The Big Bird Cage Page #5

You're out your f***ing head.

It's better than going on

like this.

Bullshit.

You'll just make it worse.

Anyway,

I don't have to argue about it.

I'm just telling you

to back off.

Now!

[Dramatic music]

Warden, it is not safe

for you to be out here

Without armed guards

anymore.

Yes,

we'll need more armed men.

Many more.

Rocco, go and call

for an army detachment.

I want them here tonight.

Warden, tonight?

They're too far away.

Tell them to hurry, then!

Lock the prisoners up

for the night.

Now, moreno!

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

All right,

everyone back to your cottages.

Come on, all of you girls.

I want to speak to the warden,

please.

No,

everyone back to your cottages.

You too.

Now move.

Come on, hurry up.

That's right,

you silly b*tches.

Back to your cottages.

[Quietly]

It's tonight.

Pass the word.

[Quietly]

It's tonight.

Pass the word.

[Quietly] Tonight.

Pass the word.

[Dogs barking]

Lights out, girls,

in ten minutes.

Where are the others?

All present

that are still alive, sir.

Okay, sleeping uglies,

If a frog comes in

and kisses you,

Don't open your eyes.

It's the girl across the aisle.

[Laughs]

Speak for yourself, sir gay.

[Laughs]

Please, rocco, I'm sick.

I want to go to the infirmary.

Take two aspirins

and go to bed.

If you don't feel better

in the morning, call me.

[Laughs]

Ah!

[Laughs]

[Gagging]

[Coughing]

[Panting]

[Coughing]

You, close the door.

That came up awfully sudden,

didn't it?

I just think

she lost her nerve.

I just think

we better keep an eye on her.

Got ya.

All right, you chippies.

Now, I don't know just

when this party's gonna start,

But when it does,

anybody tries to back out

Is gonna get their ass kicked in

that hole with Karen and mickie.

Don't worry.

We have all we can stand.

- Yeah, that's right.

- That's right.

Yeah.

That's it.

Now, let's be sure

we're good and ready.

[Coughs]

Oh, damn.

The little b*tch

got blood on my trousers.

[Laughs]

Looks like jism

with a kidney condition.

[Giggles]

Please, you've got

to let me speak to the warden.

It's important.

Nonsense.

Girl, you're ill.

No, I'm not.

Please call him.

I have some information for him.

Information?

What kind of information?

I-I can only tell the warden.

I'm afraid

that's impossible right now.

All right, I'll tell you,

But you must go

to the warden right away.

[Plays chord]

Both:

You can sleep in my room, Sam.

Say, how would you fellas

Like to have some

very special coconut wine

A good friend of mine

brewed up in his own still?

I thought that might

loosen things up a bit.

Good idea.

[Buzzer sounds]

Darn.

Why does he always have to call

at a time like this?

Don't get lost, s.S.

Remember, I saw him first.

Gosh,

I thought he'd never leave.

Let's have a drink in my room

Where we won't have any of these

free rollers coming around.

[Laughs]

Why, that'd be just swell,

brown eyes.

Yeah, right on.

Yeah, that's it.

Shh, not so much noise.

Yeah, that's good.

That's good.

Make sure it stays on.

Now, that wouldn't dent

a fly's ass.

Make it sharper.

[Whispers]

Oh, come on.

[Sighs]

Now, this is the way

to get a party started.

[Laughs]

[Pours liquid]

[Strikes match]

Oh, what a man!

I'm sure the troops

will be here tonight,

But you cannot expect them

this soon.

Well, well, see if you can get

the base on the telephone.

You should learn

to relax more, warden zappa.

Getting agitated

is bad for your heart.

I am not agitated!

Don't you have work to do

in the infirmary?

Seems to be dead, sir.

Idiot, let me have it.

The line's been cut.

Well, I wanted to talk to you,

but you wouldn't listen.

I think I should mention this

incident in my report.

Just a moment.

You know something

about all this?

What is it?

Rocco,

go and fetch your friend Smith.

Well...

[Moaning]

He hit me...

Down here.

Oh, I'm sick.

[Moans]

Sam?

Sam?

Sam, baby?

What are you...

Hi, rocco, honey.

I was just getting some

of the good stuff for the party.

Put that down.

Gee whiz.

[Blow lands]

All right, lover boy.

I know where to put a bullet

So you gonna bleed inside

all slow and painful,

And I will if you make

the slightest little squeak.

Get the tape.

[Dramatic music]

Okay, lard ass, up.

You know what to do?

Yeah,

I guess I can figure that out.

Move it.

[Dog barking]

Nice doggy.

Easy, doggy.

[Tearing]

It's okay, girls.

It's django.

Ah, you looking good, girls.

You looking good.

This here's a hostage.

You can do

whatever you want with him,

Just so long

as you keep him quiet.

Oh, ah.

Excuse me, girls.

Coming through.

All right, kitties,

gather around.

It's Christmas morning.

Here you go, honey.

There's one for you.

Here, take this.

Thanks.

Sorry, honey.

You're gonna have to gift wrap

this one yourself.

Ooh, Nora well.

Used to work

on the big bird cage.

Hmm.

Don't leave me alone

with them, my friend.

Have mercy.

Kill and burn, girls.

Kill and burn.

Say, I have an idea.

[Ripping]

[Moaning]

[Clears throat]

[Moaning]

I'm afraid this

is just gonna have to wait.

It'll be all the better then.

[Laughs]

I got a present for you.

[Clattering]

Whoo, my baby.

Okay, girls,

we goin' kick some ass tonight.

Yeah, that's it, yeah.

[Dogs barking]

[Dog growling]

[Panting]

[Panting]

Warden.

Warden zappa!

No.

No, no.

No.

Well, you're finally

gonna get to use that thing

For what it was made for.

[Panting]

No, I can't,

Not like this.

Oh, yes, you can.

Come on, boy.

Up, boy, up.

I'll get it up.

[Muted screaming]

No.

All:
Hey, hey, hey.

Me first.

I'm next.

It won't last.

It'll last,

or he'll lose it.

[Cries]

Don't... don't.

[Screaming]

Will you shut the bastard up?

I'll shut him up.

[Screaming]

[Muted screaming]

Ohh.

Tell me what you're up to,

or I'll...

All right, all right.

It's django, the bandit.

The new guard, Smith, is django.

Idiot.

Find him.

He can't be far.

Yes, sir.

[Whistle blowing]

Guards, over here, quick!

You, turn on the floodlights.

- Yes, sir.

- Quick, search the grounds.

I want you to find this new man,

Smith, right now.

Bring him to me.

Go on!

Faster!

Sh*t.

Oh, well.

So django, I presume, huh?

Hi!

You win.

I give up.

I know when I'm lit.

My goose is cooked,

And so is yours,

you faggoty ass son of a...

[Explosion]

Jesus, I've never had one

like that before.

[Crumbling]

[Gunshots]

[Gunfire]

And the game's on.

Let's go.

[Gunshots]

[Gunfire]

[Yells]

[Explosion]

[Explosions]

[Screaming]

Kill those mangy maggots!

[Gunshots]

[Screaming]

[Gunfire]

[Screaming]

Burn, you son of a b*tch!

[Gunshots]

[Explosion]

[Gunshots]

[Suspenseful music]

Ah!

[Screams]

[Gunshots]

[Screaming]

[Fire crackling]

[Screaming]

Come on!

[Screaming]

[All screaming]

[Gunshots]

Come on!

[Screaming]

[Fire crackling]

Where do you think

you're going, blabbermouth?

Hey, easy, easy.

We may need her.

Which way did that django go?

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