The Best Years of Our Lives Page #10

Is Fred in love with you?

Yes.

- You've been seeing him?

- Only once. Today.

Oh, it was all perfectly respectable.

But when we were saying goodbye, he...

he took me in his arms

and kissed me and...

and I knew.

You think a kiss from a smooth operator

like Fred means anything?!

You don't know him. You don't know

anything about what's inside him.

Neither does she. His wife.

That's probably what she thought -

a smooth operator

with money in his pockets.

But now he isn't smooth any longer,

and she's lost interest.

Whereas you're possessed

of all the wisdom of the ages(!)

You can see into the secret recesses

of his innermost soul(!)

I can see because I love him.

So you're gonna break this marriage up.

Have you decided how?

Are you gonna do it with an axe?

It's none of your business

how I'm going to do it!

You've forgotten

what it's like to be in love!

Hear that? I'm so old and decrepit, I've

forgotten how it feels to want somebody.

Peggy didn't mean that.

Did you, darling?

No.

I don't know what I do mean.

It's just that everything has

always been so perfect for you.

You loved each other

and you got married in a big church

and you had a honeymoon

in the South of France.

You never had any trouble of any kind.

So how can you possibly understand

how it is with Fred and me?

We never had any trouble?

How many times have I told you

I hated you and believed it in my heart?

How many times have you said you were

sick of me, that we were all washed up?

How many times have we had to

fall in love all over again?

I'm sorry, Mom.

Never mind about that, darling.

- (Al) Fred.

- Hiya, Butch.

- Hello, Fred.

- Al here?

- He's back there, waiting for you.

- See you later.

- Hiya, Al.

- Sit down, Fred.

- What are you drinking?

- A cup of coffee. Gotta have a clear head.

- A cup of coffee and a bourbon and soda.

- Yes, sir.

What's on your mind, Al? Want to

borrow some money or something(?)

I, uh... called you to ask you a question.

OK. Shoot.

Are you in love with Peggy?

- Is there a law compelling me to answer?

- No.

Nevertheless, I repeat:

are you in love with Peggy?

Yes.

I thank you for a short and honest answer.

You're welcome.

Now what do we take up next?

Your wife. What about her?

Where does she fit

in this romantic situation?

Is that any of your business?

That's what Peggy said -

that it's none of my business.

Oh, you've had her on the carpet, too.

She volunteered some information

to her mother and me.

You see, we have a rather unusual

relationship in our family.

It may seem corny and mid-Victorian,

but we tell each other things.

I happen to be quite fond of Peggy, and I...

You don't want her mixed up with a heel.

I haven't called you a heel. Yet.

I just don't want to see her

get into this mess.

OK, chum, what do we do now?

Step out and settle this thing in the alley?

I wouldn't want to recommend

that as a solution.

I've learned to fight dirty.

If I got tangled up with you,

I might break your neck.

I wouldn't like that.

- You see, I'm quite fond of you, too.

- Thanks.

But I don't like the idea of you

sneaking around corners to see Peggy,

taking her love on a bootleg basis.

I give you fair warning, I'll do everything

I can to keep her away from you,

to help her forget about you and get her

married to a guy who'll make her happy.

Then I guess that's it, Al.

I don't see her any more.

I'll put that in the form of a guarantee.

I won't see her any more.

I'll call her up and tell her so.

- That satisfy you?

- Yeah.

- Anything else on your mind?

- No.

OK, chum. So long.

So long, Fred.

The drinks are on me.

- Hello, Homer.

- Hi, Steve.

Say, Al Stephenson's back there.

- Al?

- Yeah.

- Hi, Al.

- Hello, Homer.

- How are you?

- Fine, thanks.

- Hello, Homer.

- Hi, Butch.

- Say, let's show Al that new routine.

- Sure.

Got something to show you, Al.

Well, come on.

- Boy, wait till you hear this.

- All set, kid?

- I'm ready when you are.

- OK. One, two, three.

(? "Chopsticks")

That's fine!

What's the matter?

Didn't you like it, Al?

Sure, it was swell. I thought you were

kidding about the piano lessons.

Fred! Hey, Fred!

That was Fred.

Yeah.

- Is anything wrong?

- No, he had to go back to the drugstore.

Come on, Homer, buy me a drink.

Who was it?

Fred.

He said he's sorry for what happened,

but it was just one of those things.

He said it wouldn't be fair to his wife for

us to see each other any more because...

I'm obviously the kind of girl

that takes these things too seriously.

Then he said goodbye,

very politely, and hung up.

Well, I guess you and Dad

won't have to worry about me any more.

That's the end of my career

as a home-wrecker.

Mom, I know you feel sorry for me.

You think my poor little heart is broken.

But you can save your sympathy.

I can see things clearer now.

I made a fool of myself.

I'm getting some sense

hammered into me now.

I'm glad I'm out of that mess.

I'm glad I'll never see him again! I...

Two chocolate sundaes coming up.

What about a ham and cheese

on whole-wheat?

Ham and cheese coming up.

- Here you are.

- (delighted whistle)

Thank you.

- Hello, Homer. How've you been?

- Hi, Fred.

- Glad to see you.

- Say, Fred.

- Yeah?

- What happened at Butch's?

- What do you mean?

- You and Al. Was there any trouble?

Oh, no. We were just having

a little friendly chat.

- There you are, sir.

- Thanks.

- What'll yours be, Homer?

- Oh, I don't care. A chocolate sundae.

OK.

Hi.

- How are you, soldier?

- Sailor.

Excuse me.

Say, uh... do you mind if

I ask you a personal question?

I know what it is. How did I get

these hooks, and how do they work?

That's what everybody says when they

start off "Mind if I ask you a question?"

Well, I'll tell you. I got sick and tired

of that old pair of hands I had.

An awful lot of trouble,

washing them and manicuring my nails.

So I traded them in

for these latest models.

They work by radar. Look.

- Pretty cute, eh?

- You got plenty of guts.

It's terrible when you see a guy like you

that had to sacrifice himself. For what?

- For what?! I don't get you, mister.

- Well...

- Anything else for you?

- Check.

We let ourselves get sold down the river.

We were pushed into war.

Sure, by the Japs and the Nazis.

The Germans and the Japs

had nothing against us.

They wanted to fight

the limeys and the Reds.

They would've whipped 'em, too, if we

didn't get deceived into it by Washington.

What are you talking about?

We fought the wrong people, that's all.

Just read the facts, my friend. Find out for

yourself why you had to lose your hands.

- Then go out and do something about it.

- You'd better pay your check and go.

- Well, who do you think you are?

- Pay the cashier right over there.

- Coffee, please.

- Yes, ma'am.

There's another thing. Every soda jerk in

this country's got an idea he's somebody!

What are you selling anyway?

I'm not selling anything

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