherf***er,

i'm a jungle man

i look in the tree,

and what i see?

a green motherf***er

gonna sh*t on me

i took a rock,

hit his cock

and that motherf***er

ran a block

all right,

so who you got, man?

I got him right there.

I got him.

I got my man with

the red hat right here.

I got my man

with the blue hat.

Get outta here, man.

I f***ing

hate this sh*t.

Just shut up.

Come on! Let's play

the f***ing game!

Taking all day.

Yo, you go deep. You go down

and across the steps.

You go underneath

across the middle.

Dice is gonna guard you,

so get the ball,

and i'm gonna burn his ass,

a'ight?

Yo, i'm gonna be open.

Why can't we just play

some f***ing football?

Yo, just do it, man.

I'm gonna take care of dice.

Damn.

Yo, hit me if i'm open.

I can take my man.

Yeah, yeah.

Just get open, okay?

Ready?

You can chill. You know

you ain't gonna get it.

Set! Hike!

Go ahead, go ahead!

Cut to the left!

Cut to the left!

Got it!

[Speaking indistinctly]

Yeah!

Why you gotta throw me

by the glass, man?

What you gonna do,

my man?

What you gonna do

about it, nigga?

Ohh! Ohh!

Ohh! Ohh!

[Laughter]

I was wide open.

Take this,

you stupid f***!

Ain't so tough now,

right? Sh*t.

Cry to your mama,

little boy.

[Laughter]

Oh, sh*t!

You need to get up,

man.

Come on,

let's get out of here.

You all right?

Boy:

Get him! Get him!

Ohh! Ohh!

Ohh! Ohh!

Don't let him do that!

[Kids speaking indistinctly]

Stupid b*tch.

Yo, that kid gonna

f*** you up in a few years.

F*** you, b.

[Laughter]

[Exhales deeply]

Hey, mom.

What's for dinner?

Meat.

Meat and potatoes.

Your father's favorite.

I didn't know

it was today.

What?

You knew.

I didn't.

I told you

a million times.

It was a big, big deal,

Izzy.

A big deal.

And you blew it.

I forgot, mom.

I'm sorry.

[Sighs]

Dad?

[Breathing heavily]

Yes.

Yes.

Hello...

m-m-m-m...

mother.

So, how's it going?

Juice, please.

Okay, i'll get you some juice.

One second.

There's another one

in the cupboard.

Thanks.

Give it some time,

honey.

He knows who you are.

Got you some juice,

dad.

You want me to

take that for you?

Did mom ever tell you

how good i did

in school last year?

Yeah, well,

i got straight "a's."

I'm a pretty smart kid,

as you might remember.

I stopped playing piano,

basically because i hated it,

and i sucked.

Well, i didn't hate it.

I just hated to practice.

Chess.

Chess.

You want to play chess?

You could start

teaching me again.

The horse goes on

the outside, remember?

Yes.

Over there, too.

Dad...

it's your move.

It's okay.

We'll play later.

Izzy, where you going?

Nowhere.

No, you're not.

Why?

'Cause your father

just came home.

Don't play stupid with me.

I'll be right back.

I just forgot to

tell this guy something.

Don't test me right now, Izzy.

I'm not in the mood.

I don't know what

you're talking about.

God, i hate it

when you're mad.

It pisses me off.

Just go.

I don't know if you want me to

go or if you want me to stay.

Just get out of my face

for a while.

I'll be right back,

i promise.

[Doorbell rings]

Come out, come out,

wherever you are.

[Doorbell rings]

Oh, my god!

What beautiful children.

Thank you.

It was no problem, sue.

How are things?

It's fine.

He's fine.

You know. He's only been

back a couple of hours,

but it's nice just to

have him in the house, you know.

[Imitates explosion]

Hey, yo, this is

"10, 20, 30."

One, two, three, go.

[Rapping]

10, 20, 30, 40

50 more

your dick got stuck

in the kitchen door

your mama screamed,

the dick turned green

and that is the end

of the jingaling

sue, i know

you're in a hurry.

It's just that...

with strokes,

there is a window

after the patient has one

where the brain is

reconfiguring itself,

trying to figure out new routes

around the damaged area.

Once the window closes,

the chances of recovery

shrink to almost nothing.

That's why i wanted him

to stay here.

You're doing your best,

i know.

It's not about you

or your effort.

I just feel that

i should be honest with you.

Thank you very much.

Sue, i have

a professional obligation

to tell you that

i don't think he'll improve.

Thank you.

I know you don't, but...

he will.

I know that he will.

That one's cherry.

Hi, hot stuff.

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